What Would You Say?

It seems to me that you overreacted to what you friend said to you. I know that even if I had to buy everything on that trip, it would be nice because I would have friend to hang out with, that actually shares my interests in guns.

I have a friend who didn't pay for it one time, but the next time, he offered to pay for my part. It is just a give and take type of thing.
 
Well, if I were in a "situation" as you describe (good friends, long time friends, good relationship between wives, and all that), I'd simply ignore the statement for the most part.

In the future, if I invited him to go shooting, it would be with the understandting that he would be able to use my guns.

However, if he invited ME to go shooting, I'd probably leave the 2nd gun at home, assuming he'd finally bought one. If we got to the range and he didn't have one, I'd claim a misunderstanding on that assumption. I'm sort of ornery that way.

I'd also take my wife shooting, and I'd try to get my wife to get HIS wife into shooting. It can be addicting once you get them started. ;)

Daryl
 
Funny this thread was made because I have been in the exact same position.

In a nutshell, my good friend was one who got me into firearms. Although I dont hunt, all of my family members do and Ive been raised in an 'outdoorsy' type family, yet havent gotten into shooting until this year.

His dad is a gun collector and has over 400 long guns and probably 50 semiauto handguns and about 100 revolvers. Yeah, a lot. He obviously gained all of his knowledge of shooting and whatnot through his father. His father was actually marked in the top 10 shooters of North America or something for professional shooting. Now with over 600+ weapons, my friend gets to shoots anything in his dads collection he wants. He tells me about how he has this and that and this revolver that was 1 of 10 and this shotgun that was 1 of 5 and this and that everytime we started talking about shooting. Dont get me wrong, it was very interesting to hear about all of his dads collection and whatnot, but give me a break....it got to the point where I wanted to tell him to shut the hell up. Oh, and weve been friends for a while and he loves bragging about the whole collection and how he shoots all these guns and stuff. Keep in mind, I had NEVER shot with his dad, never shot with him, Ive seen a handful of his dads collection but other than that, havent seen much.

Anyway, I start my firearms collection and get two 22's and its time for my friend and I to finally go to the range since I got something. The first time we go I bring my two .22's, a pistol and gsg. I bring my own ammo, own guns obviously, I drive there (3 hour round trip) and pay for the 'walk in' fee (both of ours).

Ok, no biggie. Its on me...ok, 'everything' is on me. I ask him why he didnt bring any ammo or guns and he beats around the bush saying that he doesnt think his dad can let him borrow one of the million guns he has. 'Thats ridiculous', I think, but ok Il llet it slide.

Fast forward a few more range days, and he is still doing the same thing. I ask him to at least drive to the range, and he gives me some lame excuse of how the a/c went in his Durango and he doesnt wanna drive it. I think, 'hmmm..you drive it an hour round trip to work everyday. These excuses are getting lame..'. Hes a really good friend of mine and hes going through some rough times (divorce, lost his job etc) so I say ok, I dont mind doing favors so Ill spot him some more 'range time'.

We go about 2 or 3 more times and by now its getting too much. Im driving down there every time, hes shooting my guns and my ammo, Im buying him food, the walk in fee etc. I dont mind spotting money or doing favors but shooting is anything but cheap (even with .22's). I ask him when the heck is he gonna bring any guns to shoot. He says hes looking at a 1911, but he doesnt have enough money for it. I ask him again why he cant bring any of his dads, and he gives me some excuse of how all of them are 'old' and he doesnt wanna transport them around and get into trouble (no serial numbers). Uhh, ok I think...

By now, your probably gonna ask, 'well why didnt you just stop inviting him to the range?'. Good point. One, he is one of my very good friends and I have known him for over 10 years. Two, he has done so many favors for me and has spotted me money for some things (although not as much as what he owes me haha). Three, hes just an all around good friend. And four, he knows a LOT about weapons and the first few times I went to the range, it was good to have him there just in case something happened (jam, problem with gun etc) and he would take care of it or know what was up.

So he texts me and asks when are we going to the range again. By now, I didnt mind taking him out the few times but its getting too much. I text him back with something along the lines of, 'maybe you should drive this time...or at least buy me some ammo'. So he texts me back all mad about how I should stop complaining about this stuff and hes gonna pay me back no problem and this and that. I think, 'damnit, I really didnt want this to happen. I just wanted him to realize its getting a little to much'. He took it the wrong way, or at least in a way I didnt wanna go towards.

