You might be a mall ninja

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How many flashlights on your AR pushes you over the boundary to ninja hood. I counted three on someone's at a match yesterday. Some are big as trash cans.
 
You might be a mall ninja if:

Your ex police cruiser Crown Vic still has the thermoformed back seat. And you marked the fenders with what tire pressure to use.

Your tac boots were on special at Academy and marked "Brahma."

A high point is more than a nice time of day, it's your backup gun.

The wilderness belt you wear for extraction shows more wear from beer bottle caps than rope.

You grossly exceed the load rating for the wilderness belt.

You grossly exceed the load rating for the Crown Vic.

You grossly exceed the load rating for your computer chair and had to prop it up with concrete block.

You wear 5.11 pants to a job interview as Site Supervisor for Security at a phone bank, and the Geek Squad chicks remind you of Cloe. Waaay hot.

Your interviewer for Site Supervisor at a phone bank remarks that they don't think it's possible 5.11 made denim bib tactical pants with an undercover label marked "Roundhouse."

At work you found out that bragging about being a L70 warlock gets you less snickers. At least the screen print looks like you.

Police officers commandeer your vehicle and chase perps in gun battles with you at the wheel because Metro's have a high power to weight ratio for their stealth factor.

Your poster of Angelina Jolie from "SkyCaptain" is on the back of the closet door because Granma doesn't need to know it's there.

Your computer porn is mostly DOD photos from Afghanistan, and the 15 gig hard drive is full.

There are more empty chip bags in the trash can at your computer desk than empty magazines in your range bag.

You really believe you are going to start martial arts training as soon as the instructor receives a uniform in your size until the little girl next door says they all had to buy their own.

You won the bid on Ebay for the FM on Spec Ops knife fighting, and the vendor promises the next printing will be shipped in six months barring any new declassification delays from DOD.

You won the bid for a Strider AR at the incredible price of $225 just to find it marked "Buck," "Made in USA," and the box marked "Quang Chi Distributing."

Evil, insensitive people dedicated to anarchy, and the ruin of human civilization as we know it, actually post your screen name in a thread about suckers who buy fake knives from Ebay.

Your screen name is a combination of the registered trademark of a gun maker and caliber. It's also your email address on your resume, and your My Face page has links to all your favorite tactical suppliers.

Jack Bauer/Mr. T/Chuck Norris jokes aren't funny. They really do that stuff.
 
:DGreat, now I will need to refinance my house in order to have enough money to buy new guns and make the changes to them in order to keep up with all you Mall Ninja freaks. :D:D
 
You ma be a mall ninja if you bought a CZ handgun based on the fact there is a bayonet option. Or put aq bayonet on a taurus judge for a completely useless weapon.
 
You might be a Mall Ninja

You might be a Mall Ninja if you just bought a 3 piece suit for your sisters wedding made of the latest camo pattern.
 
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