wife getting close to compromise with guns :)

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Sounds like you're on the right track. Hopefully as she gets a little more experience with guns she'll become more accepting. She's lucky to have a man as understanding as you seem to be. It's clear from some of the responses on this thread that not all women are so lucky! LOL :)
 
I also hope this works out well for both.
I would like to add that some say marriage is a 50/50 proposition. It is not, it is 100/100, and self-sacrificing on the part of both.

There is nothing on a human to human basis that equals such a marriage, and when each wants what is best for the other, it is peaceful and wonderful. Yes, it does require compromise at times, but that comes naturally.

Regards,
Jerry
 
This thread has been very instructive. Enlightening. I didn't realize people lived like that.

My wife knew that I was a shooter when we married. It came as no shock to her. She also trusts me enough that when I do something out of character, she may be amused, she may be disconcerted, she may even be angered, but it never threatens the relationship. If there's a problem we talk about it. But, I talk with my wife every day.

As it turns out, we're at a point in our life now where we don't have to count every penny. We're not spendthrift, but she doesn't count guns, and I don't count shoes.

The time to find out about your spouse is before the wedding. Not afterwards.
 
The time to find out about your spouse is before the wedding. Not afterwards.
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the problem with that though is I knew she didn't like guns when we were dating. What I didn't know was that I would eventually embrace guns to the point of obsession. I used to be neutral towards guns and hunting but when I started reading up on it I became fascinated. my wife didn't see this coming, nor did I.
 
Here's the "deal" ...

Garage door opener = Basic Pistol Course (the 2-day version) at the local NRA. Or better yet, completion of the Women-on-Target program.

http://www.nrahq.org/women/isc/clinics.asp

I have a wife, three daughters (and a son on his fifth deployment) and a daughter-in-law. My daughters grew up w/ guns and outshoot their husbands. My wife never grew to love them, but has no problem/much less any fear of them. My daughter-in-law started like many these days -- afraid. But YoungSon was deploying again right after they married and she saw the need to get "unafraid."

It took only a day at the local IWLA where we started w/ disassembled cartridge components, then diassembled rifles, then disassembled revolver.... then shooting a 22 bolt action, a 22 pistol, an AR-15, a Model-19 (both 38WC, 38SP+), then an M-14, then a 45ACP.

The key is starting with things in pieces and how they work. Suddenly a light goes on and there's the realization that a gun is just a slab of cheese until deliberately assembled, deliberately loaded, and deliberately (or stupidly) fired.

. . . . and that she is in charge of the whole process.

The final remark has always been "... this wasn't at all what I thought coming into this....."
 
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And the final remark has always been "... this wasn't at all what I thought coming into this....."
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part of me wishes I had a .22 rifle, so when we go to the range she won't have to experience the kick of my .270 win. I think she'd have more fun too and it's cheaper
 
Since you can't have your gun at home, reloading an making light loads is out. Do you have a buddy that would loan you a .22 RF for range days with your wife?

Tony
 
Probably not qualified to comment here, I'm a confirmed bachelor... but every woman I've been interested in has been at least receptive to guns, in most cases even liked them. I'd never put my guns before a significant other but not liking guns is, to me, a serious character flaw.
 
I'd never put my guns before a significant other but not liking guns is, to me, a serious character flaw.
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I certainly don't blame people for disliking guns. I don't know that i'd say it's a character flaw just because someone dislikes your hobby. We may not like it but it's a personal choice just like anything else. But, as has been stated many times before, I think it's our job as firearm enthusiasts to educate non-gun owners about safety, conservation and the recreational aspects of the sport. Not so long ago when the topic of guns came up my wife usually made a comment or grimace that showed pure revulsion. Now, she seems ok with it to an extent. It may not sound like much but it's a lot to me.
 
It may not sound like much but it's a lot to me.
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And that is all that really matters. What it means to you. I hope you continue to get into firearms more and more over the years as it seems like it is something that you enjoy, but it also seems like your wife is something that you enjoy as well. Keep that up.
 
I hope you continue to get into firearms more and more over the years as it seems like it is something that you enjoy, but it also seems like your wife is something that you enjoy as well. Keep that up.
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I definitely see firearms & hunting as a life-long pursuit, so my hobby isn't gonna go away anytime soon :). But more than anything it would be nice for my wife to recognize my hobby and see it as a positive rather than a negative. She can be very stubborn, but with a little bit of patience I think she'll come around
 
You must love her a lot, more power to you.

