my girl friend hates guns...help?

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george fury

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I bought my first handgun a few weeks ago, a pt111 (i love it). i want to conceal carry and buy other guns for HD and simply for the fun of it. my problem is this, my girlfriend (of three years) was brought up to fear guns so she hates them and finds them useless saying "my dad didn't carry a gun and he never needed one". she also has an irrational fear of them. she is far beyond cautious. not that cautiousness is a bad thing.

first of all, what can i do or say to help her find them useful for conceal carry?

to rid her of her irrationality?

and what are some suggestions for conceal carry for me?

(leaving her is not an option) ---haha

thanks
 
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Take her target shooting. She might like it. Don't pressure her she might come around. It's something you like. She should give you the freedom to do it.
 
Don't force her it only makes things harder .send me your gun and take up knitting :p my wife was scared at first .but now she shoots all of the time .
 
i took her shooting and she had fun with my sister's .22 but not my 9mm.

even still she doesnt like the idea of conceal carry.

i'm probably guilty of coming on too strong with it all.

i might just take up knitting yet. HA!

thanks guys
 
My wife likes to shoot skeet, trap and sporting clays, and can be persuaded to shoot small-bore pistol, but has little interest in rifle and no interest at all in big-bore pistols. She wouldn't carry on a bet.

But she recognizes that firearms and shooting are important to me, so she doesn't give me any grief about it. In fact: She bought me a new pistol for Christmas one year and regularly encourages me to go shooting with my buddies. (Which I don't often do anymore for financial reasons.)

So I would say: If your girlfriend doesn't like firearms: Leave her be. Don't push them on her. But she has to understand that you must be free to pursue self-defense and shooting as a hobby, if you're so-inclined. She must also understand that neither marriage nor children are going to change that. (It is not uncommon for women to get it in their heads that marriage or children give them an opportunity to change the rules, as it were. E.g.: "No guns in the house now that we have a child.")
 
Time for a new girlfriend?


Mine is on the fence but leans toward the pro-gun side. She understands they can't "all just go away", but she feels zero need or desire to shoot/carry one herself. She kinda rolled her eyes when I got my permit, but since then there have been a couple situations where she was happy I had it. Tell you what though, she has no desire to hold or shoot one, but she'll load magazines for me when I go out shooting and actually thinks that it's fun. Go figure.
 
If you really love the chick, deemphasize the defensive weapon/ccw aspect for now, and show her the positive hobby oriented side of your gun-nuttness. Some guys shoot hoops, some build rods, some fly fish, some shoot/collect guns, etc.

Prove to her that you are a level headed hobbyist who also has a concern for self defense and 2nd Amendment Rights, and make it easy for her to see that you aren't some wack-job that can't wait to shoot a bad guy.

All this if she's worth it, or even if she aint.:rolleyes: jd
 
There may not be much you can do to change her attitude, at least not in a hurry.

My wife doesn't like guns and never goes shooting. When I first started carrying, she was concerned that I was looking for a situation where I'd shoot someone. After I explained my attitude (always back down, apologize, retreat) and she saw that I wasn't walking around like some movie tough guy, she began to accept it. Now, after 20+ years, she just ignores the guns (I carry two). She still doesn't like it, but she can live with it.
 
my girlfriend was brought up to fear guns so she hates them and finds them useless saying "my dad didn't carry a gun and he never needed one". she also has an irrational fear of them. she is far beyond cautious.
Click to expand...

Join the NRA, get the American Rifleman Magazine, tear out the Armed Citizen Page for her reading pleasure.

I wouldn't worry about it. You have your interests, she has her's. Just because you are paired up doesn't mean you have to do everything together. Nor should you be required to share the same views. Agree to disagree. If she comes around one day great,....well maybe not. Frankly I am glad my significant other doesn't want to go the range with me. We do plenty together and it's nice for both us to have away time.
 
Give this a try:
Arrange a range day with another couple or two. If possible, go with folks she knows and likes. Make plans to go eat lunch or dinner afterwards at some restaurant that your girl loves. Pack a big cooler with her favorite drinks and snacks. Make a big, happy production out of it. Nobody likes to be left sitting at home when everyone else is having fun. She may just cave and want to tag a long.

