What Would You Say?

4

45Gunner

New member
I have a very close friend that I took to the range recently, giving him one of my favorite 1911's to shoot. He used to shoot but gave it up when he got married to his present bride as she didn't want any guns in the house.

At the end of the shooting session, I reclaimed my 1911 and we split all the range expenses. Then off to lunch where we once again split all the expenses. That's what friends do. He never offered to clean the weapon he shot but that was all right as I am a bit anal on how clean is clean for me.

A recent opportunity arose for me to buy two identical, brand new 1911's, the name brand makes no difference to the story. The deal was one I couldn't pass up and I bought both guns, knowing full well that one of my friends would be happy to take it off my hands for what I paid for it.

I gave this guy right of first refusal, telling him he could have his very own gun when we go shooting and I would even be happy to keep it in my safe for him so not to cause any conflict with his wife. He said, "Why should I buy a gun when I can use yours?" His answer took me by surprise and I didn't respond to it nor did he push me for an answer.

Now that I think about it, I should have handled it different but I would like to hear how you would have handled it. By the way, I sold that extra gun to the very next friend I told about the deal. He recognized a good buy when he heard it.

Once I hear your opinions, I'll tell you what I finally did to handle this situation.
 
Apparently You are the ONLY person that takes him shooting. I would not consider it an insult or anything derogatory, unless he has another buddy that he shoots with, then he can take a long hike before taking advantage of my friendship.

But it simply sounds like you are his only shootin' bro and he see's it as unnecessary to own one, conflict at home or not.


koolminx
 
Agreed, it sounds like he feels he just dosen't shoot enough to warrent owning his own. He probably figures he only goes when he goes with you and only because you have a gun for him to use.
 
Seems like he's maybe being a little bit of a mooch, but heck, if he doesn't want to have a gun then he certainly doesn't have to. And, by the same token, if you don't feel like taking him to the range then by all means don't. No relationship is perfectly 50/50, I don't think. In some relationships, you give a little bit more, in others you get a little bit more.

One of my best buddies owes me at least $100 worth of beer over the past few years, but heck, he's a helluva lot of fun to drink with, he buys my drinks plenty, and it's not really his fault he's broke, so who cares.
 
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Did you ask your friend if he wanted his own gun before buying on for him? If you did and he changed his mind he should have told you in advance. In which case I would have been very angry about the situation and his response. If you made the purchase assuming he would buy it from you, it's your mistake. Either way you sold the extra gun. How you handle your friendship from here is up to you. I don't mind letting friends who are causaul shooters go with me and use my guns, especially if they are willing to split range time and ammo cost.
 
as long as he pays for the ammo, and you prefer to clean your own guns, I guess its ok, he could have been a bit more diplomatic.
 
Cars, dogs, diamond rings, and firearms...

... are all bad ideas to buy for another, without their input.

Your friend's lack of interest in buying could have been based on any number of things, besides "mooching."

He could be the type who doesn't keep things from his spouse, and figure that it would upset her for him to use somewhat devious means to have "his own" gun.

He could have other priorities for his money; families will do that to you.

It might be that he only goes shooting with you, as somebody already suggested, and so he really doesn't see the benefit to having his own. It would be something else if he meant to borrow your weapons in order to go out shooting with other people.

He might just not have any spare cash.

Given the current economy, a lot of people are not in a good position to acquire firearms. I've given one buddy the long term loan of a shotgun and a revolver. He may eventually buy both from me, but for now he's hurting; he has a small business with profits tied to the housing market.

If you think highly enough of your friend that you wanted to get him a good 1911, you should think highly enough of him not to get unduly upset that he didn't opt to buy a weapon you didn't ask him about.

Just my $.02.
 
I may have given him a little "friendly flak" about the "I'll just use Yours" comment, but that would've been all in fun...

If he's a pretty good friend, I'd just see how the friendship goes, and as long as he didn't "abuse" those privileges, I say You've got a decent friend, and a good range buddy. Ya'll split the range costs and lunch, so he apparently isn't in it just for a free ride.
 
Depends on how often you take him and how close a friend he

really is. I don't think he would be someone I would ask to go shoot often... maybe 2 or 3 times a year.
 
...it could also be that he'd love to have it but he's a mousy guy that won't try to stand up to his wife when it comes to owning one of his own, but to save face and keep from having his "man card" pulled, he simply tells you it's easier just to borrow yours.
 
Lotsa people want to go shooting at the range with me, and a lot of em wont even bring ammo!! I shoot mostly alone, but people who don't own guns just dont get it, i guess.
 
Blume 357 and Christchild

The OP said the guy is a very close friend, 1.

The OP said the guy splits the check for range time, ammo, and lunch, 2.

So why would you limit shooting to 2 or 3 times a year, or think it would get expensive? The only thing the guy isn't paying for is a gun he didn't ask for in the first place.

Again, if this is a very close friend, then 45Gunner is best served just writing off the incident as a "don't buy people expensive gifts if you aren't absolutely sure they want them" thing. (Besides, 45Gunner sold the gun to the next friend in line, and lost no money at all on the deal.)

It amazes me how often people are willing to consider downgrading or writing off friendships, or good relationships with neighbors, over really trivial stuff. I have some very close friends, but not enough that I'd want to lose any of them over something not only unimportant, but also of my own creation.

Peace, out.

M
 
Would not worry about a thing. Sounds like a good friend, but he really has no options when the wife calls all the shots.
 
I agree with Sevens and the posibility of his 'man card' being pulled. Probably the reason he responded the way he did when asked he if wanted to buy the other 1911. The guys paying for half of everything, using your gun which you choose to clean your way. Don`t see a problem. Big difference in acquaintence`s and a good friend. A good friend doesn`t come along very often in life. Don`t get taken advantage of but cherish the ones you have.;)
 
I have friends and aquaintances that like to go shooting with me, and most women I've known change their view of guns the first time they have a brush with violence/death due to a criminal. My mom hated guns until she walked into her home alone one day and a couple of urban youths were armed wearing masks and gloves. one had her taurus 9mm in his hand. she ran and got away to a neighbor's house, but now only feels safe with her 38 in the purse or pocket. Your friend may come around and buy a gun, maybe it'll just have to be on his wife's dime. If not, he's still paying his way.
 
It appears that he doesn't shoot often enough to justify the expense and the aggravation of buying or having the gun. I believe he could have told you what he did using a much better choice of words. If he's a good friend otherwise, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.
 
He could be the type who doesn't keep things from his spouse, and figure that it would upset her for him to use somewhat devious means to have "his own" gun.
Click to expand...

Does such an entity exist or is this an urban myth?:p

In this instance, I'd just offer it to the next person. Only take this particular friend shooting when you want the company and don't feel obligated to go otherwise. At least he's paying his part...and I don't want other people cleaning my guns anyway. Half the fun is in the post-shooting fondling.:D
 
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