I have a few issues that are part of me. Guns is one of them. My wife didn't care for guns either, had had bad experiences. But she got the fever a bit and bought a .38 when we were dating. She insists I keep guns locked up, no problem with that. She is not the least bit nervous about me carrying when we go out.

If she had been someone adamant about no guns in the house, I don't think I could have kept dating her & for sure could not have married her. I am not a paranoid person, do not think all day of what harm someone is planning, but I like a plan of defense if needed and could not compromise on that. If we had a home invasion & she or the daughters were hurt, raped or killed, the impact is tremendous. Having that gun may have made the difference.
 
gaseous, I remember you posting about this a long time ago and talking to you in that thread.

Why do her personal feelings outweigh yours?

I don't want to sound harsh, but I could not abide by not being "allowed" to have or do something in my own home. It is your home also.

Do you think she would leave you over something like this? If not, get your gun, stash it somewhere she won't just find it, and prepare for the argument when you tell her it's been at home so you can defend your home and her if needed. Then let her deal with it- she will.

In the meantime I would also consider getting that .22 so she can enjoy it more, like you mentioned.

There comes a time when you just have to put your foot down and move on, make a decision, and not keep waiting on others to let you do something.
 
It's interesting (and I'm having a hard time understanding) not wanting a gun in the house yet being willing to go to the range. I would figure not being willing to have it in the house would be rooted in a very visceral fear.

WW2 suggested a safe - and that would be my suggestion. Would that make a difference? My wife basically doesn't like having guns around, but the fact they're in a safe and secure, and she doesn't have to encounter them, makes her much more calm about it.

OR
 
If my wife made such demands and allowed me nothing then she would not be my wife. That's not bluster, you can ask the ex, she lives in Atlanta. My wife and I live in VA.

She wants EXCLUSIVE use of the garage? She doesn't let you have your one gun in the house? THAT is INSANE.
 
I have to agree. Marriage is not a one person show, it is not about dictating demands, and the world does not revolve around one spouse or the other. I suggest marriage counseling and a gun safe with as many guns as you want in it.
 
Why do her personal feelings outweigh yours?

I don't want to sound harsh, but I could not abide by not being "allowed" to have or do something in my own home. It is your home also.
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Because I don't want her to feel resentful if I were to ignore her and bring a gun into our home if it makes her uncomfortable. The irony of this whole thing is that it has made me feel a little resentful, but i'm trying to go about this amicably. I had a conversation with her about this again lastnite. She said, "I feel uncomfortable having a gun in my house." I had to correct her and state that it's our house and that I pay half the bills. She countered by saying she doesn't like the idea of having a gun in such close proximity to where she sleeps.

Do you think she would leave you over something like this? If not, get your gun, stash it somewhere she won't just find it, and prepare for the argument when you tell her it's been at home so you can defend your home and her if needed. Then let her deal with it- she will.
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I really don't know if she'd leave me. Her and I have very different views of guns. At the same time, it seems stupid to let something like this come between us.

In the meantime I would also consider getting that .22 so she can enjoy it more, like you mentioned.
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I'm gonna push for the .22 for sure, but i'd also like to find a gun-safe solution. I'm in a weird situation because our house is incredibly small (2 bedrooms, no basement or second floor), so space is valuable.

There comes a time when you just have to put your foot down and move on, make a decision, and not keep waiting on others to let you do something.
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Yeah, I know. I just don't want to push it with her. I figure if she changes her tune about guns in the house it'll be better for both of us
 
It's interesting (and I'm having a hard time understanding) not wanting a gun in the house yet being willing to go to the range. I would figure not being willing to have it in the house would be rooted in a very visceral fear.
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you've hit the nail on the head. I know she fears guns. she associates them with violence and figures something bad will happen. she only agreed to go with me to the shooting range because I did something for her, so she's not doing it because she really wants to go.

WW2 suggested a safe - and that would be my suggestion. Would that make a difference? My wife basically doesn't like having guns around, but the fact they're in a safe and secure, and she doesn't have to encounter them, makes her much more calm about it.
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like I mentioned in an earlier thread, if I could find a solution to the space issue in my house i'd get a safe in a heartbeat.
 
You can get one of those small pistol safes that have the push button combination lock. That can go in the top of your closet.

And I think you're going about the problem pretty well. Forcing the issue past her isn't really a 'win' for you. Beating your chest like Tarzan and pushing her around verbally might make some guys feel really macho, but for the sake of your marriage you need to keep doing what you're doing. Marriage is teamwork, and it isn't always easy.
 
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