Wife OK with guns for HD not with me carrying CCW
- Thread starter ejfalvo
- Start date
stephen426
New member
While your wife can understand the need to for self defense in the house or in the car, ask her what happens if something bad happens and you are neither home, or in the car? What percentage of the time do you spend away from either of those places? The chances of something bad happening are conceivably as great (if not greater) when you are neither home, nor in your car. Running back to the car to retrieve a weapon is rarely an option in the event you actually need your gun.
I certainly would not try to hide the fact you are carrying (as suggested by someone else). Not being truthful to the wife is often as dangerous as any armed encounter, if not more so!
I certainly would not try to hide the fact you are carrying (as suggested by someone else). Not being truthful to the wife is often as dangerous as any armed encounter, if not more so!
kodiakbeer
Moderator
The shame of it is, she'll probably get the guns in the divorce! 
I think Magnum Wheel Man has got the right idea: you need to find out why specifically she's against you carrying and address that specific concern. You'll probably get the best results this way as your wife will likely appreciate being addressed and treated with the respect deserving of a rational adult.
I guess I'm the odd one out here - I just don't think you need to discuss every single thing with your wife. Gotta draw the line somewhere, and my line gets drawn at my personal protection. I'll do what I've got to do to protect myself. Wife doesn't need to know when I'm carrying. In fact, the less she knows about this the better off we both are.
You need to have some degree of autonomy in a marriage, if it's going to last you a lifetime. Somethings you just learn to keep to yourself. It's no business of my Wife's how I wipe my butt or carry a concealed handgun. Both are done in private.
Don't make it an issue. If you make it an issue, it'll be an issue.
You need to have some degree of autonomy in a marriage, if it's going to last you a lifetime. Somethings you just learn to keep to yourself. It's no business of my Wife's how I wipe my butt or carry a concealed handgun. Both are done in private.
Don't make it an issue. If you make it an issue, it'll be an issue.
AMEN to that! Lack of autonomy is definitely just as much a killer as complete autonomy!
In simple terms, just how the heck is you carrying a CONCEALED gun infringing upon her in any way? It doesn't smell bad (unless it smells like Hoppes!), it doesn't make rude noises, it doesn't invade her space unless you're ones to get frisky in public. Exactly what the heck difference does it make?
stephen426
New member
Some of you guys mistake mutual respect for autonomy. I'm sure she will be glad you were carrying if the poop ever hit the fan. I don't believe that lying about not carrying is healthy for the relationship, if she were to find out. That certainly won't win her over or make her feel more comfortable about you carrying.
kodiakbeer
Moderator
Nah, just kidding!
My advice is to buy her a Browning Buckmark and teach her to shoot. Pretty soon she'll want her own carry gun.
Stevie-Ray
New member
Just get her used to it little by little. My wife doesn't even notice my .45 laying next to me on the lampstand, while we're watching TV at night simply because it's now an everyday thing. I have a gun at least within reach, where legal, 24/7. Trust me, the eyerolls disappear after a bit of time and it just becomes normal.
I don't know about a wife but I just stopped seeing a girl I was dating because of ccw carry. On the third date I told her I was carrying. She went ape. Common sense didn't seem to work. She asked the usual stupid questions such as "is that loaded". My answer "of course it is. What is the point of carrying a gun used for self defense without ammo". And so on. "Do you have to wear it everywhere" ? Yes because I've seen and read about to many folks on the one day they didn't carry they needed their gun. She didn't have a single rational counterpoint to any of the thing's I answered that she asked. It was all emotional. A wife is different. As far as dating if my ccw habit is not acceptable than it's a deal breaker for me. Most of the ladies that have a problem with it if I can get to go to the range they have a ball. Converted several who now have their own gun and ccw.
we cant carry here in IL, but my take is thus:
1: you need to lay it out for her, your desire to carry and why, in logical plain spoken english. Assuming you have a better reason than because its kool
2: you need here to do the same, ask her to explain her concerns in rational, logical, plain spoken english.
both of you need to avoid emotional responces to the others points and then u work it out like grown ups
1: you need to lay it out for her, your desire to carry and why, in logical plain spoken english. Assuming you have a better reason than because its kool
2: you need here to do the same, ask her to explain her concerns in rational, logical, plain spoken english.
both of you need to avoid emotional responces to the others points and then u work it out like grown ups
Here's something else you might want to consider ... if you're doing SD right, you and your wife should have already discussed how to work together in a situation where your gun might come into play ... if she doesn't know you're carrying, she might make a move that would put her in the line of fire or disrupt your draw ... after our San Antonio experience, my wife and I went over what to do if we're in an SD situation, including a code word in the event she's being used as a shield and what to do when the word is used ... she doesn't want to carry, so I got her one of those Kimber pepper spray devices ... you can't assume that she'll do the right thing when the balloon goes up ... not talking about something as serious as deploying a weapon is a bad mistake ...