Average Joe
New member
Who is carrying the gun , You or her ?
my girl friend hates guns...help?
- Thread starter george fury
- Start date
- Status
This is a very good point the next time she brings up the daddy thing I would use it. Other than that I would just keep on taking her shooting that .22 every time you can. You might think about buying a .22 of your own for her to shoot if you don't have one.
Once she starts to come around that can be her gun. If that doesn't work just break up with her and you'll still have the .22 
it's a win win. CarbineCaleb
New member
It sounds like you really like this girl - I wouldn't push it. If you want to sound reasonable, the best thing to do is be reasonable, and acknowledge that there is some validity to her concerns - that a gun is clearly a dangerous object, and therefore with some downsides.
However, personally, I think that the dangers of a firearm can be overcome with training and careful discipline at all times in trigger and muzzle direction, and in safe storage when it's not directly under your control. Moreover, there are also dangers that may arise from other people. So long as you are indeed a responsible gun owner who manages the risks from accident or it falling into unauthorized hands, then the risk from other people can be the greater of the two risks, and you can be safer with a gun.
If it were me, I would give it time, and use open, respectful discussion, and see how that goes. Ultimately, you may need to decide what's more important to you, your girl, or your guns?
However, personally, I think that the dangers of a firearm can be overcome with training and careful discipline at all times in trigger and muzzle direction, and in safe storage when it's not directly under your control. Moreover, there are also dangers that may arise from other people. So long as you are indeed a responsible gun owner who manages the risks from accident or it falling into unauthorized hands, then the risk from other people can be the greater of the two risks, and you can be safer with a gun.
If it were me, I would give it time, and use open, respectful discussion, and see how that goes. Ultimately, you may need to decide what's more important to you, your girl, or your guns?
Think of it this way ...
Which is easier? The pain now? Or later when you disagree politically & you are trying to teach a child the values & rights of our Constitution? She'll be turning you & your child in for treason b/c you own a handgun (if Obama has anything to say about it).
Get a new g/f.
Which is easier? The pain now? Or later when you disagree politically & you are trying to teach a child the values & rights of our Constitution? She'll be turning you & your child in for treason b/c you own a handgun (if Obama has anything to say about it).
Get a new g/f.
vox rationis
New member
Seriously though, take her to the range, explain why you choose to carry in a calm and rational manner, read gun facts with her, take her to the cornered cat website, etc. etc., but ultimately if she doesn't come around it means that she doesn't share one of your most important values (your refusal to be a helpless victim in the face of a potentially deadly attack against your loved ones or yourself), therefore this relationship cannot work, and shouldn't be forced to work, because it won't work in the final analysis; not if you want a relationship that is free of resentment, on both sides.
Shadi Khalil
New member
I dont think that tactic will work. I'm also surpirsed with all the "dump her" responses. A good healthy relationship can give you more satisfaction then any fire arm could.
chadwick76
New member
I had same problem, she got used to it though. I'm not a tough guy, but you have to stand your ground. Now i am married to her and we have 3 kids. I keep all guns locked up and now "out of sight, out of mind". I have lately had to smooze in order to build my 2nd ar, but that's not a big deal, just a little expensive. Or just give her the deal "dollar for dollar" it gets very, very expensive but works for a uddy of mine>
skydiver3346
New member
My daddy never carried or needed a gun".....
Well, maybe that was true in his time coming up. But there is is totally different world out there now and "the times they are a changin"........
My family used to keep the doors on our cars and even our houses unlocked when I was coming up. You would wake up with your throat cut nowadays for doing that. Yes, it is different now and folks need to do what is best for themselves and not what people used to do many years ago. Unfortunately,there are super dangerous people in our society that prey on unarmed and defenseless citizens so better to be prepared to defend yourself than try and get a gun when its too late. You just gotta make her understand the times now, (or decide for yourself which is more important?). Good luck to you!
Well, maybe that was true in his time coming up. But there is is totally different world out there now and "the times they are a changin"........
My family used to keep the doors on our cars and even our houses unlocked when I was coming up. You would wake up with your throat cut nowadays for doing that. Yes, it is different now and folks need to do what is best for themselves and not what people used to do many years ago. Unfortunately,there are super dangerous people in our society that prey on unarmed and defenseless citizens so better to be prepared to defend yourself than try and get a gun when its too late. You just gotta make her understand the times now, (or decide for yourself which is more important?). Good luck to you!
