my girl friend hates guns...help?

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Ditch her!!!
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And on and on it goes with the advice from the lovelorn...

This is getting hilarious!

Not only did the OP state unequivocally that dumping the GF was NOT an option - nowhere in his post does he even imply that she had made some kind of ultimatum to get rid of his guns.
 
Usually it is the evil woman trying to steal your manhood. More often than not, it is all about control. One thing you could do is buy a gun "especially" for her. I did this with my wife, I bought her a Colt Agent back in the early 1990's and she took to it like a duck to water. She can shoot it like nobody's business. I find that it is infinitely easier to teach a woman to shoot (no macho BS to overcome). Anyway she likes to shoot, although not as much as I would like her to; she goes with me about once a year. Oh well, I like my alone range time anyway. Oh, and nothing is ever "not an option." Except maybe if you have "the cojones in the purse syndrome."
 
2. The young lady's fear is not irrational. Dealing with instruments of lethal force and training to use them is a legitimate reason to be scared. If you regard the fear as irrational - then you are part of the problem.
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I would respectfully disagree with this statement, at least as far as it pertains to my premise. Fear, by it's very definition is irrational, as it is an emotional reaction occurring entirely outside of reason. Inasmuch as it's causes can certainly be legitimate, it can be an important signal to us that we need to act, even if it does not inform our course of action. In any case, it is not a course of action unto itself.

While it is wise to show respect and caution towards such instruments, and fear is a natural response to unfamiliar dangers, reasonable people should be able to overcome fear with familiarization, while retaining a healthy respect for the hazards involved in the undertaking. An unwillingness to do so is a matter of personal choice. An inability to do so, I would submit, is most assuredly unhealthy. Caution and vigilance should never leave the practice of handling guns and I would hope this essential philosophy pervades the entire population of this forum. However, such caution does not require the continued cultivation of fear. When you retrieve your pistol from it's case at the range, do you feel fearful? I don't. Rather, I feel a solemnity of purpose appropriate to the dangers of the activity.

Retaining fear in the face of knowledge is as crippling as having no fear in the face of the unknown is dangerous.


EDIT: For the record, I am not in the "dump her" camp. While I cautioned him to be prepared for the worst, I do sincerely hope the OP is able to use the good tactics outlined above to bring his girlfriend into the fold. We need as many enlightened people in our camp as we can get and there is no more effective and dedicated advocate than a convert.
 
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Unfortunately, the large body of research on neuropsychological processes of fear and how it works is not in accord with the usual gun folk rhetoric. The bravest men can be fearful.

We have no real knowledge of the young woman's experiences, etc. We are willing to paint her as XY and Z , then we posture.

We chortle on how brave we are because we have guns.

I would counsel the young lady to go elsewhere if the OP moves into macho ultimatum mode because he wants a gun.
 
It is not a matter of need. It is a right and preference. The gun is a tool and insurance.

You must be free to exercise your choice, she should not be so controlling as to forbid your exercise of your right.
Do you forbid her from voting the way she wants?
Do you choose her clothes or her car?
Does she buy insurance?
Does she go to the doctor for preventative care?
 
Glenn said:
Unfortunately, the large body of research on neuropsychological processes of fear and how it works is not in accord with the usual gun folk rhetoric. The bravest men can be fearful.
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I'd even go a step farther, and say that the bravest men (and women) are the ones who are fearful but overcome their fear in order to do what needs doing.

I would counsel the young lady to go elsewhere if the OP moves into macho ultimatum mode because he wants a gun.
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Absolutely. As several of us have noted, if this is a reason for ultimata, or for dumping her, she'd be better off without him. I trust that won't happen, given what the OP said to begin with about not wanting to break up with her over this.

And, yes, there's a lot of posturing going on here. All the advice about dumping her is about as useful as, say, all the "Dude, just get a shotty!" posts that are liable to crop up when someone asks for advice about what handgun to buy... (And I know this comment is sort of off-topic, but, jeez, I needed to get that off my chest... :rolleyes: )
 
Unfortunately, the large body of research on neuropsychological processes of fear and how it works is not in accord with the usual gun folk rhetoric.
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Very true. However the issue the OP's girlfriend seems to have is not spontaneous fear caused by a legitimate, imminent physical threat, but pervasive fear; with the gun itself as a stimulus. This fear exists outside the context of an actual imminent danger. If it is severe enough, it is considered pathological, and we call it a phobia. It is the kind of fear that can be allayed in her mind by putting her in control of the stimulus, if she is willing. Remember, it was the OP who identified her fear as "irrational," and, as far as we know, he is the only one here who knows her personally.
I would counsel the young lady to go elsewhere if the OP moves into macho ultimatum mode because he wants a gun.
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That would be a fair course for her to take, although I don't get the sense the the OP would do any such thing. However, it does raise a question for those who councel him to abandon any thought of a breakup over this: If we deem it unreasonable for him to offer the "get okay with guns or I walk" ultimatum, why should we accept as a reasonable outcome her "get a gun and I walk" ultimatum? Because, if she does not come around to accept guns in her home, that is essentially what her answer may be.

