If I ever do have to defend myself I plan to come out of it alive and unharmed so what kind of mind set should I adopt? I know on top of being able to hit what i'm aiming at I need to be able to get my gun out the holster quick but I feel like there is even more to it than that. Please share your insights.
Your mindset should be one of self-protection throughout the entire sequence of events. The "attack" is just the second part; you must keep court in mind at all times. This does not mean you should paralyze yourself for fear of court. I am suggesting that you know the law and have a series of rehearsed questions and answers that are designed to minimize damage to your court case. This is just part of the training.
In no particular order (suggested instructors in parens):
1) Handling compliant attackers (You have them at gun point, they gave up, now what?)
2) Handling witnesses
3) Handling police and 911 -- KNOW YOUR RIGHTS, especially your positive assertion of your 5th Amendment right to STFU!
4) Wound/trauma management (Greg Ellifritz)
5) Law and nuances (just because you can doesn't mean you should) (Mas Ayoob, local attorneys)
6) How to choose an attorney. Get a few self-defense attorneys' contact info. (Mas Ayoob)
7) Tactics and so forth as mentioned earlier
8) How to use a knife and WHEN to go to the knife
9) Unarmed combatives and WHEN to use combatives
10) When and how to move
11) Shooting at moving targets while moving yourself. (Roger Phillips, "Point Shooting Progressions")
12) Gun safety and gun safety while carrying a defensive handgun. (Don't shoot a hole in your pants!)
13) Vehicles
14) Movement through structures (SouthNarc AMIS)
15) Handling firearm malfunctions
16) Low light shooting
17) Scenarios and role playing with Airsoft/Simunitions. This is very important. (ECQC, many other instructors)
18) Learn all about initiative (Roger Phillips, "Point Shooting Progressions")
The single two most beneficial classes I have ever taken are SouthNarc's ECQC course and my first two day defensive pistol course.
#17 is very important. Firearms, Research and Instructions' Level 3 class included scenarios. One included a male on top of a female punching her. My friend decided to intervene. He ended up shooting the male. She charged him and stabbed him as he got several rounds into her. He was intervening in a domestic violence event in which the female stabbed the male several times. The male was in the process of defending himself (we learned this in the AAR which would have included witness interviews). At least two role players "died"; he was "stabbed" in the belly.