RainbowBob
New member
OK...first I gotta say I wonder about the lives of the "ditch the girl" crowd. They always come out in these threads - even when the OP makes it clear that isn't an option.
Fellas - he wasn't asking for advice on his love life. And why all you divorced loners think you're qualified to give such advice puzzles me.
When I first starting shooting and carrying about a year and a half ago, I had already been married to my wife for more than thirty years. Frankly - she had a fit! When I discovered these gun forums and asked for advice - guess what kind I got?
I'm still married, thank you very much, and my wife has come a long way from the initial hysteria. Although I did and said a lot of the wrong things (as Kathy Jackson outlines so well at cornered cat) - I eventually mellowed out and so did she.
When she realized I wasn't looking for a gun fight, that I wasn't interested in being a hero, and that I actually had a clue about gun safety - she began to calm down.
She still isn't crazy about the idea, but understands there are bad people out there - and a last resort is better than no resort. A recent incident at a local dog park with an antisocial thug who wanted to give me a beating because I asked him to control his puppy (who was jumping all over our grandson) really opened her eyes.
The latest big step for her was when I had to leave town for a couple of days, and she asked me to show her how to handle my newly acquired K-frame - just in case. That really melted my heart!
Mind you, she hasn't actually fired a gun yet - but I showed her how to safely clear a revolver, load it, unload it, check it, double-check it, and dry-fire it. That may seem like a baby step - and it is. But I felt so much better knowing she was willing to have a loaded gun stashed in the bedroom while I was gone - and that she had come to the realization that her life was more valuable than the life of anyone who dared to break into our home.
Next baby step: Get her to the range on a quiet weekday morning when it's not crowded and have her shoot my .22 revolver and maybe my oh-so-sweet and well-mannered K-frame.
Who knows after that? I'd love to have her sign up for a class taught by a woman for women. We'll see...
My advice to the OP: Take it slow...assure her you want to be safe - and want her to feel safe. Make it clear that any confrontation on the street will be met first by de-escalation efforts including apologies, willingness to loose face, backing off, exiting the scene, etc. Let her know that the gun comes out only when all else has failed.
Real men don't need to prove they are real men - especially to a psychopath whose opinion of you doesn't matter anyway.
Fellas - he wasn't asking for advice on his love life. And why all you divorced loners think you're qualified to give such advice puzzles me.
When I first starting shooting and carrying about a year and a half ago, I had already been married to my wife for more than thirty years. Frankly - she had a fit! When I discovered these gun forums and asked for advice - guess what kind I got?
I'm still married, thank you very much, and my wife has come a long way from the initial hysteria. Although I did and said a lot of the wrong things (as Kathy Jackson outlines so well at cornered cat) - I eventually mellowed out and so did she.
When she realized I wasn't looking for a gun fight, that I wasn't interested in being a hero, and that I actually had a clue about gun safety - she began to calm down.
She still isn't crazy about the idea, but understands there are bad people out there - and a last resort is better than no resort. A recent incident at a local dog park with an antisocial thug who wanted to give me a beating because I asked him to control his puppy (who was jumping all over our grandson) really opened her eyes.
The latest big step for her was when I had to leave town for a couple of days, and she asked me to show her how to handle my newly acquired K-frame - just in case. That really melted my heart!
Mind you, she hasn't actually fired a gun yet - but I showed her how to safely clear a revolver, load it, unload it, check it, double-check it, and dry-fire it. That may seem like a baby step - and it is. But I felt so much better knowing she was willing to have a loaded gun stashed in the bedroom while I was gone - and that she had come to the realization that her life was more valuable than the life of anyone who dared to break into our home.
Next baby step: Get her to the range on a quiet weekday morning when it's not crowded and have her shoot my .22 revolver and maybe my oh-so-sweet and well-mannered K-frame.
Who knows after that? I'd love to have her sign up for a class taught by a woman for women. We'll see...
My advice to the OP: Take it slow...assure her you want to be safe - and want her to feel safe. Make it clear that any confrontation on the street will be met first by de-escalation efforts including apologies, willingness to loose face, backing off, exiting the scene, etc. Let her know that the gun comes out only when all else has failed.
