WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A POLICE OFFICER

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True story.

I was a rookie just out of traffic school. It was a sunny spring day and a very cute young lady in a t-top with thepanels out drove past me. She had on a top with two very fine string ties holding it up and her seat belt under her arm instead of over her shoulder, obviously working on her tan as she drove.

Pulled her over, told her why I'd stopped her and asked her why she was wearing the seat belt like that, cause if she stopped suddenly her face could go into the steering wheel.

These things happened.

1. She shrugged her shoulders
2. The ties to her top came undone and the whole lot fell down exposing her breasts.
3. Her friend beside her burst out laughing.
4. I got so embarased and so fearful of a complaint I couldn't look at anything except the ground.

What a wasted opportunity.
 
I stopped a convertible just south of Sandy Beach one fine morning (70/55). As I walked up to the drivers side, I pulled out my Lucky Pen, and mentally reviewed my Standard Speech #5 (Dangers of Speeding).

As I got to the door, the Sweet Young Thing (spectacularly constructed, wearing a rather brief string bikini top), turned to me, flounced in breathless excitement and exclaimed delightedly, "I've never gotten a ticket before!"

Forgot a speech I had given countless times in two years. Heck, I lost the power to talk. Breathe, too, now that I remember. And I lost my Lucky Pen. I may have swallowed it, but I'm not sure....

And no, she didn't get a ticket that time either. I sometimes wonder how many officers she's done that to...

:DLawDog
 
About 20 plus years ago I was coming up out of the keys in an old pontiac when one of our frequent afternoon heavy rains started. The windshield wipers went out on the car and were I was at on the road there was absolutely no place to pull off to the side that was safe. So I sped up until the water was blowing off the window and I could see. Until I came upon a slow moving semi truck putting out tons of water as well as the rain, this made visability even worse, so I went around him and got back up to speed. About 3 or so miles ahead of the truck I see lights in the mirror and pull over waiting for the ticket. One of the questions the cop askes while he is writing the tickett is how I got around that truck as he almost couldnt make it with the rain and water.......me being the honest type told him the truth.....had no choice the windshield wipers quit working....lol.....only a tickett for speeding.....fubsy.
 
Cop: Didn't you see that arrow?
Driver: Arrow? I didn't even see the Indians.

I always hated when I pulled an officer over from a different jurisdiction, and he flashed his badge in my face as soon as I reached the driver's door.
 
And my all time favorite thing *not* to
say during a traffic stop

"Hey! Back Off Barney!
I've gotta piece!"
 
From today's Ruminations (www.topfive.com):
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>
I think a good way to get out of a speeding ticket is to make a playful grab at the officer's revolver. He'll probably be laughing so hard, he won't be able to write the ticket.
[/quote]

And on that note, let's go ahead with Part II. We could use some laughs around here.
 
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