Poor grip or technique leading to excessive recoil.....with the aluminum j-frames ? NONSENSE. Poor grip or weak hands can make it WORSE - but the recoil from the 442 and 642 (among other models) is STOUT to begin with. Soft, spongy rubber grips will help - but the little suckers still produce alot of recoil.
My recommendation is to avoid the "Airweight", "Airlite", etc. models of the Smith & Wesson J-frames - and get a STEEL-framed J-frame - like the model 60. Definitely more expensive, no doubt (that was always my objection, until I experienced what I describe above, then I got over it). A J-frame of 21 oz. (empty) or more, vs. one of 11.5, 13, or even 15 oz. will make a HUGE difference. FAR, FAR more comfortable to shoot - which means you'll actually practice with it - rather than avoiding it because it hurts.
If you want simply a carry gun and can't afford a steel smith & wesson, the Taurus model 85 or 605 is not bad.....and much cheaper. Get the stainless model, not the black oxide finish (the black oxide ones rust like crazy). The stainless 85 is about 21 oz. empty....and the 605 is about 24 oz. empty.
But, if you can afford it, your best bet would be an S&W model 60. I finally found a late-80's model 60-3, with a somewhat beaten up finish, for $400. Mechanically perfect. A stainless gun is easy to "refinish" - I simply buffed out the handling/ holster marks. Looks nearly new. I carry it almost every day.