wife getting close to compromise with guns :)

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gaseousclay

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my wife was telling me the other night that she wanted a new garage door with electronic opener so that she can park her car in the garage during the winter months. The catch being that she wants exclusive use of the garage so she doesn't have to wipe snow and ice off her car. I then proposed to her a compromise - if she gets a new garage door opener and exclusive use of the garage then I get to keep my rifle at home. I told her that I know she hates guns and that I respected her feelings on the matter, but she had to meet me half-way. I just finished my hunter firearm safety course, so i'm pretty well acquainted with gun safety etiquette in the home, and that I would take every precaution. I also said I wouldn't have my gun out in her presence. She said she'd think about it for now. I know it's not a done deal but at least was had an amiable conversation about it, so I feel like i've made some progress. wish me luck :D
 
I love my wife dearly and I would certainly take reasonable steps to try to make her more knowledgeable and familiar with guns but ultimately in a guns or wife situation it would have to come down to a deal or a divorce.

Fortunately I have my wife hooked on shooting and CCW.
 
Wait you have to buy her a new garage door, and she gets to use the garage all the time so you can KEEP your one rifle? :eek:
 
then I get to keep my rifle at home
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Where else would you keep your rifle than at home? Does she realize that there are dozens of items more hazardous than an unloaded rifle in the kitchen and in the medicine cabinet? While "divorce" shouldn't enter the conversation, you definitely need to let her know where you stand and that you deserve to have your property under your roof the same as she has.
 
When I got remarried a few years ago I told my wife to be that my guns were off the table and not the least bit negotiable. I'm shooter and hunter and that's the way it is. She's been seriously pissy about me buying more guns and some days about reloading supplies. But that's another story...

Tony
 
Why dont you just one day put the rifle away somewhere in the house thats close to you, but secret enough that she wont find it. Thats completely unreasonable that you cant keep your rifle in your house. I am blown away.
 
if she gets a new garage door opener and exclusive use of the garage then I get to keep my rifle at home
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Whoooa.......... don't settle for that, tell her you want your nuts back too or the deals off !
 
I got lucky. My wife grew up in the city. She moved to Washington DC for college and then stayed there. It was a lot for her to move out of the city. That was part of the deal from the start. I told her that I would NEVER live in DC or Maryland cause the gun laws SUCK there. She understood and has no problem with me having my guns in the house. I wouldn't say I have a lot compared to most people, but more than a couple.
 
gaseousclay
wife getting close to compromise with guns :)
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Good for you. It's the little steps.

I was married to someone who was rabidly against firearms. Funny though. Around Y2K, she was more than happy for me to have my AK's in the house - just in case.

Ended up divorcing the woman. The crazy thing is that she seems to be ok that our boys shoot guns and draw bows with me. Said something about "Boys needing to do those sort of things with their father." :confused:
 
[I love my wife dearly and I would certainly take reasonable steps to try to make her more knowledgeable and familiar with guns but ultimately in a guns or wife situation it would have to come down to a deal or a divorce.]

If guns were more important than your wife then you do not love her dearly.
My wife is the most important person or thing in my life, excluding the Lord Jesus. It is no wonder there are so many divorces considering that too many marriages do not have the spouse and marriage as their highest priority.
I would suggest that if guns are more important than a marriage that one should inform the other before marriage that they are not as important as guns.

Regards,
Jerry
 
Ok Ok Ok...heres what I did when my wife took over the garage back in 2009 when she bought a new car and the Michigan winter was fast aproaching.
Ya gotta remember now, I was running my business out of our home and the garage was my warehouse. Brand new car, 2009 Nissan Altima...and my business.

Well Honey, I'm gonna have to build a place to put all my stuff if you need the garage that badly. Whats it gonna cost? Well, we will just have to add that to the cost of you having that new car.
About 8000.00 later I have an office custom built by me for me and a warehouse, all without giving her a key to it. I LOVE IT.

Now she also does not like guns....not one little bit. So that is where I keep the safe and all its treasures within. A guy has got to have his space.
 
