You may be a gun nut if...
- Thread starter TX_RGR
- Start date
If you heat up the gun oil before you apply it, so your guns don't get a chill...
If you have furry gun rugs and cases for your weapons, so they are comfortable and warm...
If you sleep in the same room as your guns, so they are not lonely...
If you check on your guns just like (or instead of) your children...
If you touch your guns before you touch your wife...
If you have ever become aroused looking at guns or thinking of your next purchase (c'mon, guys, be honest)...
you MIGHT be a gun nut!
If you have furry gun rugs and cases for your weapons, so they are comfortable and warm...
If you sleep in the same room as your guns, so they are not lonely...
If you check on your guns just like (or instead of) your children...
If you touch your guns before you touch your wife...
If you have ever become aroused looking at guns or thinking of your next purchase (c'mon, guys, be honest)...
you MIGHT be a gun nut!
You know, I wonder if there is a "gun fetish" out there, never really researched it, don't really want to either
.I don't get "aroused" but I do get that "poopy feeling" of excitment. You know, you pick up something that you like so much that you could just **** (the **** = Poop
).Wayne
72virgin's Steelydan
Inactive
Gun nut no. I'm just a steel, wood, and polymer phile.
You may be a gun nut if,
If you dream of hitting the lottery so you can have a gun vault and full range with instructers in your new house.
If you have a box filled with old holsters for every gun you've ever owned.
If you have ever had a fight with your wife, because she asked if you love your guns more than her and you hesitated.
If you have to throw away a whole milk crate of gun magazines every five years, because you have allready read them to memory.
If you avoid certain people or towns for fear you may loose your permit by using it.
If you have ever been stopped by an airport screener, because you forgot one bullet deep in the bag, and your wife brings it up at every vacation.
If you're affraid of dying because they may not have any guns in heaven.
Let me stop now before it gets too weird.
Let the terrorists come here, and we'll all be beloved, because we are armed.
You may be a gun nut if,
If you dream of hitting the lottery so you can have a gun vault and full range with instructers in your new house.
If you have a box filled with old holsters for every gun you've ever owned.
If you have ever had a fight with your wife, because she asked if you love your guns more than her and you hesitated.
If you have to throw away a whole milk crate of gun magazines every five years, because you have allready read them to memory.
If you avoid certain people or towns for fear you may loose your permit by using it.
If you have ever been stopped by an airport screener, because you forgot one bullet deep in the bag, and your wife brings it up at every vacation.
If you're affraid of dying because they may not have any guns in heaven.
Let me stop now before it gets too weird.
Let the terrorists come here, and we'll all be beloved, because we are armed.
clintpup, I think your taking this a little to far.
I will be the first one to agree that I have taken the gun thing maybe a little to far, but thinking about guns more than women?
WELL thats just going to far.
I mean just becouse the curve on the stock of my 700 Rem does resemble a womans lower thigh,
And the round curve of the but on a ruger single action does,,,,,,,,,,
NOW WAIT A MINUTE< STOP THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will be the first one to agree that I have taken the gun thing maybe a little to far, but thinking about guns more than women?
WELL thats just going to far.
I mean just becouse the curve on the stock of my 700 Rem does resemble a womans lower thigh,
And the round curve of the but on a ruger single action does,,,,,,,,,,
NOW WAIT A MINUTE< STOP THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You MIGHT be a gun nut?
If, upon seeing you enter your local Wal-Mart, the guy behind the counter automatically starts setting boxes of the right caliber and in the right quantity on the counter......
If you've ever been asked not IF but HOW MANY guns you have concealed about your person.....
If you've ever had to get buckets of water from the neighbor for a week because the water bill got in the way of that gun purchase....
If people constantly ask you what that weird smell is, and you tell them its gunpowder.....
If members of the local police department look forward to comming over to your house on their days off to shoot YOUR guns.....
EDIT: Forgot one!
