You might be a mall ninja

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You prefer bolt-actions over semi autos because you think it's fun to work the action
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woah woah woah.......

i love manually operated firearms, and mall ninjas prefer semis because its "tacticool"

bolts are fun, reliable, accurate. Im shooting an m48 tmrw:D
 
Or the " It happened to me" sections of American Guns and Blammo. Send it your 'true' stories and get $100.

Although a friend of mine actually did do that and get the money.
 
You might be a mall ninja if -

You nag suppliers of tactical military clothing for sizes that require the use of XX's.

Your high lumen tactical lights are marked Rayovac.

You use black spray paint on the dog tags you bought from the Army Surplus.

Your bdu pocket has a slot cut in it from the tread grip taped handle of the clipped box knife.

You own a tactical ink pen that cost over $15.

Your keychain has (chose three): a pry bar, LED light, micro Spyderco knife, monkey fist knot, skull beads, compass, titanium bottle opener, handcuff key, whistle, super tweezers, web lanyard from the recruiter, pepper spray, or remote with panic.

You own Nomex fingerless gloves.

Your 46" wilderness belt is rappel capable.

The rifle sling you use attaches from the rear swivel to your day pack - because squirrel hunting is really a CQC training exercise.

You wear Underarmor T-shirts and droopy white cotton socks.

The Mossy Oak camo bandana you own doubles as a sniper veil, ninja mask, and medical sling, and you got it at the EZ Stop.

You are seriously thinking of buying an Iphone to load the new sniper app that calculates trajectory, but grandma won't pay the monthly access fee.

Your computer has a screensaver of Delta team operators stacked for entry, and your home page is the Blackwater web site, but you're still on free dial-up.
 
you have your dog wear a "tactical dog vest" to carry your survival gear, such as spare mags, field surgery kit (in case a surgeon finds you after you're wounded) flares, matches, signal mirror, and water purification tablets, on your quick neighborhood strolls.

if you put a spring in the bottom of your holster to help speed draw, double points if you dont have a pistol.

You judge rifle and shotgun purchases on what can be fired 1 handed easily

you buy left handed weapons but fire right handed, because its cool to see the action running while firing

you have a tactical training room that has no workout gear

you Have a MRE, mountain dew and cheetos for lunch.

you have no knowlege of guns not in video games
 
If you have a 16x scope with adjustable target turrets, flip scope covers, and a balistic card hanging off an ar15 and only shoot it at 25yrds.

You also get 1 extra ninja point for every 2x over 16x, 2 extra ninja points for every 10mm over 50mm obj., and another 2 points for an anti-reflection device.:D
 
You work at a gunshop and say:

"In desert storm....."

"In Iraq...."

"I had to get out of the Army because...."(followed by lame excuse)

"I was issued one of these in the Army" (While holding up a pistol other than an M9/92FS)

"In basic training...."
 
Chemgirlie, that is the infamous Gecko45, the progenitor of the "Mall Ninja" label. In one of his comments, he assures us that he is heavily trained in the art of "Ninjitsu"; coupled with his job as the "...Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of America’s largest indoor retail shopping areas," his skills in "ninjitsu" earned him the mocking label of the Mall Ninja.

We owe this hilarious thread to Mister 45.
 
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you might be a mall ninja if...

you drink Monster brand energy drinks to give you that "extra edge", double points if you drink the ones that have the camo pattern can. don't forget, you always drink it label out to show off to people

you think an AR has more destructive power than an AK

you think your expensive accessories make your gun fire better

your side arm is just as decked out as your AR (rails, scopes, lights, lasers, bayonet)

you always get a military style haircut even though you've never been in the military and neither was your parents.

you pretty much worship Tom Clancy and read all his books in public so people can see how "cool" you are

you got your "training" from a combination of games like Counter Strike, Rainbow Six, and Call of Duty 4

you claim to have family members(usually uncles, or cousins) that were SEALs or some other special forces that got you "hook ups" with their trainers.

you think you're "secret military background"/training/survival stories will get the ladies even though you're a overly skinny, dorky little virgin that lives with mommy and has no real friends/friends that are just as tacticool mall ninja as you

you claim to have had sex with this one girl that no one knows because she lives in another state/the girl who went out with you once on a pity date

you listen to bands like Ramstein

instead of buying Penthouse or Playboy(real man boobie mags[magazines, as in the readable kind, not the kind you put in your gun silly mall ninja]) you buy gun magazines that feature the latest tacticool gear for your AR that if you don't have it then you won't make it.
 
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You wear a SEAL cap, with various pins attached to it. However in reality you were never in the military, can't swim and get sea sick on the boat ride at the carnival. :p
 
every long gun you own, including the bolt guns, has a T6 stock

you own fast rope gear even though you weigh so much theres no hope of you being able to slow yourself down
 
You fantasize about a select fire g3ka4 in 338 lapua magnum that shooots minuite of angle (1 inch at 10 yards)

9x19mm.com is so funny!
 
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