Real men don't need to prove they are real men - especially to a psychopath whose opinion of you doesn't matter anyway.
George,
I will tell you from experience that there is hope for you and your girlfriend. My wife of 34 years had always been afraid guns, not anti gun, just flat out petrified. She refused to even touch them. The story I had heard was that when she was about 10 and all of 70 pound soaking wet her Dad had her shoot a 12 ga shotgun, you can imagine what the result was.
Up until 5 months ago she had never shot a gun since I have known her. Her sister's husband and myself kept after her gently trying to convince her that if we have them in the house, she should know something about them. Finally he suggested we al sign up for a firearms safety course to qualify for a CC permit.
We took the course and she actually enjoyed it and they taught her how to handle a handgun and she now recently purchased a .38 spl Taurus 85 snubby.
I will tell you from experience that there is hope for you and your girlfriend. My wife of 34 years had always been afraid guns, not anti gun, just flat out petrified. She refused to even touch them. The story I had heard was that when she was about 10 and all of 70 pound soaking wet her Dad had her shoot a 12 ga shotgun, you can imagine what the result was.
Up until 5 months ago she had never shot a gun since I have known her. Her sister's husband and myself kept after her gently trying to convince her that if we have them in the house, she should know something about them. Finally he suggested we al sign up for a firearms safety course to qualify for a CC permit.
We took the course and she actually enjoyed it and they taught her how to handle a handgun and she now recently purchased a .38 spl Taurus 85 snubby.
Inspector3711
New member
Just be patient. I've been married for a lot of years and my wife is, well, less than enthusiastic. Then last week rolled around... 3 burglaries in our 50 house loop in a week... Odd since were borderline rural here... I guess times are tough.
Someone is targeting houses with people in them. Apparently they sneak in through unlocked doors, steal and then get out with the plan of escaping detection. Little do they know, 5 of those houses are owned by LEO's. Sooner or later they'll lose.
So far they've gotten away, and I'm not 100% sure, but I think she was comforted when I pulled the .40 out while the helicopter circled the neighborhood.
Just don't push her on it.. She'll come around.
Someone is targeting houses with people in them. Apparently they sneak in through unlocked doors, steal and then get out with the plan of escaping detection. Little do they know, 5 of those houses are owned by LEO's. Sooner or later they'll lose.
So far they've gotten away, and I'm not 100% sure, but I think she was comforted when I pulled the .40 out while the helicopter circled the neighborhood.
Just don't push her on it.. She'll come around.
emtgunnut23
New member
I say dump her. In the long run women are a lot more expensive than any hobby even firearms related stuff. jk.
At this point I would really disagree with a lot of other posters. Showing her a bunched of clipped headlines about people killed in school and work shootings seems like a bad idea. She could simply go with the argument "o all those people were killed with guns they are bad yadda yadda". Not necessarily logical, but seems like it would just start a fight if she is that antigun.
I would really emphasize how much fun it is, just going to range, not carrying not home defense or anything like that. If she is that skittish about guns let her ease into the idea of a range trip.
I did that with my girlfriend she finally got her foid card and as soon as the time is right I will have the safety talk with her and take to the range. Get her started on a .22
At this point I would really disagree with a lot of other posters. Showing her a bunched of clipped headlines about people killed in school and work shootings seems like a bad idea. She could simply go with the argument "o all those people were killed with guns they are bad yadda yadda". Not necessarily logical, but seems like it would just start a fight if she is that antigun.
I would really emphasize how much fun it is, just going to range, not carrying not home defense or anything like that. If she is that skittish about guns let her ease into the idea of a range trip.
I did that with my girlfriend she finally got her foid card and as soon as the time is right I will have the safety talk with her and take to the range. Get her started on a .22
Woodrowmag
New member
Tell her the truth regarding how you feel about guns, and why you choose to exercise your right to carry a pistol to defend yourself.
She doesn't have to like guns, nor does she have to shoot them herself. She should, however, make an effort to understand and accept your viewpoint on the matter. If she looks down on you for your choice/belief, then it is an unfortunate thing that you'll need to decide how to handle.
She doesn't have to like guns, nor does she have to shoot them herself. She should, however, make an effort to understand and accept your viewpoint on the matter. If she looks down on you for your choice/belief, then it is an unfortunate thing that you'll need to decide how to handle.
- Status