Since your pocket gun will be your primary carry, not a back up, not something you drop in your pocket for convenience on a short trip but usually use something else, not seasonal, etc. I would go with the largest capacity, strongest caliber, and heaviest weight you can pocket carry in the greatest number of pants you own.
I would go with a 9mm (for a primary I consider .380 too weak, for something light enough for pocket carry .40 may be too stout, and you will lose at least one round in a subcompact/pocketable .40). Depending upon the size that you can pocket carry, and the weight you want to carry around, you have a few options.
If you can carry it, a Kahr K9 would be a great choice. Between its 23oz weight and its design its recoil isn't too bad, they are usually accurate, after break in they are usually reliable, and they have a 7+1 capacity of 9mm. Not too bad.
If the size works, but you want to go lighter, the P9 could be a good choice. Same size as the K9, but 8oz lighter.
If you want smaller, but weight isn't an issue, the Kahr MK9 would be a good choice. If you need to go lighter, the Kahr PM9 seems to be the gold standard for pocketable 9mms. The CM9 is similar but less expensive.
I have a SIG P290RS which could easily be carried in a pocket. It is a terrific little gun, quite accurate (much more than such a small gun has any right to be), comfortable to shoot, with 100% reliability thus far (3-4 years of use), and it is just small and light enough for pocket use (20.5oz). With the flush mag it has a 6+1 capacity of 9mm, the extended mag would be pocketable with some pants (but not all) and has a capacity of 8+1 rounds of 9mm (it comes with both mags). It definitely isn't any harder to pocket carry than any of my J-frames.
An honorable mention/wildcard should go to the Glock 26 (10+1 capacity). Some people seem to find them pocketable, and since you can use full sized mags for reloads, and they are generally fairly easy small guns to shoot and quite accurate, you give up little over a larger carry gun if you can make it work for you. If this direction works for you, you may also want to consider the G27 since these subcompact guns are (IMO of course) the smallest where .40S&W becomes reasonable.
I know most people are suggesting smaller guns, and most suggestions were in .380 or .38spl, but since you said you are a big guy (as am I) and don't mind a little weight and since this will be your primary (only) CCW I'm thinking you should go as big as you can and still use it as a pocket carry. I think most guns mentioned here are terrific pocket guns as a backup or for limited use (certain pants that may not conceal a larger gun). However, for general/only CCW use, I like my list better
. Any on the list would be good. If you can afford two guns I'd do the Glock for when you have larger pockets and CM/PM9 for when you must have something smaller and lighter. If you need one gun for pretty much all your carry needs, consider the SIG P290 since you have the flexibility of the flush 6 round mag when you have smaller pockets and the extended 8 round mag when you can get away with it (and have 9 rounds of 9mm on tap in a pocketable package).
I would go with a 9mm (for a primary I consider .380 too weak, for something light enough for pocket carry .40 may be too stout, and you will lose at least one round in a subcompact/pocketable .40). Depending upon the size that you can pocket carry, and the weight you want to carry around, you have a few options.
If you can carry it, a Kahr K9 would be a great choice. Between its 23oz weight and its design its recoil isn't too bad, they are usually accurate, after break in they are usually reliable, and they have a 7+1 capacity of 9mm. Not too bad.
If the size works, but you want to go lighter, the P9 could be a good choice. Same size as the K9, but 8oz lighter.
If you want smaller, but weight isn't an issue, the Kahr MK9 would be a good choice. If you need to go lighter, the Kahr PM9 seems to be the gold standard for pocketable 9mms. The CM9 is similar but less expensive.
I have a SIG P290RS which could easily be carried in a pocket. It is a terrific little gun, quite accurate (much more than such a small gun has any right to be), comfortable to shoot, with 100% reliability thus far (3-4 years of use), and it is just small and light enough for pocket use (20.5oz). With the flush mag it has a 6+1 capacity of 9mm, the extended mag would be pocketable with some pants (but not all) and has a capacity of 8+1 rounds of 9mm (it comes with both mags). It definitely isn't any harder to pocket carry than any of my J-frames.
An honorable mention/wildcard should go to the Glock 26 (10+1 capacity). Some people seem to find them pocketable, and since you can use full sized mags for reloads, and they are generally fairly easy small guns to shoot and quite accurate, you give up little over a larger carry gun if you can make it work for you. If this direction works for you, you may also want to consider the G27 since these subcompact guns are (IMO of course) the smallest where .40S&W becomes reasonable.
I know most people are suggesting smaller guns, and most suggestions were in .380 or .38spl, but since you said you are a big guy (as am I) and don't mind a little weight and since this will be your primary (only) CCW I'm thinking you should go as big as you can and still use it as a pocket carry. I think most guns mentioned here are terrific pocket guns as a backup or for limited use (certain pants that may not conceal a larger gun). However, for general/only CCW use, I like my list better
. Any on the list would be good. If you can afford two guns I'd do the Glock for when you have larger pockets and CM/PM9 for when you must have something smaller and lighter. If you need one gun for pretty much all your carry needs, consider the SIG P290 since you have the flexibility of the flush 6 round mag when you have smaller pockets and the extended 8 round mag when you can get away with it (and have 9 rounds of 9mm on tap in a pocketable package).
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