What Is A Mall Ninja ???

I always thought it was the modern version of the Mail Order Ninja, the types who buy belt buckle knives and other kung fu junk via the Krud K catalogues and such, only they buy it at martial arts stores in malls now.
The term first started floating around years ago on cutlery and martial arts forums.
The desciption you guys are giving is a Chairborn Ranger. The type that is a walking talking death machine, more dangerous than any man on the planet, but who tends to have some career occupation/background OUTSIDE of the military, law enforcement or executive protection. Often they are accountants with plenty of money to spend on "tactical accessories" and generally wont buy a gun unless it has a polymer frame.
 
Thats my freakin office Spiffs in...stands there like real quiet, then quick shoulder weapon, yell Tang tango then make machine gun noices that I can only describe as sounding like the flatulance from a bear that hanst eaten anyhting but chili washed down with warm Bud for a year and a half, then he puts down the gun and stands there real quiet, repeat shoulder and tango yells and dribbly machine gun noises...

its unnerving having him do that for an hour while your trying to work

Wildanditaintc4itsprobablyabrenreceiverAlaska
 
Lol

That was a hoot! A good way to wind down after a 113 hour night shift. Should sleep well now!
"Maybe Mall Ninja will watch over me while I sleep?"

Oops make that a 13 (thirteen hour shift). I Needed to go to bed when I did that!
 
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Jack, my understanding was always that a chairborne ranger was in the military, but was like a personnel clerk or something of that nature that matched the above description. Some people have accused me of chairborne rangerhood at one time or another, but I have jump wings already, so I don't need the chairborne wings. :D
 
Yahoo search turned this up:

MallSecMag.jpg
 
I think the thought of a mall ninja in my house is pretty much the only thing that could keep me awake after a 113 hour shift... ;-)
 
I bet they dream about being in the military or an officer. But they were born with that uhhhh leg uhhhhhh arm uhhhh dieases thing that ahh the uhhhhh doctor said they uhhhhhhh can't, you know, do any hard labor. But they would if they were not uhhhhh born that way. Because they were made for combat. :rolleyes: Darn shame too what would the nation be with out their ninja skills to protect us all?
 
Something along the same lines...just as funny, maybe funnier! :D

www.realultimatepower.net

I never have realized it but I work with a mallninja. He wears camo to work, constantly talks about his soon to be sword collection, armor piercing ammunition for the AR he owns but has never shot, and various tactical additions made to his Ford Taurus. He's a good guy...but we all have a good laugh whenever he opens his mouth.

Please, everyone share your mallninja encounters...this is classic!!! :D :eek: :D
 
I have to quit reading this...my wife just yelled at me for waking up the kids because I was laughing so hard. We need more posts like this.
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I remember, back in the day, sending links to those threads to a buddy at his work. He called to yell at me because he was laughing so hard his co-workers thought he was cracking-up.
It's been a long time since I've read them but I still remember the ceramic plates to take .308 shots to the head while his "partner" assembled somekind of rifle...
Oh my. I guess I'll need to go back and read them again, when no ones around...

Mike
 
Two of my favorite quotes so far:

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Originally Posted By SpecialForces:
Dude, my sister shoots one of those when it's not jamming on her. Get a real gun.

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You carry in my mall without a properly displayed permit, Nancy, and your ponytails will be flying as I take you down hard. I can draw a bath faster than you could draw a gun...


[ Edited By SPECIALFORCES

This is the greatest site ever :D
 
Estimated Danger Level 1-10: -The TMF gets a 9. His tactics ensure that if you make one wrong move, you're not coming home for dinner-and even if you don't, you're still not coming home for dinner. Either way, you don't get no dinner.

End Report
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There is only one thing tougher than a Mall Ninja, and that's:

Icy_Hot_Stuntaz.jpg


Hug.jpg


Wassup now bish? We changed outfits but we still ICY HOT.
 
That might just be the funniest thing I have seen in my short life. They just lay around their parents huge house getting stoned talking about how bad they hate their parents and how bad they got it. :rolleyes: Then one day try to go all "gangster" on the wrong person. And get drawn down on while they pee all over their prepubesent selfs. Man if they were my kids and they started acting like that I would have him in a military academy faster then they could say "druggie white punks".
 
:eek: What if the mall ninja and the icey hot stuntaz were to collide into a huge battle. Man where can I get tickets to that show? It might just be WWIII. :rolleyes:
 
What if the mall ninja and the icey hot stuntaz were to collide into a huge battle. Man where can I get tickets to that show? It might just be WWIII.
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:barf: :barf: :barf: :barf: :barf:

Uhm heh, nuff said
 
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