If you've ever forgot to pick up your wife at work because you were on TFL all day.....
If, upon seeing you enter your local Wal-Mart, the guy behind the counter automatically starts setting boxes of the right caliber and in the right quantity on the counter......
If you've ever been asked not IF but HOW MANY guns you have concealed about your person.....
If you've ever had to get buckets of water from the neighbor for a week because the water bill got in the way of that gun purchase....
If people constantly ask you what that weird smell is, and you tell them its gunpowder.....
If members of the local police department look forward to comming over to your house on their days off to shoot YOUR guns.....
EDIT: Forgot one!
If you've ever forgot to pick up your wife at work because you were on TFL all day.....
Got this off an old post by Bruce From West Oz :God, I love this thread!!
We all know the "You might be a redneck if ....", but here's one a touch more appropriate.
You might be a gun nut if ...
... you ever seriously thought about dabbing on a little Hoppe's #9 before going out on a date.
...you buy some checkering tools, you checker all your gun stocks, and then start on the bedposts.
...you cannot recall how many firearms you own.
...you ever clean a gun that hasn't been shot in the week since you cleaned it last.
...you consider naming your unborn child Winchester or Remington.
...you strip all the paint off your car and refinish it with cold blue.
...you have more than one gun that "kills on both ends."
...you take your guns out of the safe each night and handle them, just so you can wipe them off before putting them away.
...you keep a loaded gun hidden in every room in the house, including the bathroom and kitchen, "just in case," and then keep one on you at all times just in case someone breaks in while you're in the hallway.
...you named your pocket pistol "Little Guy" and your 12 gauge "Big Jake."
...you own reloading dies for calibers that you do not shoot.
...you understand Smith & Wesson's model numbers.
...you ever bought two brands of the same weight and type of bullet, just to see if one "shot better."
...you keep a collection of different cartridges at your place of work as a "conversation piece."
...you take your wife on vacation to a gun show for your 10th Anniversary and she is as excited to go as you are.
...you read that "Brady II" would outlaw possession of more than 1,000 rounds of ammunition and think, "I have more than that rolling around loose in the trunk of my car!"
...watching The Lion King gives you the itch for a .470 Nitro Express.
... while watching the movie Terminator 2, you have to leave the room in tears and mournful sobs after Arnold Schwartzenneger throws the CAR-16 off the moving tractor trailer and it goes bouncing away.
...four local gun shops know you by name.
...you have your own BATF agent (mounted any suitable way).
...you have more gunpowder stashed in your home than your local sporting goods store has on hand.
...you can wallpaper your house with old issues of Shotgun News, Gun List, Guns & Ammo, etc.
...you have Brownells on speed dial.
...the custom door lock pulls on your Jeep are .223 Rem cases and the gear shift knob is a .50 BMG.
...Your cat is named Mauser and your dog is Luger.
...Your computer passwords are gun-related.
...Your local gunsmith calls you for obsolete parts.
...You have an open account with Federal, Hornady, Cor-Bon, Winchester and
Remington.
...Your personalised license plate is 3006 AP, Glock, or MAG-58.
...You read to your kids from GUN DIGEST at bed time.
...Your kids know every fast food place around gunshops and ranges within 100 miles of home.
...Your kids cried watching BAMBI when the hunter shot Bambi's mother because the hunter had filled his tag.
...Your kid thinks the seasons are SMALL GAME and DEER.
...You think John Moses Browning's birthday should be a national holiday.
...You have reloading presses for every caliber you shoot, so you don't have to take time to change dies.
...You have a standing order for 5,000 primers every week at the local gunshop.
...You put in a loading dock at your home so you could buy ammo by the semi load.
...You can't put your car in the garage because it is filled with buckets of wheel weights and lead ingots.
...When you went to the Grand Canyon you were trying to figure the amount of hold-over you would need to hit the other side.
...You watch movies just to identify the guns used in them.
...Your doorbell does not chime, it plays a burst of machinegun fire.
