What Is A Mall Ninja ???

Na,
Chairborn Rangers are guys who never were in the military, but to hear their paramilitary lingo, you would never know it. They go on and on like life master sargeants, but never saw a day in uniform once they were asked to leave the boy scouts....
A friend of mine who was in the army described the term to me years and years (actually decades) ago.
The guys who ARE in the Military but never see anything more dangerous than a pencil cut and never wield any weapon more deadly than an accountants pencil are called REMF, aka Rear Echelon Mother Somthingorothers.
 
REMFs are guys who go to the field for no longer than a day and wear a starched uniform and spit-shined boots when they do. A REMF looks uncomfortable in the field, a chairborne ranger just looks goofy in the field and is usually dehydrated and exhausted from the heavy load of superfluous crap strapped to his body.

In summary, a chairborne ranger is a REMF with a grossly overexaggerated sense of his high speed/low drag factor. :D
 
Booney Rats

Then there's boonie rats who'd rather be in the field than back at garrison.
Click to expand...

Count me in that group :D
Just got back from 15 days in Yakima, getting ready for more shortly.
Got back from "the big show" in October, going back June '06.
Year in Korea before that, feild rotations in JSA. Two weeks out, four back.

We have some severe mall ninja's at the range here. The one I remember most is the guy who always shows up with his thigh rig on even though drawing from a holster is not allowed here. He also wears a backwards black ball cap with a desert camo "du-rag" under it.

Can't lump the Oakley's in there as we were all issued them in Iraq so they're pretty common.

Personally, I max the "ninja-meter" with my stained Carhartt jacket, my "crush and dent" Stetson, and my Turkish Mauser.

Maybe I'd be more tactical if I took the bandoleirs of surplus ammo and draped them over my chest? :rolleyes:
 
Well, my boonie rat days are LONG gone and over. Never did a Yak attack, but was stationed out there at the Clinic for a year. Nice place to live, but I wouldn't want to visit!

Now, Graf and Hohenfels....Argh...Spent a year there one month....or something like that. Nov/Dec 75. Man...That was cold.

"Tanks for the memories...."
 
Nothing wrong with "boonie rats". Count me in as one.
I volunteered to go back to Nam in 1969 just to get the
hell out of stateside training duty with the 28th Marines
at Pendleton.
I decided I would rather dodge AK rounds than put up with
the B S the Training Officers and Gunnys wanted to put
us through.
I know training is necessary, but for someone who has
been there, and just spent three months recuperating from
having been there, the training seemed to be a little much.

But back to the point at hand, I want to know if anyone ever
identified "Gecko 45"? Who was/is he? Or she? Whoever they
are, in my book, they are sheer genius!

Walter
 
True "Mall Ninjas" also have a bank of yellow lights on top of their "personal" Taurus (cause it ain't legal for them to buy the red and blue ones!).

I almost wet myself when I looked out in the parking lot of the MP barracks and noticed about half the POV's had yellow lights on top. Man, those things are like $500. Troops cried about how they couldn't afford BDU's with no holes and had to have the 1SG give them a haircut from the company barber's kit, but they could afford a bunch of "Mall Ninja" crap!
 
How can you be high speed/low drag when you have a laser sight module hanging under the frame of your Glunk or Husp and the sharp edges keep catching on the $5 nylon holster that most Mall Ninja/Chairborn Ranger types buy because they spent all their gear money on the cool toys, not the items needed to deploy them?
 
so that's what's wrong with that guy...

We've got a few here also--one of them I call Officer Fatass, he must weigh nearly 400#, I swear. He's got a little import pickup truck with pretty much zero visibility out his rear window from all of the "cold dead fingers" type bumper stickers on it. He used to be the security guard that stopped folks from using the free library parking if they weren't really in the library. He's an officious little prick who shouldn't be allowed to own a cell phone, much less a gun. The other one that stands out drives a surplus police cruiser that he put a light bar on top of. He's got handcuffs hanging from the rearview and his vanity plate says "COPCAR" What a tool.

AK
 
I just laughed my arse off at Gecko 45. I like the part on GT where he says, "We are a 3 person tatical squad at the mall."LOL
 
Christ, this is the funniest thread I've read so far. I never knew there was an actual term for these guys. Reminds me of the people that show up at gun show decked out with all the military gear but with nowhere to go.

Fred Hansen

That's the funniest sh*t I've seen. Bling bling, yo.
 
We got a term for them where I'm from...it's Hobby Cop. Those are the guys who have antenas poking out in all directions from their car which they back into their driveways for quick responses to their police scanners. :D
 
There are funnier posts.
Like the ones where some Chairborn Ranger goes on and on about how his plastic gun can be dropped out of a helicopter and run over by a steamroller and will work.
Thats nice, but I don't think thats apt to happen in the case of a real world self defence or emergency scenario.

I never could understand why these guys never mention guns that may be able to fire underwater.
Years ago, I witnessed an incident where a person drowned in their car during a flood. They got stuck in it and could not get out. Now, where you live such might be an unlikey event. But around here, generally one person a year buys the farm in aflooding incident.
In fact, I always felt one good reason to carry a gun would be to shoot out a window or windshield in such a situation.
Beleive it or not, some guns will work underwater (don't assume yours will, as its dangerous because of pressure in the barrell acting like an obstruction and water can cushion the blow of the firing pin.....).
I know 1911s will fire under water and I know that Glocks can be modified to fire underwater, but presumably they have to be modified first......

In the event your ride is under the drink, I would rather have a gun that could fire underwater and free me from a steel and glass death trap than a gun that can be driven over by an SUV and dropped off a biulding.

Why the Chairborn Ranger/Mall Ninja crowd never seem concerned about such a possibility, considering how easily impressed they are by other events highly unlkely to happen (like getting into a gunfight after falling off a five story building and bein run over by a hummer) never ceases to amaze me.
But post anything about "torture tests" and the Tactical crowd will be all over it in three minutes bragging about their Uberguns.
Where I live, being attacked by a bear or drowning in a flooded vehicle are bigger threats to my existance than gangbangers or terrorists. Which means a big bore revolver is often the better "tactical" tool in the real world I live in.
You couldn't sell one of these guys a wheelgun if you put a light rail on it.
 
Ah, common Jack. The true mall ninja will have a special tool on his belt to break glass. It's a carbide, spring loaded thingamajig that, when released, will shatter the glass so the water pressure will cave it in. Don't remember what the little boogers are called but they are quite the conversation piece.
 
Hey! I got a thingy sorta like that for XMas one year -- my wife got one, too. A carbide tipped hammer, it has a safety shrouded razor for cutting the seatbelts, too. I keep mine in my truck, the wife has hers in her car. It made sense when we were living in the N.O. area where it floods all the time -- and in the Houston area where I grew up, too.
 
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