I know your pain. As I posted earlier, mine does as well. RA puts some serious constraints on just what she is able to handle and what she is able to operate. In her case, the 4" K frame Model 15 turned out to be ideal. Enough weight to absorb the recoil but not as heavy as, say, my 4" L frame 686. .38 Spl +P is enough to handle the self defense duties without being too punishing, especially in that K frame. There's no slide to rack and no magazines to load. There's loads of different grips out there for it, and the ones on it (unknown brand softer rubber, with light finger grooves in the front) actually fit her well. Add to that the usual good things that older K frames bring to the table. She loves it. I've gotta admit, it's a dream at the range.My wife has rheumotoid arthritis so she can't use certain guns...