...You know the range of every tree in the neighbourhood.
...You have windchimes made from shell casings.
...All your belts are made by holstermakers.
...You have COLT and 1911 tatooed on your fingers
...There was a major riot in your city -- and the cops came to you for supplies.
...You have decided you could never move because you could not get your gun safes out of the basement.
...You have burn scars from hot brass hitting you.
...Your toilet air fresheners smell like Cordite.
...you have Trijicon Night-Lights in your bedroom.
...your mailbox has a Weaver Rail on top.
...you build a gun rack in your bedroom and it's closer to you than your wife.
...you can identify gunshots from far away as to caliber, whether from a rifle or pistol, brand of gun, grains of powder used, *what* powder and at what velocity.
...when you do the wash, several spent casings fall out of your rolled-up sleeves.
...you name your first-born girl LadySmith.
...your kid's disposable diapers come in camo battle packs.
...it bothers you more when 007 runs out of ammo than when the BOND girl dies.
...your driver's license says "must wear night-vision goggles."
...you put a Hogue Grip on your car's parking brake.
...you retrofit a laser sight to your TV remote control.
...you go to a marriage counselor, he asks you which you like better, shooting or sex, and you think it's the stupidest question you've ever heard.
...you have to run out to the range this weekend to shoot up some ammo because you need some brass to reload.
...seeing Bill Clinton's picture automatically sends you into Condition Orange.
...you live in that serious part of the country where deer season is a recognized holiday.
...you watch old WWII movies and can identify all the rifles and handguns, but can't remember who starred in the movie or what it was about.
... when you hear or see the numbers 221 you automatically think "fireball," 257 you think "Roberts," 218 "Bee," 45-70 "government," etc., -- and can't stop.
...you wonder what size rings you would need to mount the Hubble Space Telescope on a varmint rifle.
...your bridal registry is at the local gun shop.
...you actually consider buying the camo sexy underwear advertised for your sweetie in some gun catalogs.
...you have framed targets hanging in your bathroom, hallway, or at work, etc. with tight groups that you have shot.
...Your speedometer is in both MPH and FPS.
...You measure things in MOA.
...You cut out your best groups and carry them in your wallet like photographs.
...You ever asked anybody if they wanted to see a photograph of your pride and joy and you were not speaking about your newborn child but your latest custom firearm.
...You ever seasoned a steak with FFFFg black powder.
...Your homeowners insurance company would cancel your policy if they ever knew any of the following:
(1) the true value of your firearms
(2) how much ammunition you have stored at home
(3) how much gun powder you have stored
(4) how many primers you have.
...Your brass tumbler is made from a small cement mixer.
...You ever put dirty patches in a "delicate" bag so you could run them thru the washer.
...You always thought "Dirty Harry" was a wimp and did not use enough gun.
...You watch SCI-FI movies and try to figure what they made the blast rifles from.
...You really DO have a gun or ammunition buried in your back yard.
...You have figured out how to defend your neighborhood with your guns (and with whom) in case Y2K turns out the lights.
...You look at a very small object 150 yards away, and wish you had a sniper rifle.
...You bought a home theatre system just to make the gunfights in movies sound more realistic
..You automaticallly count shots fired in a movie scene and then replay to prove it.
...You have a missing tooth shooting skeet with a pistol grip 12 ga.
... You use shooting clays as ashtrays.
...You get tennis elbow from yanking the handle on your reloader.
...You spend a night actually counting the number of grains of powder in one of your reloads.
...You made a necklace for your wife out of spent bullets and fishing line.
...You use loaded rounds for earplugs when there is nothing else to use.
...You wear your prescription shooting glasses ALL of the time.
...You make the local police nervous because you always stare at their gun.
...You read all of the gun mags and actually understand all of the technical drivel.
I freely admit these aren't original -- but they're a hell of a lot of fun!
