When would you tell a new girlfriend that you carry?

Just lead with....

".... how 'bout after I get back from the range Saturday afternoon, you and I go see the
Symphony that evening....?

That ought to open the conversation -- especially if during the last movement you lean
over and ask if she'd like to come out to the range w/ you next Saturday.... ;)


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I like it...

That's a nice way to ease into it.

It also shows you have a wide range of interests which, I think, would make the whole thing seem less threatening for the woman.

I also agree with the comment that if there is even a chance of being robbed by an accomplice, carry the gun.
Better to have "an uncontrolled hug" reveal that you are carrying than be unprepared to meet a serious threat with the appropriate amount of force.

For a while there were some 20 something young "ladies" that were
actually slipping guys "roofies" (Rohypnol) and stealing from them in their stupor, including one of their guns at home!
That guy was quoted as saying he felt lucky that his gun wasn't used on him!

My State is very gun friendly and the rate of violent crime in my County is actually extraordinarily low compared to the large city in the northeastern US where I grew up.
All the same, I think date crimes like these are under reported because guys feel so embarrassed for some reason.

If it was me, and I hope it never will be, I don't care if was some chick I met on the 'net, I would definitely report whatever info I had to the police for whatever good that might do. :rolleyes:
 
I was a special LEO in my hometown & 21 yrs. old. I went to a dance one night & was dancing with this woman. The music got slow and we started dancing. Couple of seconds into it she asked "is that a gun under you coat"? I nodded and asked was that a problem. She said no and we continued. Moral of this is don't over think it. It will come up when it comes up. I think you're being a bit paranoid IMHO.
Respectfully
Doc
 
I like that "go to the symphony" thing, especially combined with going to the range. She has probably been told, and believes, that gun owners are insane retards, backwoods barbarians who spit tobacco juice and don't know Beethoven from Budweiser, the surprise alone should get you a few points.

Jim
 
For many years I wore a watch that was more valuable than my Glock and everyone could see it on me daily. No one ever tried to steal it. This "I can't tell anyone because everyone will try to steal it" bit is nonsense.

I'd say how you bring it up is more important than when. If you bring it up in a way that leads the person to believe you are absolutely obsessed with firearms and think of nothing else, that is going to be a turn off to a lot of people who might otherwise not have a problem with it.
"I'm going to the range to shoot next week. Want to come along." While there"this is the gun I carry" -Probably OK
"I've got a loaded shotgun in a corner of every room in my house, try not to bump into them because they are loaded and ready to go" -Say what?

I think every girl I've dated has known I owned guns before our first one-on-one date. They found out I carried whenever. As ten as not when i have to unholster before leaving the vehicle to enter a CPZ. Carrying is getting common enough that most people are aware of it in Ohio now.

Not that I have an extensive experience with the matter.
 
To answer the OP's question - whenever you feel comfortable with it. I had no set rule to tell a girl I was dating that I owned guns or was carrying. As far as I'm concerned, it's strictly my business. I dated some gun-friendly girls, some who were neutral, some I never got to know how they felt and only one girl who openly told me that guns were "evil" (those were her words).

The bottom line - there are a bunch of things I didn't tell girls when I would start dating them. Personal things (together with owning/carrying a gun) came out little by little if and when it felt natural.

As a general rule, I simply didn't discuss guns while dating unless the girl wanted to discuss them for some reason.
 
If you get much deeper in the relationship, there will be concern over priorities and jealousy. Aside from just the potential strangeness of the new information, she may have some concern over how much this hobby or interest has in comparison to her. That'll go for ANY hobby. Football games, golf, time with your buddies.

I don't think shooting has consumed your life to an unhealthy degree because you've been able to keep things on the down low when you wanted to / needed to. A positive /fun experience and a positive atmosphere means a lot to your significant other. But if you mention your hobby in a tense guilty shameful tone she'll think it bothers you too on some level. You may not even need a special "sit down" discussion about it as that would feel very unnatural. If it comes up it comes up.

