While scrubbing up, I have to consider my home defense plan.
First, an intruder on foot would have to find my house that has been strategically place inside a 40 area hedge maze. If they found there way through that, they would encounter the barbed wire that I have encircling my house.
Then there are the tigers. I know a lot of people like guard dogs, but they are too easily distracted by tennis balls. I have my tigers trained to attack any living thing unless given a special command word. I chose a word from the language of aboriginal Australians so someone doesn't get lucky and guess it.
After that, I have steel safe doors at all my house's entrances. The windows are decommissioned submarine portholes.
For attacks from helicopters or powerful trampolines, the roof of my house is a grease fountain. The grease continuously runs down the shingles making it impossible to stand there and attempt to cut into my home through the roof.
Inside, I've chosen to make my entire house a mirror maze. You have to make 16 turns just to get out of the foyer.
If you do make to past the hedges, barbed wire, tigers, grease, and mirrors, you'll be greeted by my full-time ninja/butler named Jenkins. He's 6'3" and 275 lbs. He has Olympic gold metals in two different summer events and three winter events. He only eats human flesh.
So, to make a long story short, I don't keep a gun in the bathroom.