OK, be honest (or "'fess up" as you might say) -- how many actually apply to you? I got up to six before I stopped
Bruce
We all know the "You might be a redneck if ....", but here's one a touch more appropriate.
You might be a gun nut if ...
... you ever seriously thought about dabbing on a little Hoppe's #9 before going out on a date.
...you buy some checkering tools, you checker all your gun stocks, and then start on the bedposts.
...you cannot recall how many firearms you own.
...you ever clean a gun that hasn't been shot in the week since you cleaned it last.
...you consider naming your unborn child Winchester or Remington.
...you strip all the paint off your car and refinish it with cold blue.
...you have more than one gun that "kills on both ends."
...you take your guns out of the safe each night and handle them, just so you can wipe them off before putting them away.
...you keep a loaded gun hidden in every room in the house, including the bathroom and kitchen, "just in case," and then keep one on you at all times just in case someone breaks in while you're in the hallway.
...you named your pocket pistol "Little Guy" and your 12 gauge "Big Jake."
...you own reloading dies for calibers that you do not shoot.
...you understand Smith & Wesson's model numbers.
...you ever bought two brands of the same weight and type of bullet, just to see if one "shot better."
...you keep a collection of different cartridges at your place of work as a "conversation piece."
...you take your wife on vacation to a gun show for your 10th Anniversary and she is as excited to go as you are.
...you read that "Brady II" would outlaw possession of more than 1,000 rounds of ammunition and think, "I have more than that rolling around loose in the trunk of my car!"
...watching The Lion King gives you the itch for a .470 Nitro Express.
... while watching the movie Terminator 2, you have to leave the room in tears and mournful sobs after Arnold Schwartzenneger throws the CAR-16 off the moving tractor trailer and it goes bouncing away.
...four local gun shops know you by name.
...you have your own BATF agent (mounted any suitable way).
...you have more gunpowder stashed in your home than your local sporting goods store has on hand.
...you can wallpaper your house with old issues of Shotgun News, Gun List, Guns & Ammo, etc.
...you have Brownells on speed dial.
...the custom door lock pulls on your Jeep are .223 Rem cases and the gear shift knob is a .50 BMG.
...Your cat is named Mauser and your dog is Luger.
...Your computer passwords are gun-related.
...Your local gunsmith calls you for obsolete parts.
...You have an open account with Federal, Hornady, Cor-Bon, Winchester and
Remington.
...Your personalised license plate is 3006 AP, Glock, or MAG-58.
...You read to your kids from GUN DIGEST at bed time.
...Your kids know every fast food place around gunshops and ranges within 100 miles of home.
...Your kids cried watching BAMBI when the hunter shot Bambi's mother because the hunter had filled his tag.
...Your kid thinks the seasons are SMALL GAME and DEER.
...You think John Moses Browning's birthday should be a national holiday.
...You have reloading presses for every caliber you shoot, so you don't have to take time to change dies.
...You have a standing order for 5,000 primers every week at the local gunshop.
...You put in a loading dock at your home so you could buy ammo by the semi load.
...You can't put your car in the garage because it is filled with buckets of wheel weights and lead ingots.
...When you went to the Grand Canyon you were trying to figure the amount of hold-over you would need to hit the other side.
...You watch movies just to identify the guns used in them.
...Your doorbell does not chime, it plays a burst of machinegun fire.
...You know the range of every tree in the neighbourhood.
...You have windchimes made from shell casings.
...All your belts are made by holstermakers.
...You have COLT and 1911 tatooed on your fingers
...There was a major riot in your city -- and the cops came to you for supplies.
...You have decided you could never move because you could not get your gun safes out of the basement.
...You have burn scars from hot brass hitting you.
...Your toilet air fresheners smell like Cordite.
...you have Trijicon Night-Lights in your bedroom.
...your mailbox has a Weaver Rail on top.
...you build a gun rack in your bedroom and it's closer to you than your wife.
...you can identify gunshots from far away as to caliber, whether from a rifle or pistol, brand of gun, grains of powder used, *what* powder and at what velocity.
