Since this thread seems to now be about cats in general, I thought I would post one of my favorites - a humorous poem about Schrodinger's Cat that made the rounds of the physics world a decade or more ago. If you have a scientific bent (Rob?), I know you'll enjoy it, if not, I hope you enjoy it. Schrodinger's cat was a thought problem Erwin Schrodinger gave to illustrate one aspect of quantum mechanics. Schrodinger is one of my favorite people of all time, a modern renaissance man. (The "poem" is pretty long, but I figure this thread will be locked soon anyway due to its length.)
The Quantum Mechanics Poem!
Schrodinger, Erwin! Professor of physics!
Wrote daring equations! Confounded his critics!
Win saw that the theory that Newton'd invented
By Einstein's discoveries had been badly dented.
What now? wailed his colleagues. Said Erwin, "Don't panic
No grease monkey I, but a quantum mechanic.
Consider electrons. Now, these teensy articles
Are sometimes like waves, and sometimes like particles.
If that's not confusing, the nuclear dance
Of electrons and such is governed by chance!
No sweat, though - my theory permits us to judge
Where some of 'em is and the rest of them was."
Not everyone bought this. It threatened to wreck
The comforting linkage of cause and effect.
E'en Einstein had doubts, and so Schrodinger tried
To tell him what quantum mechanics implied.
Said Win to Al, "Brother, suppose we've a cat,
And inside a tube we have put that cat at -
Along with with a card deck and a bag of some Fritoes,
A bottle of water, a couple mosquitoes
And, oh, if you got 'em, one vial prussic acid,
One decaying atom, and something that's rancid.
But when the atom finally emits,
A trigger device blasts the vial to bits
Which snuffs our poor kitty. The odds of this crime
Are 50 to 50 per hour each time.
The cylinder's sealed. The hour's passed away. Is
Our pussy still purring - or pushing up daisies?
Now, *you'ld* say the cat either lives or it don't.
But quantum mechanics is stubborn and won't.
Statistically speaking, the cat (goes the joke),
Is half a cat breathing and half a cat croaked.
To some this may seem a ridiculous split,
But quantum mechanics must answer, "Tough sh!t"
We may not know much, but one thing's fo' sho':
There's things in the cosmos we cannot know.
Shine light on electrons - you'll cause them to swerve.
The act of observing disturbs the observed -
Which ruins your test. But if there's no testing
To see if a particle's moving or resting
Why try to conjecture - pure useless endeavor!
We know probability. Certainty? Never.'
The effect of this notion? I very much fear
'Twill make doubtful all things that were formerly clear.
Til soon the cat doctors will say in reports,
"We've just flipped a coin and we learned he's a corpse."
So said Herr Erwin. Quoth Albert, "You're nuts.
God doesn't play dice with the universe, putz!
I'll prove it!" he said, and Lord knows he tried -
In vain - until fin'ly he more or less died.
Win spoke at the funeral: "Listen, dear friends,
Sweet Al was my buddy, I must make amends.
Though he doubted my theory, I'll say this for the saint:
Ten-to-one he's in heaven - but five bucks says he ain't."