Fast forward to present time. For some reason, he disappeared off the face of the planet. Ive called him numerous times only to go straight to his voice mail, Ive called his job and they say hes unavailable, I dont know his ex-wifes number so I cant ask her where the hell he is. I dont really care about all the range time and crap he owed me for, it was more or less on me, but he said how he 'was' going to pay me back somehow...maybe with one of his dads old 1911's from the 30's. Yet I have gotten nothing, he disappeared, and I havent heard from him for the past 2 weeks.

So after these past 10 paragraphs, whats the moral of the story? Do friends favors but dont go overboard. I did more than I had to and usually I do that a lot, with favors and helping friends out (hey, theyre good friends, its hard to say no!) but now I learned to chill out a little bit. I wasnt expecting him to owe me, it would have been nice but whatever. I just wanna see where the heck he is or what hes doing by now, Im kind of scared something bad happened and since I am not friends with his friends (older than I am), theres not much I can do. I dunno.

Sorry for the long read.


Edit: Wrote all that and didnt get to my point! haha. If I were in your situation, I would ask if he would mind throwing you a few bucks everytime you shot, or buying some ammo for both of you to shoot. If my friend didnt disappear, thats what I would have said. Just something, ANYTHING to help me out. Even if he bought me lunch in return for letting him shoot, that would be great...just little things like that to assure me he appreciated allowing him to use my stuff.

If he gives you excuses or something, I wouldnt pursue asking him to go the range anymore. Have him buy his own gun and then you guys go shooting. Thats what I would do with my friend. As soon as he brought something, heck yeah lets go! But up until then, if your not gonna appreciate my letting you use all of my stuff, good friend or not, GTFO.
 
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OK then. We have a real study in human nature with this one.

Here's the way it actually went down:

When I told my friend that I had acquired a gun that he could have at an excellent price, just exactly what I paid for it, he said he didn't want to buy it as his wife preferred he not have a gun in the house. His next comment was, "Why should I buy a gun when I could shoot yours for free?"

As a good friend, I respected his thinking of his wife's feelings. It is not my desire to cause any conflict between any couple. I completely understood that even keeping a gun in my safe would be a violation of the trust between those two.

I also know that my buddy will not be an addictive shooter, a couple of times a year at most and he is more than welcome to use any one of my guns anytime he wants, as long as I can shoot with him. I must admit that I would have a difficult time letting one of my guns out of my sight. I would feel better loaning my car before I loan out a gun...go figure. I have no problem with cleaning an extra gun as I enjoy taking the guns down and cleaning them almost as much as I enjoy shooting them.

That night, I emailed my pal and told him I thought he was a cheap so and so and then he told me where to stick it. We both enjoyed a good laugh and were together with our wives a few nights later out to a night club for some laughs, dinner, drinks, a good show and even some dancing. He didn't miss an opportunity to brag about how well he shot and how much he enjoyed my gun. Of course, I had to tell him it was best gun ever and he is the only person I would trust to hold it, never mind shoot it.

Good friends are not easy to come by.....I mean really good friends. We understand each other and respect each other's feelings.

Thanks for everyone that participated in my experiment. The human mind works in curious ways. And when it comes to shooting with a buddy, you have to be confident that he is going to exercise safety on the range so he won't accidently shoot himself, or worse, you.
 
I know where I live it would not be legal for me to let someone else take possesion of a handgun registered to me.
 
COULD he have been more diplomatic with his response? Absolutely....sounds like he also might be afraid of ticking off his wife if she found out he spent money o a gun, even if he left it at your house.

Since he splits the costs, that's a non-issue, but next time, have him over and show him how to clean the gun and let him clean the one he is using.

Either the friendship is worth having or it's not - you indicated it was worth it, so don't make something out of nothing
 
Oh yeah, I forgot to include in my story that my friend, after shooting my p22 and gsg quite a bunch of times (and obviously having good fun with them), told me that he thought they both shot like crap and didnt like either of them.

You can bet that that was the last time he was going to be allowed to shoot them. And that was the last range day until he vanished..
 
You describe him as a "very close friend," and he feels close enough to you to be very blunt, not impolite, just very candid. He likes to shoot, but doesn't have the cash or the interest to own a gun of his own, at least not the one you offered. You've got a shooting buddy willing to be honest with you. That's a good thing. Better he say what he said than buy the gun, unwillingly, and harbor resentment. You expected him to be grateful and excited that you thought of him, fronted him money and made this effort for him, but it didn't work out like that. Let it go, enjoy your friend and the time you spend together.
 
Dont get you feelings hurt by his comment and offer to take to the range. This guy really needs something Manly to do because his wife took his "manhood and put it in her COACH bag" ! :(
 
I'd ask him if he'd lend me his wife for the weekend.

