Nightcrawler,
I respect the choices you've posted as being promising in this thread. We all have slightly different takes on this, but here are some of MY ideas:
I will not produce my sidearm unless I am in the process of bringing it to bear, so my assailant will have virtually NO time to run, as this would also be time he could be attacking me- in other words, if I cannot disengage, I will present and fire. I do not think the vast majority of threats will have time to assume "non-threat" status before perforation.
It is hard enough to hit COM under stress, much less CNS with a handgun.
It rather sounds like you're saying that powerful hunting rounds should be used for defensive purposes. I would comment that platforms for more powerful rounds are also heavier and more difficult to conceal; that heavier recoil from a handgun will greatly slow your ability to address multiple threats, or correct that shot that "couldn't" be missed; that your own flash and noise impulse may essentially remove your ability to fight effectively during the time periods when you will face your stereotypical, statistically mandated criminal attack that will cease once 2.3 rounds are expended.
If you fire COM-twice- and the threat is still a threat, one transitions to either pelvic shots or aims the next round at the cranial "box" (in some schools, a triangle). This is pretty basic instruction. Try doing this, quickly, with full-bore .357 loads.
What if attacked by a gang? Well, I remember, a few years ago, a group of citizens with concealed arms were confronted by a gang wielding firearms within twenty miles of where I sit. One citizen used movement and shooting skills to engage the gang, at no injury to himself. (Only one other citizen even got his firearm out before the shooting was over.)
Let me remind you that the Alamo was not "won", if you believe victory is always equal to survival. [I would counter that the Alamo was OVERRUN, but that the Texans did, indeed, win, because their objective (slowing the Mexican advance to the degree that the main Texan force could close) was accomplished.]
We must define winning very carefully. If you define it (as I do) as doing the right thing, I hope to always win.
As far as what we WANT, I WANT no crime at all. I WANT no "worse neighborhood", and no REASON for police, no strikes, and certainly no rioting, or power outages.
My best friend happens to have walked unscathed through the situations you describe, at times with the original "wondernine", the Hi-Power. At another time, he was surrounded by dangerous men, while he held only a 5 shot .38*.
In the last case, my friend cooly advised the ringleader of where all 5 rounds would be placed if an attempt on his life were made. In other words, discretion is indeed the better part of valor...but there may be times when we walk through the fire. I will not count on my potential opponents having the good sense not to engage me. In those times, I plan on using what I am comfortable with, and my comfort goes up when I carry more ammo.
Use what works for you, but be sure you've tried it, before you believe you know. Good luck.
*in this case, my friend had his Charter Arms in his rear pocket, and was "made". He was threatened with robbery (which would have certainly ended with his death, I believe), because he only had that .38. If my friend had been wearing clothing that allowed carry of his Hi-Power, the ringleader might have been a little less eager to taunt him about what he could accomplish "with your five-shot revolver".