...when you do the wash, several spent casings fall out of your rolled-up sleeves.
...you name your first-born girl LadySmith.
...your kid's disposable diapers come in camo battle packs.
...it bothers you more when 007 runs out of ammo than when the BOND girl dies.
...your driver's license says "must wear night-vision goggles."
...you put a Hogue Grip on your car's parking brake.
...you retrofit a laser sight to your TV remote control.
...you go to a marriage counselor, he asks you which you like better, shooting or sex, and you think it's the stupidest question you've ever heard.
...you have to run out to the range this weekend to shoot up some ammo because you need some brass to reload.
...seeing Bill Clinton's picture automatically sends you into Condition Orange.
...you live in that serious part of the country where deer season is a recognized holiday.
...you watch old WWII movies and can identify all the rifles and handguns, but can't remember who starred in the movie or what it was about.
... when you hear or see the numbers 221 you automatically think "fireball," 257 you think "Roberts," 218 "Bee," 45-70 "government," etc., -- and can't stop.
...you wonder what size rings you would need to mount the Hubble Space Telescope on a varmint rifle.
...your bridal registry is at the local gun shop.
...you actually consider buying the camo sexy underwear advertised for your sweetie in some gun catalogs.
...you have framed targets hanging in your bathroom, hallway, or at work, etc. with tight groups that you have shot.
...Your speedometer is in both MPH and FPS.
...You measure things in MOA.
...You cut out your best groups and carry them in your wallet like photographs.
...You ever asked anybody if they wanted to see a photograph of your pride and joy and you were not speaking about your newborn child but your latest custom firearm.
...You ever seasoned a steak with FFFFg black powder.
...Your homeowners insurance company would cancel your policy if they ever knew any of the following:
(1) the true value of your firearms
(2) how much ammunition you have stored at home
(3) how much gun powder you have stored
(4) how many primers you have.
...Your brass tumbler is made from a small cement mixer.
...You ever put dirty patches in a "delicate" bag so you could run them thru the washer.
...You always thought "Dirty Harry" was a wimp and did not use enough gun.
...You watch SCI-FI movies and try to figure what they made the blast rifles from.
...You really DO have a gun or ammunition buried in your back yard.
...You have figured out how to defend your neighborhood with your guns (and with whom) in case Y2K turns out the lights.
...You look at a very small object 150 yards away, and wish you had a sniper rifle.
...You bought a home theatre system just to make the gunfights in movies sound more realistic
..You automaticallly count shots fired in a movie scene and then replay to prove it.
...You have a missing tooth shooting skeet with a pistol grip 12 ga.
... You use shooting clays as ashtrays.
...You get tennis elbow from yanking the handle on your reloader.
...You spend a night actually counting the number of grains of powder in one of your reloads.
...You made a necklace for your wife out of spent bullets and fishing line.
...You use loaded rounds for earplugs when there is nothing else to use.
...You wear your prescription shooting glasses ALL of the time.
...You make the local police nervous because you always stare at their gun.
...You read all of the gun mags and actually understand all of the technical drivel.
I freely admit these aren't original -- but they're a hell of a lot of fun!
OK, be honest (or "'fess up" as you might say) -- how many actually apply to you? I got up to six before I stopped
Bruce
Psalm 144:1
New member
Bought a
nice new gun rug and lanyard for my 1911A, and my wife got a litle jealous,saying" OH, now you`re buying it clothes and jewelry!" I guess I qualify...
nice new gun rug and lanyard for my 1911A, and my wife got a litle jealous,saying" OH, now you`re buying it clothes and jewelry!" I guess I qualify...
rangermonroe
New member
Well....Had the mailman ask for recommendation of a potential gun purchase.