This is where I think it fairly becomes a values test. If you see guns as merely a fun hobby with potential side benefits in the area of personal protection, her wishes will-and should-prevail. If you see guns not as sporting goods, but as essential tools of liberty*, than it wold be an evil act to allow anyone to deny you their use.

These all remain "ifs," though. We don't yet know what she will do. It is my hope that soon we get an update, and it is good news for our hero (the OP).


*Maybe if I had written "essential tools of a free citizen," it wouldn't have sounded like copy from a Libertarian pamphlet? Yeah, I guess it probably still would have.:D
 
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Am I the only one who has the feeling that most people are just reading the title of this thread and not the OP or ensuing discussion before posting?
 
Am I the only one who has the feeling that people are just reading the title of this thread and not the OP before posting?
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I hadn't thought of that...but it is the only logical explanation for the dozens of off-topic reponses.
 
Actually, I value the posts of glib, simple dismissals and ultimatums. It lets one know very quickly what some folks are all about. There's no need to glean carefully over time in threads like these.
 
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Buy her a really nice expensive gun. If that doesn't work, buy me one, I'm single ;)

Ok, on a serious note, lets say I don't like football. And I'm going out with someone who does. That really shouldn't be a problem, since we are two different people. Now, if your girlfriend wants you to not have guns because she doesn't like them, I would say you have a bigger problem than the gun vs. girlfriend one, there are some serious boundary issues there. If I was anti-gun and dating someone who was into guns, I'd want to learn as much about them as possible. Seems to me if she's scared of them she should learn to use them. Heck, she should just learn to use them because everywhere you go there are guns, and it's the responsible thing to do.
 
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first of all, what can i do or say to help her find them useful for conceal carry?
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I'd slow down so she doesn't get scared and run for the hills. First focus on gun safety. Let her shoot a .22. Start at "A" not "Z."
 
this is kinda ridiculous. his girl has no really reason to like or dislike guns and as long as she is okay with him having them that is fine. Same way my girl is. But if you really want her to get interested, go buy a pistol, and give it to her and say you won't give her bullets for it until she wants to learn how to shoot it. I gave my sister my first gun (hi point c9, i know i know im horrible) when she turned 21 and moved out. She didn't want it. Wouldn't give her any bullets for it though because I knew she would shoot herself in the foot. Well, 2 years after that she had a scare where she thought a guy was breaking into her apartment, and she immiadiatley became all about guns, called me the next day and told me she NEEDED SOME DAMN BULLETS. It was so funny because she went from disliking them to liking them in a period of about five minutes. She now shoots regularly.
 
Well in all honesty and joking apart you have to decide what is more important for you.

Is she against you owning weapons as well or its just her who does not want to have one? If former is the case then it is a problem unless she can rationally convince you that you should not have a gun. I know lot of people who dont own weapons and I cant seem to find anything wrong with their lives. In fact they are saving lots of money!

If later it the problem then it is really her decision. She can chose not to have guns. However, if you are taking this relation to the next level i.e. marriage it can be a problem since you will be restricted in spending money on guns.

Leaving her can slove your problem but is that what you are willing to do as Myer correctly puts it "for a crappy gun"?

You can take her to a shirnk for counseling so that she can overcome her stupid fear or reservations.

However, if she is bossing you around and creating problems so that you cant buy guns......its a tough call, but you have to make it. I say this because this is just not about guns then. It will in fact influence your life for rest of the time you here alive....do you want that?
 
If leaving her were an option I would advise you to stand up for yourself and your right to own a gun. However since leaving her is not an option and you did not have a scary, dangerous gun when you two first got together, you must get rid of it.

She probably thinks that you may be a dangerous psychopath, like on one of those Lifetime Channel movies or an old After School Special. You know, the kind that seem normal at first, but then turn out to have a dark, disturbed side.
 
If you really love her, then leave guns for her. However, if she really loves you she will let you enjoy something that you like.

Leaving something which is not harming your partner will end up in anxiety and break anyway...so you do the math "gunboy".
 
I'm really confused here because he hasn't addressed any of us so far. He posed the question and that is it.

I ask the OP: Why is leaving her NOT and option?

There are always options. Her fear of guns is HER problem, not yours. If you can't convince her that guns are NOT evil, are you going to give up something you love to do and succumb to HER demands that you change to suit her needs? Or, are you going to tell her that if she really cares for you she will accept you as you are? If you do the former, get ready for a lifetime of female domination, henpeckery and a cojoneless existence. The choice is yours.:confused:
 
George Fury, are you still out there? Some of us wish you well, and actually would like to know how things are going for you and your girlfriend.

Firepower! said:
...you do the math "gunboy".
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The OP posted about his situation what, twice? Asked for advice? And now we're starting to sound hostile to him? Perhaps this wasn't meant in a hostile way, but it doesn't seem like the best way to make a new member feel welcome...
 
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