WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A POLICE OFFICER

Status
Not open for further replies.
"I'm not as stink as you drunk I am occifer."

"I really can't afford a ticket right now. Are you sure you're not one of those fake cops who stop people to molest them? No? Do you want to pretend you are...?"

Crank the radio and keep yelling "WHAT?" as he asks you to turn it down.

Kiffster
 
"Flip on those lights, Officer!
We can still make last call at the Legion!"

(Wispered to me by my wife, at a late night New Jersey SP traffic stop)
 
Mike Irwin: wouldn't it be "blueshifted," from the perspective of the speeder?

Yours in physics,

Mike :)

------------------
"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects." -Robert Heinlein
 
Eric,
I am glad to see someone else gets "these aren't my pants" line. It is amazing the amount of people that use that line, I just start laughing.
 
This is supposed to be a true story! :D
Old gentleman got pulled over for speeding. Officer asks what is the hurry? Old gentleman replied " I'm 75 and this is the first ere**tion I have had in 5 years and I wanted to get home to the wife before it disappeared."
Supposedly he got a police escort home with lights and siren. I don't know if it is true or not, but good story. ;)
 
Let's not forget the classic
"honest officer, i've only had two beers"
I once pulled over a young man for speeding and asked to see his racing license. He pulled out his Malibu Gran Prix racing license and handed it to me. After I got done laughing, I let him go with a warning.

------------------
NRA MEMBER? GREAT, NOW JOIN GUN OWNERS OF AMERICA
 
Hey Con, for me it's redshift. I've been going backwards in life for a LONG time. :)

Here's another line you don't want to tell a cop...

Wink at him, leer suggestively, and say "Wanna search me, officer? I might have a gun!"

------------------
Beware the man with the S&W .357 Mag.
Chances are he knows how to use it.
 
...no Officer, that's not a gun in my pocket; I'm just happy to see ya! :)

------------------
...defend the 2nd., it protects us all.
No fate but what we make...
 
One I've wanted to try but never have is: "The speed limit is 65mph. That gives me the right to travel 65 miles in one hours time, right? Well, I got behind some slow SOB back there now I figure I have to drive 80 for 15 minutes"
 
I thought it was red shift ahead of you and and blue shift to the rear, relative velocity to an approaching point and a receding point being fundamentally opposed.

OR

Have you ever thought how many people talk to your genitals through their window everyday officer ?

Say is that a Glock, only jerks shoot those, get a Lorcin like my buddy behind you.

Weren't we in rehab together ?

Is it your bullet proof vest that makes you look that fat ?

The moustach is a "gay" thing, right ?

How about we discuss this over cocktails, say 8 o'clock at my place.

Listen, if this is about that little office Christmas party thing with your wife, I was only third in line.
 
"Officer, do you know how fast you were going?"

"You pulled me over because I'm (insert race here), didn't you!"

"So, is this the bill or something?"

"I wasn't really gonna carjack you, officer. It was only a joke."


[This message has been edited by .357SIG (edited June 24, 2000).]
 
Mike H,

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Say is that a Glock, only jerks shoot those, get a Lorcin like my buddy behind you.[/quote] ROTFLMAO :D

"You look a little malnourished there officer. Just wait right here while I go and get some donuts & coffee for you. BTW, where's the nearest shop from here? Got it, thanks".

"Reckon you can get to your gun in that holster before I can get to the one in my glovebox?
-oops, here it is, already in my hand".


"Race you to (insert your choice here - eg. donut shop / MacDonalds). Just give me a full 5 minute headstart, no cheating, and no calling your buddies, OK!"
 
This actually happened to a kid when I was in highschool ( back in the 60s) . He told the cop to:

Go Away, you’re just a hallucination.

Needless to say he got a free ride downtown.
 
I had a buddy that told an officer, when asked if he could walk a straight line he looked him dead in the eye and said no but i can p-ss one.He spent the night in the drunk tank.
 
My brother pulled over a gentleman of Vietnamese extraction in a brand new BMW doing 20 km/h over the limit.

Conversation went like this:

Brother: Good morning, sir, I'm Constable XXXXX from ZZZZZZZ Police. Are you aware you were doing 90 km/h in a 70 zone?

BMW: Sorry, no understand English.

Brother: You were speeding ... going too fast. Understand.

BMW: Sorry, no speak English.

Brother (walking around new BMW): OK, let's have a look here. Mmmm ... do you know you have two bald tyres on the back?

BMW (Jumping out of car): What? Bald tyres? Can't be!

Brother smiles as he pulls out his ticket book.

B
 
This actually happened ...
LEO: Do you have any idea how dangerous it is to be driving so fast in the pouring rain? Do you think that's very intellegent on your part?
Sister-In-Law: Well, I might not be intellegent, but you're standing outside getting wet while I'm sitting inside staying dry.
TICKET For Speeding & Careless Driving!
FUD
fudeagle.gif
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top