If guns were more important than your wife then you do not love her dearly.
My wife is the most important person or thing in my life, excluding the Lord Jesus. It is no wonder there are so many divorces considering that too many marriages do not have the spouse and marriage as their highest priority.
I would suggest that if guns are more important than a marriage that one should inform the other before marriage that they are not as important as guns
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I agree with your statement. the important thing for me is the ability to compromise. At least the wife and I were able to establish dialogue about the gun issue. If she says no and decides against me bringing my rifle home then so be it. I won't force her to give in to my demands because my marriage is more important. I refuse to take the 'my way or the highway' approach when it comes to marital discourse.
 
I agree with your statement. the important thing for me is the ability to compromise. At least the wife and I were able to establish dialogue about the gun issue. If she says no and decides against me bringing my rifle home then so be it. I won't force her to give in to my demands because my marriage is more important. I refuse to take the 'my way or the highway' approach when it comes to marital discourse.
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Fine well & good. But shouldn't your wants and desires carry a bit more weight than they seem to at this time? You are trying to deal rationally with an irrational hatred. I fear it will not go well.
 
I'll list you my credentials if you'd like... or you can just take my word for it.

Your wife is being incredibly unreasonable and really seems to be enjoying having the upper hand in the relationship. You have property that you own, and aren't allowed to have in your house. "Aren't Allowed..." Meaning that someone in the situation has the power to allow and disallow you to do things. These are not indications of a fair partnership of any kind.

Furthermore, this...
If guns were more important than your wife then you do not love her dearly.
My wife is the most important person or thing in my life, excluding the Lord Jesus. It is no wonder there are so many divorces considering that too many marriages do not have the spouse and marriage as their highest priority.
I would suggest that if guns are more important than a marriage that one should inform the other before marriage that they are not as important as guns
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...completely misses the point; and borders on insulting. The central problem isn't that this man has chosen to put the importance of his love for guns over his love for his wife. The central problem is that his wife isn't taking what matters to him NEARLY as seriously as he is taking into account what matters to her. Everything then spirals outward from this.

You've allowed her to be head of the relationship; which is fine. Different things work for different people. But if you don't like the sound of that, or aren't happy with where you are, I can tell you that it probably won't be getting better any time soon. What incentive does she have to change? She's already in charge of the house. Things go her way without much discourse. You can't always wait around to find something that she wants badly enough to use it as a bargaining chip; just to be treated fairly for once. You need to be in a relationship where someone loves you for who you are In The First Place, and supports you in your endevours because they want more than to be happy; they want YOU to be happy. Otherwise, the love you feel for her now will sooner or later be replaced with resentment at having to repress what makes you happy as an individual, instead of just the half of a couple that you are.

There's a reason dictatorships don't work. And it's because they don't listen to the feelings and needs of those they are intended to represent. Dictators don't have a good track record; in power or in "retirement".

I hope this helps you.
~LT
 
the important thing for me is the ability to compromise.
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I'm sorry but from what you have explained it doesn't sound like a compromise to me. To me a compromise is taking one situation and coming to an agreement in the middle. Something like okay, you can keep the rifle but promise me you will be safe and lock it up each time when you are done. Not, give me what I want or it's bye bye rifle.
 
Something like okay, you can keep the rifle but promise me you will be safe and lock it up each time when you are done. Not, give me what I want or it's bye bye rifle.
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In Behavioral Psychology, we call that "Negative Punishment".

In an attempt to decrease the likelihood of a behavior occurring in the future, an operant response is followed by the removal of an appetitive stimulus.
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It's also known as a "Training Tool".

~LT
 
Good luck! Good for you for being an good partner in your marriage as well!

By the way did you ever go hunting?

If I remember right, the OP got into guns after he got married...
 
I made sure my wife loved the same things I care about in life. Just brogut a new colt home, all she said was I need to take the class and get my permit so I can have one of those :) she also rides her own motorcycle and has her own gun.

Oil and vinegar will separate in the end.
 
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