Do you think it's possible to stand firm on ones rights & beliefs, and still be respectful to an officer? (I do and have proven it, I didn't go to jail that day!)
I agree with that. A neutral tone of voice, no names or epithets hurled, and no posturing will show that, while you respect his authority, you do recognize your rights.
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"Mr. XXX, I'd like permission to search your person for YYY."
"I'm sorry, officer, I refuse permission for you to search me. What is your probable cause?"
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Keep in mind that even an attitude may be generated into PC. For example, if, at that point, you take off running, you WILL be searched when you're caught. If he's a clean cop, he'll tell you why he wants to search, and will respect your refusal. If he's a dirty cop, he'll come up with something. Unless I'm mistaken, the officer IS allowed to search for weapons in order to protect himself. This should only be a brief "patdown" looking for guns or knives that can obviously be felt through the clothing. The officer is also allowed to search (for weapons only) the area in the vehicle that you can reach when he stopped you. He can't search a locked glove compartment unless the key is in the lock. He cannot search the trunk, for example, without PC. If any illegal item is in plain sight (like a roach in the ashtray), that's plenty of probable cause.
He also has the option of holding you, either at the scene, or at the station, while he convinces the DA and a judge of his PC and obtains a warrant. Very few LEOs will go to this extent unless they're pretty sure they'll find something.
A couple of times police have come to my door, either acting on a call from me, or from a local situation. When they requested that we talk inside my home, I politely refused and stepped out on the porch to chat. They were professionals who said and did nothing about my legal refusal of access.