308Enfield
New member
If as a PhD student one of your professors e-mails you asking for range information (yep, happened a couple of months ago)
If you're a techie for a living but know firearms well enough you fit in with cops (this fits me)
If you're IN a wedding and the groom gives you a count of weapons being carried at the ceremony (yep, last summer)
If big chain sporting goods stores frustrate you because they rarely have people at the gun counter who understand your questions much less can answer them (privately owned local stores are the only way to go)
If you and your Dad went pistol shopping for Mom's Christmas present (nothing like a nice .40 cal under the tree)
If you're a techie for a living but know firearms well enough you fit in with cops (this fits me)
If you're IN a wedding and the groom gives you a count of weapons being carried at the ceremony (yep, last summer)
If big chain sporting goods stores frustrate you because they rarely have people at the gun counter who understand your questions much less can answer them (privately owned local stores are the only way to go)
If you and your Dad went pistol shopping for Mom's Christmas present (nothing like a nice .40 cal under the tree)
Alaskanmonte
New member
You know you're a gun nut when.....
Your gun buddies ask you why you have three of the same gun, in the same caliber, at the same time. (If I find what I like I stick with it)
Your gun buddies ask you why you have three of the same gun, in the same caliber, at the same time. (If I find what I like I stick with it)
Garand Guy
New member
you might be a gun nut if
Your kitchen doesn't have enough food to feed a mouse, but you have $5000 in ammo on the closet shelf.
You can make a snare out of a rifle sling.
You never met a pretty gun you didn't like.
You take a day off work to go to a gun show.
Someone can call you a "gun nut", and you don't get offended.
You arrange the ammo on your closet shelf by caliber, manufacturer, bullet wieght and price.
Your wallet has more pictures of your guns than your kids.
Someone refers to a shotgun wedding and you ask, "What Model?"
You have two types on magazines on the back of the toilet: "Guns & Ammo" and a high capacity .45
You think the 11th Commandment is "Thou Shall Not Work During Deer Season."
You try to use your hunting license fee as a tax deduction.
You guys really nailed me with everything you said. Keep it up: I'm finding out more about myself every minute.
Your kitchen doesn't have enough food to feed a mouse, but you have $5000 in ammo on the closet shelf.
You can make a snare out of a rifle sling.
You never met a pretty gun you didn't like.
You take a day off work to go to a gun show.
Someone can call you a "gun nut", and you don't get offended.
You arrange the ammo on your closet shelf by caliber, manufacturer, bullet wieght and price.
Your wallet has more pictures of your guns than your kids.
Someone refers to a shotgun wedding and you ask, "What Model?"
You have two types on magazines on the back of the toilet: "Guns & Ammo" and a high capacity .45
You think the 11th Commandment is "Thou Shall Not Work During Deer Season."
You try to use your hunting license fee as a tax deduction.
You guys really nailed me with everything you said. Keep it up: I'm finding out more about myself every minute.
Rangefinder
New member
If you've ever been held up at the airport because you had used your carry on bag as a range bag the day before.
If opening the door on any vehicle you own is accompanied by the sound of brass falling out.
Jeezus, if this doesn't hit the nail on the head... LOL Spent over an hour in questioning in SLC because there was traces of nitrate chemical or some-such(powder residue) on the grab handle and zipper of my bag.
You might be a gun nut if....
--someone mentions a particular weapon and you name what grain bullet you prefer along with what make, the grains of which type of powder you load it with, and the performances proven by what's on your range-card...
--said range card is in a quick reference version in your wallet right between your NRA membership card and AHA card.
If opening the door on any vehicle you own is accompanied by the sound of brass falling out.
Jeezus, if this doesn't hit the nail on the head... LOL Spent over an hour in questioning in SLC because there was traces of nitrate chemical or some-such(powder residue) on the grab handle and zipper of my bag.
You might be a gun nut if....
--someone mentions a particular weapon and you name what grain bullet you prefer along with what make, the grains of which type of powder you load it with, and the performances proven by what's on your range-card...
--said range card is in a quick reference version in your wallet right between your NRA membership card and AHA card.