Hey Hoss,
Welcome to the forum. Lots of knowledge here, but also lots of differing opinions. I will share my opinion and the reasons behind them.
Size: If your primary use is home defense and having in the car, you can go with a larger gun as you have noted. A bigger gun is easier to shoot as there is more gun to hold on to. the recoil forces will be spread out more and you can get a good, firm two-handed grip on the gun. I'd say a "compact size" makes a lot of sense as it is more versatile than a full size. Compact guns are around Glock 19 or Sig P229 size, and can be used for concealed carry if you choose to do so later on. Full sized guns, like Glock 17 or Sig P226 are harder to conceal carry
Trigger Type: You mentioned guns with three different trigger types. The Hellcat Pro and Canik are striker fired guns (like Glock) and pulling the trigger fully cocks the partially cocked striker and releases it. The trigger pull is consistent from shot to shot, but most don't have manual safeties. The most important safety is between your ears (your brain), so that should not be an issue. A manual safety is something that you may forget to disengage when the poop hits the fan and your adrenaline dumps.
The Sig P229/P226 and Beretta 92 type guns are double action/single action (typically abbreviated as DA/SA or referred to as crunch tickers). The Beretta has a manual safety that also acts as a decocker. The first shot is long and heavy as it cocks the hammer back for the first pull. Each subsequent pull is short and light until the gun is decocked (hammer is lowered without firing a round). The Sig P228 was my first gun. While they are great guns, I don't recommend DA/SA guns and won't carry one. The long and heavy trigger pulls is supposed to act as a safety, but it makes it harder to be fast and accurate with the first shot. Some will say it just takes practice, but a consistent shot to shot trigger is better in my opinion.
The last trigger type you mentioned was a 1911. In my opinion, 1911s are not great beginner's guns. The trigger is a single action only (trypically abbreviated as SAO) and only works if the trigger is cocked back. The trigger pull is usually fairly short and light with 1911s. While this is great for the range, it probably isn't ideal for newer shooters in a home defense scenario. 1911s tend to need more maintenance than polymer striker fired guns and they need to be well lubricated to run reliably. Many polymer striker-fired guns will go thousands of rounds between cleanings without so much as a hiccup.
Optic: Optics have become extremely popular and I believe I have optics mounted on my carry gun. You should learn to shoot with iron sights just in case your optic goes down, but optics make aiming more precise and faster in my opinion. With iron sights, you focus on the front sight and align the rear sight so the front sight is centered and level with the rear sight. The focus is on the front sight rather than the target. While people can be very accurate with iron sights, simply super imposing a red dot over the target is much easier. You can clearly see the target and your focus is on the target. I had concerns with reliability and the whole "Murphy's Law" argument, but Holosun makes optics with solar panels on top, which eliminates the battery concern. Again, you should learn to use irons, but those are now a back up for me. I shoot a lot and dry-fire often, so I check my optic frequently.
Caliber: The FBI and most police agencies have gone back to the 9mm. It is an effective round with good ammo and good shot placement. Recoil is mild and ammo is cheaper than other center-fire ammo and usually easy to find. The smaller size means more rounds fit in the magazine compared to larger calibers.
I know that I have thrown a ton of information in one post. If I had to consolidate it down to short recommendation, I'd suggest a compact striker fired gun with a polymer frame with an optic cut and no manual safety. Guns that fit in this category include the Glock 19, Sig P320 (carry size), Springfield Armory XDM Elite, Heckler & Kock VP9 Compact, Walther PDP Compact, CZ P10C, and others.
Based on what I have and what I have shot, I really like the Springfield Armory XDM Elite. It has a GREAT trigger and the added benefit of a grip safety in addition to the trigger. They are discontinued and being replaced bySpringfield Armory's version of the Sig P320, the Echelon. While the Echelon is a great gun, there isn't that many accessories out for it yet.
https://www.sportsmansoutdoorsuperstore.com/products2.cfm/ID/282121
https://www.guns.com/firearms/handg...AvantLink&utm_campaign=35987&utm_medium=df_NA
The first link is for the compact which holds 14+1. The grip is slightly smaller but it is cut for an optic and in 9mm. Hope this helps!