If he was offended by that, I'd tell him to stop and think about it for a while.

And we wouldn't be going shooting together again any time soon. If ever.
 
I wouldn't think twice about it if it was indeed a true friend. True friends are far too few and life is far too short. However I do think this poster nailed the bullseye.

The problem here is that you're doing it in the wrong order. Find your buddy a new wife first, then get him a new gun.
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I'm coming into this a little late since the whole time I was reading this thread I was thinking "Man, I hope 45Gunner hasn't replied yet, I want to answer before he fills us in." But I am happy to say, I would have handled it in a very similar way.

The way I see it, the only thing you REALLY have in life is family and friends. I have an average sized family (4 immediate relatives and about 20 extended family, a few of which I keep in touch with.), and only a handful of friends. Any one of which could call me at 3 in the morning asking me for my last penny.....I wouldn't give it to them, but I would do anything I could to get them one of their own.:D

My point is: For me, family and friends are worth more than anything I could ever hold in my hands. IMHO you did exactly the right thing.:cool:
 
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There are a TON of ill advised posts and non-sense. To me, OP, it sounds like he's a good friend of yours who just don't have the need to own his own gun. If he's only going to the range two or three times a year with you, why does he need to get into it with his wife over it? He doesn't. He's no interested in starting a fight with the Mrs. or putting his family at risk by having a firearm in the house. Sounds like you two are great friends, and in the same position, I'd've probably done exactly the same.

Also: There's a lot of talk in this that basically equates women to being the lesser of guns. That's a pretty abysmal cross section of the people who enjoy this sport and I'm hoping it's all in jest. This man obviously respects his wife's wishes, but if this thread is to be believe: not many of you respect woman. Just thought I'd point that out.
 
I know where I live it would not be legal for me to let someone else take possesion of a handgun registered to me.
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As a CPL holder you can use anyone's handgun you choose. As long as it is legally registered. That is if you still reside in Michigan.
 
Luckily, i don't own any land. Why, because the place i go shoot (not a range, just an old clay oil drilling pit) is owned by the family of a friend of my nephew who enjoys target shooting. This is a good kid who has very rarely been too busy to go to the pit for a bit. I gladly allow him to use my rifle and pistol when he tires of his 10-22. Another friend has a WASR10; we have all tried it out at the same pit. I have not asked the guy who has access to the shooting area to pitch in on ammo or anything, and he hasn't asked me to buy another pit for us all to go shoot in. It works out pretty well, because everybody brings something different to the day.
 
Interesting exercize.

Based on a little bit of information (and some of it possibly misleading) it's possible to draw all sorts of conclusions on what to do, or say, next. Many conclusions could tell you more about the person suggesting them than about what to do next.

*First off the op sets up the thread in such a way that it's easy to assume that something his friend said irritated him. But the op doesn't say it did directly.

"Heck Bro, why should I buy a truck to haul stuff when I can borrow yours next time I buy a new couch?" If said jokingly it's light banter. If the speaker assumes he can borrow my stuff whenever he wants, well he's wrong and I'd let him know. But in this thread the op no where says that what his friend said ****** him off.

*Maybe the op can't write but no where does he say that his friend can't own a gun because his wife objects. What he said was that he told his friend he could keep a gun he owned in his safe in case his wife objected. "In case" didn't say she would or did. He may have been joking with his friend for all we know.

Not enough info to draw conclusions.

Write a letter to Dear Abby maybe on how to handle this. She'll have good advice.

tipoc
 
well, i say what others said already- new wife then new toy. or just pull it out as a condolence and ask if he wants to own one when he's getting divorced.
 
The OP can write...

... but maybe you had a slight reading problem, Tipoc. It happens to the best of us.

From the OP:

He used to shoot but gave it up when he got married to his present bride as she didn't want any guns in the house.
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Cheers,

M
 
My reply would have been "why do I need a wife when I can use yours":eek: I don't consider people like that friends, just vultures of opportunity. I lend things out to friends, but only friends that understand life is a two way street, and will take care of what's lent and return what's lent.
 
Your buddy does'nt want to own a firearm and feels free to use yours at the range when you both go to shoot there.

No drama,that's just how he thinks about firearms.

He'll be glad to foot his part of the bill.

It just sounded worse than it really was.

I think you might have assumed he was into shooting more than he actually was.

It's nice to have a friend that enjoys your sport as much as you do but not many people really enjoy firearms shooting these days.

And that's kind of sad.

I would say,"That's cool,I saw this was a great deal and thought I'd offer it to you.I'm going shooting next week,you want to go?"
 
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