Make sure to bring an easy shooting .22 rifle. Hopefully, you'll be going to a place where you can shoot up some tin cans or at one of those steel hanging paddle targets made for a .22. The rifle is more important to have along as opposed to a handgun as it's more difficult to hit one's target with a handgun; newbies find it more frustrating. Every newbie I've brought to the range had a ball with the ol' Glenfield 60. They get a satisfied grin on their face when they make that tin can bounce for the first time. And, a .22 rifle has next to no kick or noise so it's not intimidating.

Also, if you can get her to read something for a half hour, the Cornered Cat website mentioned above is very good.

A while back, I was out with a woman who thought I was a bit off for carrying a gun. She wasn't a fanatic about it but she did bring it up a few times, usually when I made the Makarov "clunk" by putting down my coat or when I emptied my pants pockets (P3AT.) Anyway, it was somewhat late and we were on our way home when we stopped at a dingy Minit Mart-type gas station to get gas and a coffee. Some big, loitering drunk started up with us, the what're-you-looking-at type. I told my date to get behind me and to get out the cell phone, that no one was going to hurt her. Thankfully, it didn't get crazy and we got home without incident. But, later, she did very reluctantly admit that she was really glad that I had my gun. I love how folks will be so, so idealistic in the safety and comfort of their living room but will quickly let all of those sacred ideals fly out the window when real life injects itself into their cozy cocoon.

Anyway, try the range outing-picnic-dinner-funtime event. Nobody likes to be left home alone while everyone's out eating, socializing and having fun. My current girlfriend, a very serious relationship girlfriend, had never shot a gun before she met me. I got another couple, both of them CCW folks, to go to the range with us. My girl had a good time, met some new people and now has her own carry permit. She's only carrying a tiny, nickel-plated, 80 year old H&R 5 shot hammerless .32 revolver but at least she always has it with her. It's a babystep, yes, but it's better than a .22 or nothing at all.
 
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Good luck. I'd try to take her shooting to show her that guns aren't evil and discuss how important guns are to you.

It may work, it may not. My wife wasn't pro gun or CCW at first either and it wasn't smooth when I got my CCW either. My wife has learned to accept it however but it wasn't over night and it took her a while. Still can't get her to go shoot, but guns and CCW are no longer issues.
 
If she's ok with you doing it and just wants no part of it then it's not really an issue.

If she's not ok with you doing it, well, people don't change. Proceed accordingly.
 
Be prepared...

...to walk away. I'm serious. Love, or what we think is love at the time, can bring remarkably dissimilar people together. If you want it to last, you have to have the same values. A mature, healthy adult can be swayed by reason to accept a new viewpoint. Of course, a mature, healthy adult does not have irrational fears of inanimate objects.

I look on a person's view on arms ownership and personal defense as a gauge. If they are fearful of guns, and do not value their place in everyday life; if they do not take their own security as a personal responsibility; I take that to mean that they lack a certain degree of reason. I will not tie my future too tightly to them.

Do try to sway her on this. Take your shot. But if she doesn't fully, truthfully and honestly come around to your way of thinking, I suggest you move on. We enter into relationships on a provisional basis. We take the opportunity to test each other out and see if we fit together. Personally, gun ownership and personal defense represent too big a piece of the puzzle for me. I could not live with someone who had a divergent philosophy in that regard.

Oh, and I wouldn't buy any more guns until you have this sorted out. This will bolster her trust in you and put her more at ease (with you, not necessarily guns), and it will give you serious impetus to get the thing sorted out!;)
 
my wife was afraid of guns when i first got mine. In her mind guns kill people when in reality people kill people. If you can help her realise thats its just a piece of machinery and if u respect it and handle the gun safely maybe she will come around like my wife did.
 
Girlfriends, until they become wives really shouldn't influence your decision about guns; heck even wives shouldn't meddle. If she loves you, she will accept you as your are and quit bugging you about it. Yes, I am married. If I want another gun, my philosophy is: My money my decision. Period.
 
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