The original post, more than anything, screams out that the individual needs some basic gun education and experience. The post is filled with misinformation, but everyone needs to start somewhere. With training and practice, a shotgun can be a very effective home defense firearm, and when you consider how long it will take him to get the necessary permits to buy and then practice with a handgun, a short barreled shotgun makes the most sense.
I strongly recommend asking friends, relatives and co-workers about helping you get at least the basics so that you can feel reasonably confident about having that shotgun under or next to your bed. But whatever you do, do not neglect securing that gun. The likelihood of you actually needing it to defend your family is likely very low, but leaving a loaded gun around a house with children, and maybe other children who come to play with yours, is a recipe for disaster. If you believe you have properly prepared your children and that they will never, ever go get Daddy's gun to show a new friend, or play with, etc., you are naive and dangerous.
Once you get the permit to own a handgun, I concur with the recommendation for a good 4" barrel 357 revolver, or at least a 38+p revolver. Not only is it easier to fire, absolutely reliable (assuming you get a quality brand such as S&W or Ruger) with factory ammo, but with an inexpensive small safe secured inside your dresser or closet you can get the best of both worlds: the gun is secure from children and visitors of all types, and is quickly accessible for you and your wife (she needs training as well). Have a good flashlight next to the gun, or get a gun with a rail to which a light can be attached. Then practice and practice and practice. Also, develop a home defense plan, so that when that crash occurs in the dark of night, everyone in the family knows exactly where to go and who is to do what.