What Is A Mall Ninja ???

Car under Water

Jack,
If your car goes in the drink, roll down a window. Water pressure will keep you from opening a door, but you can roll down a window. (Assuming, of course, you don't have electric windows that short out when you go under!)
 
I'm a mall ninja... according to some people... these people also think that carrying a pocket knife is barbaric and unnecessary. :eek:

If I mention carrying a conceiled weapon (aka 'gun'), their response is "To protect you from what? Ze Germans?"

All depends on who you ask. But it's still a funny thread.
 
They had a show on Discovery last weekend showing this stuff, about how to get out of danger in situatoins like parking garages and sinking cars.

If the water pressure makes your door stick, wait till the water is inside the car and the pressure is even.
However, the last time I was in a wreck, the impact bent the frame of the car, wich would have kept the doors from opening at all as they were jammed stuck.
I still think keeping a gun handy is a good idea in the event you wind up going over a bridge or getting trapped in a flash flood. Either of which CAN happen. And a gun that can work when submerged.
I do not understand the obsession of some people with their gun being able to be dropped out of a 747 and run over by a steam shovel .....Crap like that never happens outside of Wile E. Coyote cartoons.
 
FWIW, at a depth of 33 feet of water, the pressure exerted by the water on a car door of 3 square feet surface area is about 20 times greater than an average human being can exert to push the door open. Unless the car is allowed to flood with water, which will equalize the pressure and then be able to be opened. Just showing that the 'dumb-tough' rule applies to cars and water! :) Tom
 
What is a Mall Ninja

When people get in trouble, they call 9-1-1, for the Police, when the police get in trouble, they call for S.W.A.T, when S.W.A.T gets in trouble, the call for "Mall Ninja." :D :D
 
dont need it during summers up here. sun is out 20+ hours a day. but i do tape a laser pointer to the handguards when i overcook my dinner and my home is full of smoke.

i may or may not intentionally overcook my dinners for that purpose.
Click to expand...
I missed that the first time around 'Spiff. LMAO
Estimated Danger Level 1-10: -The TMF gets a 9. His tactics ensure that if you make one wrong move, you're not coming home for dinner-and even if you don't, you're still not coming home for dinner. Either way, you don't get no dinner.

End Report
Click to expand...

:D
 
Google image finder is a goldmine.

ImbroglioFlninjaEjpg.jpg


mwm.jpg



Those are both from mallninja.com by the way.
 
Hmmm... doesn't look like he has a SAPI plate duct-taped to his back. Must be one of those 4x6" trauma plates. Did he have a briefcase with one nearby? :D

Edit: Just noticed the guy in the green shirt has a Marine tattoo on his forearm. Place your bets, gentlemen! :D
 
I'm a cop and I am not a Mall Ninja. Actually I mainly investigate fraud cases so much of my time is spent on the phone; talking to bank tellers, secret service agents and typing on the computer. However I wanted to let you know that in in the ranks of law enforcement we have genuine mall ninjas. Yes sometimes they do get hired.

One of the officers on my department is a Mall Ninja. He's actually a pretty good officer, but he loves all the stuff by Blackhawk and he is carrying a different gun about every six months. He's really into the tactical stuff.
 
another funny from mallninja.com

The Official Mall Ninja Ballad

(To be sung, at the top of the voice, at all times, to the tune of "The Ballad of the Green Beret").

Security badges upon their chests
Security men America's best
Ogling chicks selling lemonade
These are Mall Ninja Brigade

Tactical sneakers on their feet
Ninjas ready for CQB
Ninjatsu they know by heart
Bought training manuals from WalMart

MP5's hanging from their sides
Infra-red on, they can see her thighs
Retail security is Ninjas' game
In polyester pants they are never lame

Uniforms got white sugar dust
One more donut their guts will bust
Patrolling mall in little golf cart
'Cuz the food court is just too far

In the morning they break down doors
Busting theirs and saving yours
They all finished the seventh grade
Only these are Mall Ninja Brigade...

Credit for this bit of clever witticism goes to "Javak". The unofficial word from the field agents in his area, is that he will be eliminated without delay.
 
Thanks

I'm glad that clears that up. I thought a mall ninja was like my neigbors old lady headed for the mall with three credit cards---more dangerous than any of the aforementioned. :D
 
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