WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A POLICE OFFICER

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DorGunR

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Subject: WHAT NOT TO SAY TO A POLICE OFFICER !

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
(OK in Texas)
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me.
Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to
be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a
warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay,just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no
other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you
been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer
your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"


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"Lead, follow or get the HELL out of the way."
 
13. Didn't I see you getting your butt kicked on Cops?

14. Why don't you go chase real criminals?

15. Bad cop! No doughnut!

:DLawDog
 
16. Bet my gun is bigger than yours. Wanna see?

17. Really officer, I didn't know she was your daughter!

18. I have to get home fast, Officer. My wife is getting pregnant tonight, and I'd like to be there when it happens... :D
 
Don't you have a donut shop to protect?

Hear these words -- Glazed or Cream-filled -- recently?

I couldn't have been going that fast. I wasn't getting a red shift.



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Beware the man with the S&W .357 Mag.
Chances are he knows how to use it.
 
20. "Actually, officer, I'm a laboratory mouse engaged in the early stages of a plot to take over the world. But rest assured that, when successful, my regime will result in substantially increased funding for law enforcement."

With apologies to Warner Brothers.

Steve
 
These cop jokes reminded me of something that happened to me in the airport a couple of years ago. I was getting ready to go thru the metal detector and I told them that I would trip the detector because I was wearing an artificial limb. The detector went off and they proceeded to do a patdown. They weren't very polite about it. After the security officer was finished, as I was walking away I told him loudly that he had a very gentle touch and gave him a cat that ate the canary grin. Boy did his face get red. Just a note. When they patted me down they never asked me to remove my leg. I couldda had a small gun hidden in the bottom of the leg or maybe some plastic explosive. Not very thorough! Sorry to get off the subject.

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Torpedo ( Life is great if you can survive it!)
 
Torpedo, you done done it now... you got me OT too.
I was at the Ft. Lauderdale airport at the end of December and watched as about 15 people skipped the metal detectors by going in through the exit on the other side. No one else seemed to care, so I started raising total and absolute hell. I looked like a jackass, but I had at least a dozen people come up to me and tell me thanks.
 
The best excuse for speeding . " Gee officer , my wife ran off with a cop last week and I thought you was him trying to give her back ."

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TOM
SASS AMERICAN LEGION NRA
 
"Bet I could take you without that badge and a gun."

"You can't give me that ticket. My father told me so."

"I won't go."

"F*** you."

There are soooo many. Who's next?
 
"I was going to become a cop but I decided to finish high school."

"Gee, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girl friend's night stand."

"Uuuuh, So are you on the take or what?"

"Say are you going to give me one of those full body cavity searches again?"

"I know I was driving too fast, when I dropped my crack pipe, I bent over to pick it up and my gun fell off my lap and wedged under the brake pedal and I had a hard time slowing down."

"Hell, I could not have been going 80 miles per hour, I ain't been out an hour."

"So, when are you going to get a real job?"

"Hum, you've got jelly filling in your moustach."

"I know the judge."



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Ne Conjuge Nobiscum
"If there be treachery, let there be jehad!"
 
"No sir Mr. Budweiser, i've only had three police officers."

This thread reminds me of that Red Hot Chilli Peppers song "Sir Psycho Sexy" ("I got stopped by a lady cop in my au-to-mo-bile, ... " i wont finish it because i don't want to get bounced! :D )



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~USP

"[Even if there would be] few tears shed if and when the Second Amendment is held to guarantee nothing more than the state National Guard, this would simply show that the Founders were right when they feared that some future generation might wish to abandon liberties that they considered essential, and so sought to protect those liberties in a Bill of Rights. We may tolerate the abridgement of property rights and the elimination of a right to bear arms; but we should not pretend that these are not reductions of rights." -- Justice Scalia 1998
 
24. "I was speeding because I'm late to work and if you give me a ticket I'll just have to drive even faster to make up the lost time!"

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The people never give up their liberties but under some delusion.
-- Edmund Burke
 
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the motorcycle officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said,
"I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen's Ball."
He replied,
"Highway patrolmen don't have balls."
There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back on his motorcycle and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car for several minutes.

found at tacticalforums.
 
Stephen Ewing Obviously your kids are watching wayyyyyyy too much Pinky & the Brain with you in the room. :D <Off subject> Want to know how you can get your kids to quit whining "What are we going to do now?" when they are bored? Answer them with ... "What we do every night, Pinky, try to take over the world!" It really works ... just ask my son, he won't ask that question anymore. :D</Off Subject>

25. Wink at him and ask ... "Do you always go that fast, Officer?" ;)


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Refuse to be a "helpless" victim.
Knowing Your Rights WAGC in Indiana
 
I knew a guy who got off a lot by telling the officers that he had reak weak bowels and was just trying to get to a gas station etc.
He got by a lot of times until a Louiaiana Highway Patrolman told him: "I see. Well you will probably sh*t when you see how much this ticket is."
True story.

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Better days to be,

Ed
 
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