You might be a mall ninja

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If you could own any 15 guns, and only said 15 guns, and this is the list you came up with:

1. Barrett .50 Semi-Auto Anti-Material Rifle
2. .308 Chambered AR15 varmint clone rifle
3. Larue Stealth 12 inch upper with Novenske lower and Suppressor
4. Carbine length LMT with Suppressor and ACOG
5. 10.5 Inch upper with suppressor and Eotech 552
6. Varmint length .458 Socom with rifle scope and NV
7. WilsonCombat tactical rifle in .338 Lapua
8. Nighthawk Custom 5'' Battle ready CQB 1911
9. Colt Government 1911 .45
10. Wilson Combat 4'' CQB
11. Springfield TRP
12. Springfield Whitefeather
13. Springfield Scout
14. H&K FA NFA MP5 or UMP.45
15. SAW
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Double points if you have more than half of them unlocked in COD4 multiplayer!
 
If you wear BDU's and combat boots on a regular basis. And are not in the military.

If you have Nunchucks, Sai's, or throwing stars.

MRE's are a regular part of your diet.
 
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If you wear BDU's and combat boots
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Do you have any idea how much crap you tote in the BDU's pockets?:D
And the boots... Can't go to the swamps with out lace up boots!:rolleyes:
But I isn't a mall ninja nor military guy.
Brent
 
Hogdogs I meant on a regular basis. Around the house or a trip to the local supermarket. That's what I talking about. I should have been more specific.
 
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I know that guy. And his buddy just like him. Drive around in BDUs simply so people will see them wearing BDUs. Neither own gns but with all the money they dmp on airsoft could own quite a collection. Im wearing an ODU right now, but thats because its the workday.
 
You consider a zombie apocalypse not fodder for a fun BS session but a real possibility for which you have been preparing.

i dont find this one funny


the zombies, they are coming
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True Dat.
 
Both the Marvel and DC comic universes are currently under attack by zombies. Don't ask how I know.

If Superman and Spiderman can't handle it - can mall ninjas?
 
Yes, zombie movies, people go to malls. They last quite a while poorly armed. Imagine what uber-tactical operators can do with tacticool guns lol.
 
You might be a mall ninja if:

You considered duct-taping a kitchen knife to your long arms to serve as a bayonet.

Your AR has more rails than the local train yard.

You put a heat shield on your shotgun because you may need it during urban assaults.

You put an M4 stock on your H&R single shot.

You put a pistol grip on your shotgun because you are so good at hip-shooting. If one pistol grip is good, two must be better, ehhh?

You don't actually have an AR, so you decided to make your 10/22 look like one as much as possible.

You have a breaching device on the end of your home defense shotgun, just in case you need to breach your own doors.

You think that during TSHTF, you will carry a bolt action rifle, a shotgun, a SOCOM M1A, a Ruger Mark II, and a 1911 just to cover all the base.

You have a .50 cal muzzle brake on your shotgun.

Your game remote is attached to an AR rail in case you get ambushed on Rainbow Six while you are handling your AR.

You have desert camo or sand colored weapons, even though you live in Illinois.

You consider playing Call of Duty to be combat experience.


Did I miss any?
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The only one of these examples I have issue with is the camo-finished weapon. I mean...who cares if one has such a thing? Im sure some here simply think such a finish looks cool, if nothing else. Nothing wrong with that. I mean, one does not have to be fighting in the desert in order to appreciate such a look...right?

Regardless, the examples you mentioned are extreme (and humorous). Some, Im not saying all, here start getting that itch to scream "Mall Ninja" whenever they find another implementing lasers, pistol grip stocks (full stocks), white light systems and the like. This is where things get tiresome as many of these items actually serve a practical purpose. Now, Ive used the lasers and lights, but have since decided I can do without. But, I never considered myself a "poser" or such nonsense. I merely went with what I thought was best at the time. Only after a bit of experimentation did I realize that such items may not be completely necessary. Useful yes...necessary...no.
 
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If you truly believe that playing Halo, Gears of War, anything by Tom Clancy, paintball, or airsoft qualifies as tactical training.

If you post pictures of yourself posing with your airsoft or paintball gun in full tactical gear on your myspace trying to display how much of a "bada**" you are.

If you refer to a Taurus millenium 45 acp as a "hand cannon".

If you own a 44 magnum because you saw Dirty Harry.

If you think the 9mm is the "jack of all trades" round.

You own a semi-auto pistol equipped with a threaded barrel for a suppressor but are in fact a civilian.

You have a ball bat beside your bed for home defense.

You have a bag of tactical gear, combat boots, radiation suit, etc. etc. at easy access in your closet just in case.
 
You own a semi-auto pistol equipped with a threaded barrel for a suppressor but are in fact a civilian but don't have nor plan to get a suppressor to go with it.
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FTFY. Lots of civilians go through the NFA process to obtain suppressors for their pistols for legitimate reasons such as hearing protection. Nothing mall-ninja about that.
 
If you have a loaded firearm in every room in your house. But not a single working smoke detector in any of them.

If you've ever told anyone that you are required by law to warn them of your martial arts skills.

If your belt buckle requires a CCW permit.

If you've ever explained to someone that the reason you still live in your parents basement is: That the concrete walls are impervious to most munitions.
 
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If you think carrying an M249 and .50bmg you use in COD would be a viable option in the real world.

If you wear full clothing to bed in fear that you may have to be ready in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
 
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