The best handgun hollowpoint projectiles for "very high speed" use are Gold Dots - across most calibers. The Gold Dot jacket is a thick copper electroplate over the lead core - it sticks to the lead better than most other jacket types.
The only competitor to the Gold Dot in the "don't shed the jacket" sweepstakes is the Hornady XTP, and it doesn't expand as fat or as fast - it's a "deep punch" design.
Because Gold Dots don't fly apart when driven beyond their design specs, they're the slug of choice for Buffalo Bore and DoubleTap Ammo. Both of those outfits drive 125gr and 158gr Gold Dot slugs to bat-outta-hell speeds. Of the two, Buffalo Bore is a bit hotter and a bit more of a "careful load" overall - narrower speed gaps between rounds in the same gun, a bit more accuracy.
That said, I have some remaining 2006-era DoubleTap 125gr 357Mag full house rounds. One of which blew up a bowling ball at 20 paces, sent fist-sized pieces of the concrete core back past my feet.
The 45ACP and 40S&W don't have as much energy on tap. I would bet my Doubletaps against any load in either of those calibers shooting any possible load. And I think the BuffBore version would be better yet, although pricey
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BUT!!!
There's a penalty for really big power in a smaller bullet. Two, actually.
First, if you look at efficiency related to raw energy, a 45ACP load with 450ft/lbs of energy on tap can do as much stopping as a 40S&W load with 500ft/lbs energy, or a 357Mag with 550-600ft/lbs energy. In other words, as the bullet get narrower, you have to compensate with more raw power.
Second, the 45ACP can do very effective stopping with subsonic loads. The 357Magnum absolutely cannot - not in the same class anyways. To match or exceed 45ACP effectiveness the 357 has to go supersonic, with a major increase in noise, esp. indoors. (I'm told that some of the 40S&W 180gr barely-subsonic loads are pretty effective; I don't know if the best 45ACPs exceed the best 40S&W subsonics but it wouldn't surprise me if they did. That said, law enforcement seems to prefer the 40S&W 155gr supersonic loads.)
Now, that noise factor with edgy 357s isn't all bad. Lt. Col. Dave Grossman's book "On Killing" goes into the psychological factors of warfare, including big noises. I strongly suspect this translates into personal defense...fire an edgy full-house 357 load at one of a pack of goblins and with or without a hit, the message is "look out, dude's got a cannon!"
I also suspect, but have no proof, that very high-energy 357 loads involving 125gr projectiles MIGHT shatter bone if they hit the rib or sternum on the way in, sending secondary bone projectiles inwards. I don't think any subsonic loads will do that. Some of the edgier 135gr 40S&Ws might, and the better flavors of 10mm probably have as much chance as the best 125gr 357s if not more.
The other issue is recoil. I carry a 42oz gun. In plain terms, it's not very size-efficient and carrying it daily is a chore - but I do it without fail. I simply like this gun...and if all I have is six rounds, I want to make them very, very serious.