I don't know why everyone knocks the .22lr for SD. I know the macho thing is bigger is better and while I don't carry a .22LR, but certain reasons, it has and does work for people every day.
If someone is NEW to shooting and is learning but needs a defensive gun, and is comfortable with a .22lr than I don't think we should scoff at it. Like others stated, a gun that is comfortable to the shooter allows them to practice more and allows them to become more confident with it. Sure 9mm is a great, mildly recoiling round, but to some never have shot before it can be too much recoil until you learn all the fundamentals.
There are certain circumstances where I would rather sell a person a .22lr and have them be able to quickly place 8/10 shots on paper, rather than the first shot with a 9mm on paper and the rest in the dirt or ceiling.
Is .22lr ammo less reliable, sure, because of its design, but I can honestly say with premium ammo, CCI Stingers, Mini Mags ect, I can't remember the last time I had a bad round, and I work for a gun store so I am still able to shoot 1000's of .22's because I get first dibs on it.
I see all too many times guys bring their wives or girlfriends in and tell them what they NEED. Rather then even let them pick and choose and get someone else's opinion on the matter. A Glock 19 is a wonderful gun don't get me wrong but most women will not end up carrying it, heck most guys will ditch it some something smaller and lighter. We can sit here and tell people till we are blue in the face to practice and take classes and dress around the gun which we all know is the best advice, but im assuming your dentist also tells you that you should be flossing daily as well and I would bet over 50% of you don't.
Having owned a LCP Ruger gave me for free for selling a boat load of them I can honestly say I would never recommend them to anyone as a SD gun except for maybe a back up. More times than not we sell them and the people bring them back complaining about the recoil. The gun weighs 4oz, it is so tiny in .380 that they are not very pleasant to shoot. Some carry gun's aren't I get that, I owned a SW 340PD. However just because someone is looking to carry a gun or keep one in the house for personal protection, does not mean they are going to be a gun aficionado.
The best advice anyone can give her is hold and if AT ALL POSSIBLE shoot as many different guns as she can until she finds one she likes.... regardless of caliber.
I get the same crap regurgitated over and over all day at the shop. Even guys who are regulars who know me know I generally carry a 1911 in .45 and look at me sideways when I stand up for a .22lr or .32acp or .380's and 5.7x28.. or 9mm to the .45acp or bigger crowd. I personally carry a 4'' 1911 a lot because I grew up shooting 1911's its what I know its what I am comfortable and confident with. My favorite right now is a 9mm
I don't care about the name or the caliber stamped on the side, a persons BEST self defense gun is the one they shoot the most, hands down. I don't carry if Navy Seals and Green Berets carry it or if they don't. If someone personally spends the most trigger time with a gun and going through the motions of reloads and handling, under stress it will prove to be the best for them. If its a .22lr for your wife and a .50AE Desert Eagle for you so be it, but let people pick their own.
I just had a police officer in the store with his girlfriend and her parents picking out a handgun for her to CCW cuz shes a bartender, he told her she wanted a Ruger SR9c, so I simply asked how she planned to carry it, and she said she wasn't sure, probably on her body because she uses a small clutch and not a purse. Body carry I think is great but based on her wardrobe of Yoga pants and a shirt that barely covered her navel I doubt she will end up trying to IWB carry a SR9c. I showed her the SW M&P Shield, explained it has a manual and trigger safety just like the Ruger, both great guns, but its skinnier and more comfortable to carry, she liked it, but her cop BF told her she needed the Ruger.
I will bet money she will end up trading it back in on a smaller gun sometime in the next month, because I see it happen ALL the time.
I am not one of these gun nuts that wear a vest or a fanny pack at all times I am in my twenties so I still dress "normal" and it is easy for me in the winter to pass off a full size gun under a button up or a hoody or jacket and jeans. In the summer when I am usually in shorts and a golf polo sometimes I switch to a smaller firearm depending on the situation. The important part is HAVING a gun on you, and not getting one that you will end up leaving at home because its too cumbersome.