You might be a mall ninja

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if you honestly believe special weapons makes a quality product.

If you store it in saltwater to prevent freezing during winter use

if you wonder how to make a 408 chevy tac concealable
 
Your Mosin Nagant looks anything even remotely close to this:
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The word "tacticool" is quite appropriate for describing your personal style
 
Re: Mall Ninja Acronyms[1]

In addition to the F.A.R.T. teams, don't forget that many of the smaller urban malls have their own Special Purpose Urban Response Teams or as they're known in the business, S.P.U.R.T.s

These are not to be confused with those teams that cover sprawling, outdoor suburban malls that include a Home Depot or Lowes. Those are usually Tactical Weapons Incident Teams (T.W.I.T.s). Most all of these "tactical" teams are taught by commanders of the various teams, like Gecko45. In fact, they have formed a side-business called Tactical Weapons And Training Systems or (T.W. ahh, I better not).

Training courses includes such topics as:[2]

Maximizing Site OPS-SEC
Training in operational security for your particular site and it's unique hazards. How to maximize your presence by:
- Reducing SRI's (Skakteboard Riding Intruders)
- Verifying MECs (Mall Employee Credentials)
- Knowing theft rings mask themselves as TTGs (Trendy Teen Groups)
- TTG surveillance tactics
- Use of strategic PLP's (Parking Lot Patrols)

Planning for Special Hazards
This module helps the MSO (mall security officer) prepare plans for special localized hazards. Areas covered include preparing for;
- Truck bombs disguised as Sears delivery trucks
- Amphibious assaults across the lake behind the mall
- Airborne terrorist attacks from general aviation aircraft
- Site evacuation in case of an NBC threat.
- Preventing rooftop access to terrorists with .50 BMGs.

Equipment Selection and Benefits
A module weighing the benefits of equipment procurements and their use for MSO's. Some of the topics covered are;
- Previously owned police units as your POV (personally owned vehicle)
- Benefits of POVs vs. mall EOVs (electrically operated vehicle)
- How to select your MPU (mall patrol uniform) jumpsuit for maximum loads.
- Arrangement of your PTE (Personal Tactical Equipment) including belt locations and use of pockets.
- Placement of BUGs and BUKs (backup guns & knives)
- Critical differences between Woundstat™ and Quikclot® combat dressings.



[1] The author not responsible for damaged computer equipment, injuries sustained falling off chairs or snorting cola out your nose.
[2] Any resemblance between these courses and any sort of useful training is purely coincidental.
 
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Your extensive training:

Does not involve running, a gym, swimming or any other recognized forms of PT.
Unless you count watching "S.W.A.T." and "Navy Seals" over and over again... they do some PT in those movies.
 
I think mall ninjas who train from movies shouldn't be allowed to shoot.

I really don't want to be on patrol someday and go to the scene of someone trying that stunt from "Wanted" on his friend
 
Didn't someone claim they froze there hi-power in ice and carried a sig as backup to the hi-power?

He was definatly a ninja.:D
 
If the reason you prefer single stack autos is so you can hold two in EACH hand and quad weild them, you are a mall ninja
 
this thread has convinced me

Tomorrow I will package up a stripped ar15 lower and send it off for etching...





it will read

Mall Security
Tactical Ninja
Weapon
#1​
 
This is funny.

I was one of the original responders to GECO 45 post on the HK91 forums, and looks like the legend lives on. It has been 8 years, and I have a filling will be talking about it in another 10 :)
 
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