But would choose a large -ish frame and not a tiny tot gun.[/QUOTE
Speaking for myself, of course, but if I'm going to tote a pistol with a "largish frame", it's going to shoot a cartridge more large than a .380.
Simple question: Would you trust your life with a .380?
I'm not interested in: if you can carry a bigger gun, then carry one. I just want to know if you, personally, would feel safe carrying a .380 only.