Creative answers to the question: "Are you carrying?"

Since I teach at a University (and carry is currently prohibited by law) I find it interesting that I get this question from time to time.

In class I've come up with a couple of satisfactory answers:

1. Smile, look right at the questioner, "That would be illegal."

My students did not overlook that I did not answer the direct question, so it leaves the answer ambiguous.

2. Smile, look right at the questioner, "Would it make you want to study harder if the answer was 'yes'?"

For what it's worth, any student of game theory understands that an important element of concealment is the doubt a criminal has. Even people who don't carry will benefit if a criminal just can't be certain. So I like to play the uncertainty card, but I like to do it in a playful sassy way.

When a colleague asked me in the hallway a few days ago, I just smiled, looked at him, and said, "I might be." I remarked to the student next to me that the question was very serendipitous (since we were on our way to the parking lot to make our way to the local shooting range).
 
My few close friends would never ask because they know the answer already. If anyone did ask me, I'd look surprised and I'd ask "why ask me a crazy question like that?" Then I'd move on to another topic. If they persisted, I'd tell 'em to cut it out with their crazy questions, to leave me alone.
 
Okay, for whatever reason, it is possible that someone wonders if you are carrying or not. For some who are less inhibited, or maybe a friend who knows you participate in shooting sports, they may just come out and ask you:

"Are you carrying?"

What would be your three best creative answers that would best defuse the situation without answering the question directly?
Click to expand...

Wow, that completely depends on who is asking and how they are asking.

For example my wife has, in certain situations, (crossing a BIG, VERY dark store parking lot at night) asked me. In that case she gets a simple, reassuring answer.

Asked by a business owner once, my reply was "Yes, is there a problem?"

On the other hand I had a friend of a friend who seemed to think it was all a big joke to loudly ask me if I was "packin' today" when we were out in various public places. I finally got fed up one afternoon and the conversation went like this.
Him: "Hey man, you PACKIN' today?" (snide tone used loudly and in public)
Me: (in my best condescending tone) "Hey man, you stopped beating your wife yet?

If memory serves that was pretty much the last time he chose to talk to me. :D
 
I too used the "colostomy bag.. thanks for pointing out my handicap" on a guy who needed a good verbal slapping. My four general answers are situation specific:
"Yup"
"Maybe"
"Why do you ask?"
"No Sir/Ma'am."

I use them interchangably depending on who's asking, where I am and what my mood is. All of which basically means it's Nobody's Damn Business But Mine.

And once, when I was feeling charitable, I answered the question this way:
"You know, my granddaddy lived to be almost 90 years old. You know how? By minding his own {deleted} business."
 
Say, I'm a diabetic and thats my meter. The person asking will feel like jerk and you might get a free candy bar out of it.
Click to expand...

I've used almost the same line. I tell them it's my insulin pump. Cut's them off real quick.
 
"I'll tell you if you tell me what color underwear you're wearing."

"Maybe I'm just happy to see you."

"What, and ruin the surprise?"

Some of those in my life know the answer's always yes, the others have no clue and no reason to ask.
 
My colostomy bag. Can you help me change it?
Click to expand...

That's great! I have a friend who has a bag on his side, don't you ever ask him what that is under his shirt, he'll show you. Lot's of fun at the airport! :barf:


To answer the OP's question, *not quite grabbing crotch but putting hands in the area* "I'm just a humble man with a big, uh, gun. Well, I guess I'm not that humble." :D (I would never say that)

Or "No."

Or "Fifteen in the clip and one in the hole. Mess with me, I make yo' body turn cold." (I would never say that either)
 
Yup,

A 44 mag, I'll blow your head clean off :cool:

Do you still want my wallet, watch & cell phone? :D

Mine's bigger than yours :eek:

So my girlfriend tells me :D
 
Stranger asks: Stranger has never asked and if they did I would ignore them like I don't know what they are talking about.

Wife asks: Either: "Duh." or "nope. They sell beer here and I'm having four."
Friends ask (who also do): We just say to each other, "You?" and answer, "Yep. You?" It's a courtesy when we go to each other's houses. If we are going to drink beers watching the game they go in the person's house safe. Every time.
 
In the immortal words of Mark Wahlberg in The Departed:
"maybe yes, maybe no. Maybe go **** yourself."

Them: "Are you carrying?"
You: "Ah, I bet you're just dying to find out ;)"
 
Why would someone ask you that? I can't say that anyone has ever asked me.

I will say that I have an old friend who constantly gets comments, but he brings it on himself. He constantly seems to be "accidentally" flashing his gun. Of course, he also constantly tells everyone he was a former cop (with about 3 months service time).

If your gun is concealed, no one should be asking you.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top