I was in the Big Three (WWI, WWII, Korea-Vietnam[each counts for a half, commie-fighting is too easy])! I took down over a thousand with a dull kitchen knife. Potatoes, that is.
And when the firing began, you didn't find me cowering in the dark corners. I was where the bullets were thickest.
Under the ammunition truck.
Signed,
Field Marshal John Smith, Ex-Ranger, Ex-SEAL, Ex-Airforce, Ex-SAS, Ex-MI6, Ex-CIA, Ex-OSS, Excelsior, Ex-wife, VC, Legion of Merit, Navy Cross, Medal of Honor, 11 Silver Stars, 20 Bronze Stars, 45 Purple Hearts, and a Partridge in a Pear Tree.
Served under: Patton, Montgomery, Eisenhower, Gen. Grant, Lee, Sherman, Stonewall Jackson, George Washington, Nathan Bedford Forrest, Napoleon Bonaparte, Napoleon Dynamite, Andrew Jackson, Alexander the Great, Duke of Wellington, Duke of Marlborough, Julius Caesar, Hannibal.