If she walks away because of 1 interest/hobby, it sounds like things are not so deep. If she really cares for you even if she isn't used to the idea, there will be more discussion and questions etc. She might have a lot of baggage regarding guns/shooting because most are taught a certain way in public schools. Keep things positive and remember some things are out of our control.
 
My girlfriend heard about some local stick ups and told me to start carrying, I said already have been and pulled out the full size 1911 :D
 
First question... Colt 1911 45 acp, your thoughts?:)

Seriously, being a biker and redneck all my life, all I have dated, and married, are biker chicks, or kikker chicks, and most of them already had a nice selection of their own firearms, so I've never had that problem.

If I were you I would mention it pretty quick, so you don't waste more time and effort than needed.
 
The sooner the better frankly. Assuming her knowing won't in some way harm you, I'd say get the "gun" topic out of the way relatively soon. Dating is time consuming and expensive and my philosophy is to try to weed out all the incompatibles as soon as possible...

I'd bring it up in casual conversation that you shoot guns, own guns, whatever. That's a soft introduction. We forget that while guns are important to us, probably 30-50% of people they are of no importance too, one way or another and these sheep won't understand why we carry. So having her "find" it may be really awkward and she may think you have bad intentions or are hiding things. Trust broken = no more dates. But you should mention it, gradually working into the carry issue. As for worries about hugs, just go under their arms and force their arms up - that's my technique to keep strangers from feeling it. Guard it with your arm low, reach under their arms for hugs.

Would you rather spend weeks or months and hundreds of dollars to learn she's rabidly anti-gun and works for the Brady campaign?

I'd softly mention that you were at the range the other day, or just bought a new gun, or let her see pictures of you shooting, and see how she reacts. Go from there. If she's bat-crazy anti-gun, move on. No need to waste time or money. If she's just uninformed, you may be able to bring her over through education. And if she's pro gun, then that's one less issue.

There are many reasons for unhappy relationships, failed marriages, and single parents. It's my opinion to eliminate all possible issues as soon as possible in dating - heaven forbid you marry or have children with someone you barely know and are tied to them indefintely.
 
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Don't be a fool and disclose your gun hobby on the first few dates. Keep your guns and the fact you carry a gun to yourself until you really know the person. Because:

1. She might use this information against you when you break up;
2. She might decide to help herself to one; or have her friends help themselves to some;
3. She might claim that you threatened her with a gun, seek an injunction and have the cops take away your carry rights and your guns.

Is she going to tell you about all of her x-lovers (ever)? Is she going to divulge all of her "scrapes with the law" to you on the 5th date? Is she going to tell you about her x-boyfriend who did some time for selling drugs and dealing in stolen property by the 6th date?

When do you really know someone? In my opinion, you don't EVER really know someone. But, you might have a pretty good idea of a person's moral character after 3-6 months of an exclusive relationship.
 
Sometimes you meet a wonderful person that are anti-gun because they have been misinformed or are uninformed. You have to carefully educate them. It is not a chore for the impatient.

I had a rifle and a shotgun when I got married in 1968. I traded them to my brother because I didn't have time for them and I knew my new wife didn't like them. I didn't have a lot of interest at the time so it didn't bother me. When we moved back to the mountains in 1999, I decided to get a rifle to hunt groundhogs that were digging up the yard and the wife didn't complain. She didn't complain when I bought another and inherited a couple of shotguns. She complained a little when I got my first handgun and I explained we needed it because we live far out in the sticks. I kept pointing out the self defense and gun crimes where it would have helped in the paper and on TV. She was more accepting but still a little leery. I bought a 22 semi-auto and justified it to her as I needed something cheaper to shoot than 9mm. I bought a Rough Rider to go with my Henry rifle and explained I needed it to match my cowboy rifle. She immediately started calling it my capbuster. I told her I planned on it being my last one. When I bought another and told her it was my last one, she said I said it every time. I have not mentioned it for the last 3 or 4. She has become pro-gun for safety and encourages me to practice and makes sure I have one with me when we go to cities. It took 40+ years but it was worth it.
 
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