Wife OK with guns for HD not with me carrying CCW

If you can't carry she can't buy any new shoes.
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I think she'd rather be slapped...

okay, okay, I know that was probably in poor taste.

Guys, we've got to give some of our women more credit on here. They are smart people just like we are, they are just conditioned as part of our society to be less aware and concerned with personal safety and defense. That's a "man's job" and the way our society has demonized guns, many women are really strangers to them and don't know what to think, so they defer to their emotions on the subject.

My wife said this to me after I began carrying around her. "I thought for a while that you were just paranoid, then I began thinking that everyone was potentially a threat. But now I realize what those feelings were all along; you having a gun is a constant reminder of the danger that could be out there, and that is a very uncomfortable feeling. Before, I never even thought about being attacked, mugged, or killed; even though we see it on the news all the time. Having a gun makes you think about what might happen whereas most people are just comfortable denying that any bad things will ever happen to them."-or something very similar.

And she was dead on. Denial is what is instilled in our youth these days and it seems more so in our young girls. Denial that you are not the best driver on the road and will never get into a car accident. Denial that there are other people in this world that hate us simply because of the colors of our flag and skin. Denial that the nice people you meet want things from you that may or may not include your money and life- and they will try desperately to take them at all costs.

Carrying a weapon or being with someone who does forces us to stare this issue of denial in the face and many people are just incredibly uncomfortable with that. It truly is easier living without giving a thought to evil people or evil acts. Unless it actually happens to you. Then living wihout it is no longer an option; that is if living at all still is.

Try and speak with her regarding exactly this. If she is a rational, intelligent woman, she should have no problems accepting this as logically sound. If she doesn't, you can deduce that either she is neither of these things, or that she is far too likely to let her emotions control her decisions; which is a bit juvenile and a clear indicator of maturity level and distance from an adult frame of mind. In this case, I may rethink my choice in mate; though this is only my opinion.

~LT
 
Keep your mouth shut and carry your gun anyway.
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As much as I hate to say it, that's good advice. Now, I'd be the very last person ever to advocate lying to one's significant other, and the next to last to say something stupid like, "dump her". But you're carrying a gun for your safety as well as hers. I'm sure she doesn't want to die because you so happened to get into a situation that required a gun and you didn't have one on you.
 
If you ever need it,,, she'll be glad you had it,,,,,

ElephantGun.jpg


Like the Boy Scout said,,,
Be Prepared!
 
Get yourself an NAA 22 mag mini revolver, about the size of a pocket knife, carry and don't mention it, she probably won't either.
 
I had the same problem but my wife called me paranoid for carrying my pistol till one day when I almost had to use it against an angry crack head who was shoplifting in a store. thank god I didnt have to. But now she's alright with me carrying. sometimes it is best for you to stand your ground on this issue.
 
sigxder


I don't know about a wife but I just stopped seeing a girl I was dating because of ccw carry. On the third date I told her I was carrying. She went ape. Common sense didn't seem to work. She asked the usual stupid questions such as "is that loaded". My answer "of course it is. What is the point of carrying a gun used for self defense without ammo". And so on. "Do you have to wear it everywhere" ? Yes because I've seen and read about to many folks on the one day they didn't carry they needed their gun. She didn't have a single rational counterpoint to any of the thing's I answered that she asked. It was all emotional. A wife is different. As far as dating if my ccw habit is not acceptable than it's a deal breaker for me. Most of the ladies that have a problem with it if I can get to go to the range they have a ball. Converted several who now have their own gun and ccw.
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Then why'd you tell her?

you're better off not saying anything about that, unless you absolutely have to.
 
post #13.....dingdingdingding....we have a winner. Carry anydamnway. My wife used to roll her eyes at me when I carried. No more. I've shown her enough news items of crap happening in/around our town and she no longer says anything.
 
When it comes right down to it, I believe every man is responsible for the protection of his wife and family, especially when they are out and about. With that said, the weapon is suppose to be concealed. If it's concealed, she won't see it either. Man up and carry the weapon.
 
You probably aren't going to be able to convince her of anything.

If it was me, I would find a good concealed carry course nearby taught by law enforcement officers -- not Rick the local gun guy or Harry the rent-a-cop. I would tell my wife I would like for her to keep an open mind and to take the course so that she could make an informed decision about whether or not she thinks concealed carry is a bad idea.

If she respects you, she should take the course. If not, then you have bigger problems.
 
Not trying to offend anyone, but I've come to the realization that some people just need to have something happen to them before they come around to an idea.

Same thing happened to me. My friend was ridiculing me for carrying everywhere, saying some rather public comments. One day we took a wrong turn down a street and a few guys were standing around eyeballing us rather intently. She leaned over and asked if I had my 'cigarettes' on me...code for Sig.:p

No further issues after that, and she ended up getting her permit a couple years later.
 
Chris is correct sometimes a close call is needed for someone to come around to an idea. Some mens Wives will forbid them to ccw and this is a touchy area because as the men we are also charged with the security. Not 99% of the time because the women may not feel the presence of a threat, and if you CCW anyway when she does not feel threatened, you may be in the doghouse...BUT! Let her feel threatened that 1% of the time and oh my God you better be ready to accept the security detail upon a moments notice when they hand it to you!

Like I said, touchy subject. I ccw's anyway during those times and luckily did not go unarmed at the behest of my Wife that 1% day when she felt that I should have it. I passed the test.:D

Not having it on you when you need it one time is worse than having it 200 times when it was only an embarassment to the Wife...ask me how I know.
 
Ask her what makes her have this opinion. If she's not willing to give you a reason or story tied to it.. well... then she doesn't want to communicate.

My wife is glad I carry all the time!
 
End of story

First of all, thanks to all who provided well thought out, rational suggestions. The neanderthal responses I chose to ignore. I sat down with my wife and did determine the root cause of the problem. She wasn't against me carrying, she was afraid what would happen to me IF I shot someone. With that insight I arranged for a discussion with my attorney who did a great job of explaining the potential consequences of me shooting someone (different situations, etc). We walked away with a much better understanding of the issues and the potential outcome.

I carry the LCP everywhere now.
 
That was a brilliant idea ejfalvo. I am glad that you found the true cause of the issue, and that you took the time to have your attorney explain things to you and your wife. Stay safe!
 
Openly study your State's legal CCW laws, all of them. Openly is the part for your wife. You most likely already know this, but there is a lot to learn for you to be legally safe in the use of a firearm for self defense. Wives want to know you know what you are doing, it can ruin both your lives if not. If the crap intersects the fan, you won't have but a couple seconds to recall the rules in your mind. Once you pull out your weapon, everything changes. It may quiet the problem, it very may well put you in a position I hope I never have to experience. Your wife may need the assurance that you know the law, and if a situation does arise, your knowledge and cool head will prevail. Then, carry a small gun that even she won't even know you are carrying unless she is is getting "frisky" and has her hands in your pockets! Not a bad thing, again, as you most likely well know. (TCP, LCP etc). Need a pocket holster? contact me, I have found a great one.

Rick E
 
I just asked my wife what the deciding factor for her was, because I had the same problem. She said that it had a lot to do with me pointing out all the crime and bad things that happen around here, and finally she realized that I was right, that it was better to have it and not need it than be stuck without it. I know this is depressing, and you don't really want to scare your wife, but try to be gentle and firm, you know what i mean? Keep in mind that this took several months of convincing. Good luck, hope everything works out for you!
 
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