Bruce in West Oz
New member
A fella is out in the woods, hunting rabbits with his trusty .22, when he spies a giant, trophy-size black bear, not 25 yards away. He's undergunned, but it's so close, so he throws the .22 to his shoulder, aims, and lets fly. The bear drops on the spot.
He pushes through the woods to claim his trophy -- but the bear's gone. Puzzled, he looks around -- and a great, hairy paw reaches over, snatched the .22 and bends it into a pretzel. It's the bear -- totally unharmed.
'All right,' says the bear. 'You're gonna have to be punished. Drop your pants and undies and lie face down over that log.'
After the bear has had his wicked way with the hapless hunter, he disappears into the woods.
Mortified -- and more than a little sore -- our hunter races home. He wrenches the old 'thutty-thutty' off the wall and heads back into the woods.
Sure enough, he spies the bear again. He knows it's the same bear because of the big, satisfied grin on its face. He stalks closer -- 100 yards, 70 yards, 40 yards -- he can't miss.
Two quick shots, as fast as he can work the action, and the bear drops on the spot.
'Got you!' our hunter cries.
But before he can move, he hears a noise behind him. He turns fearfully, and there's the bear -- untouched -- rearing up on his back legs, teeth bared. Terrified, the hunter drops his rifle.
'You again!' says the bear. 'OK, you know the drill -- drop the pants and the undies and bend over and grasp your ankles.'
Two hours later our friend the hunter is back in the woods, with his brand new Rigby .416 double, loaded, cocked and ready to roar.
He finds the bear asleep, under a tree. Carefully, he lines up and lets both barrels rip at once! When the smoke clears, there's no sign of the bear.
Then there's a gentle tap on his shoulder. fearfully he turns to find -- the bear, unharmed.
'Look,' says the bear, not unkindly, as the trembling hunter begins to undo his trousers for the third time. 'Be honest with me -- you're not really in this just for the hunting, are you?'
He pushes through the woods to claim his trophy -- but the bear's gone. Puzzled, he looks around -- and a great, hairy paw reaches over, snatched the .22 and bends it into a pretzel. It's the bear -- totally unharmed.
'All right,' says the bear. 'You're gonna have to be punished. Drop your pants and undies and lie face down over that log.'
After the bear has had his wicked way with the hapless hunter, he disappears into the woods.
Mortified -- and more than a little sore -- our hunter races home. He wrenches the old 'thutty-thutty' off the wall and heads back into the woods.
Sure enough, he spies the bear again. He knows it's the same bear because of the big, satisfied grin on its face. He stalks closer -- 100 yards, 70 yards, 40 yards -- he can't miss.
Two quick shots, as fast as he can work the action, and the bear drops on the spot.
'Got you!' our hunter cries.
But before he can move, he hears a noise behind him. He turns fearfully, and there's the bear -- untouched -- rearing up on his back legs, teeth bared. Terrified, the hunter drops his rifle.
'You again!' says the bear. 'OK, you know the drill -- drop the pants and the undies and bend over and grasp your ankles.'
Two hours later our friend the hunter is back in the woods, with his brand new Rigby .416 double, loaded, cocked and ready to roar.
He finds the bear asleep, under a tree. Carefully, he lines up and lets both barrels rip at once! When the smoke clears, there's no sign of the bear.
Then there's a gentle tap on his shoulder. fearfully he turns to find -- the bear, unharmed.
'Look,' says the bear, not unkindly, as the trembling hunter begins to undo his trousers for the third time. 'Be honest with me -- you're not really in this just for the hunting, are you?'