Mike Irwin
Staff
"I was raised to believe that "words mean stuff" and all that... "
Yeah, it's pretty bad when someone uses a word like pistol to refer to a revolver. It causes a neural pathway imbalance in virtually everyone within a 50 meter radius.
Symptoms include shambling to a dead stop, drooling, vacant eyes, unresponsiveness to simple questions, and a genera inability to communicate effectively.
Oh, wait, that's most peoples' natural states...
Fortunately, the Obama administration has addressed this problem head on and established SMART units under the auspices of the United States Office of Ethnolinguistics, Grammar, and Technical Mechanics (EGTM).
The SMART units (SMART stands for Situation Management, Assessment, and Reaction Team) provide drastically needed remediation and re-education to those suffering from a word-induced natural disaster.
SMART unit members are trained to use the EGTM-approved "National Dictionary of the American English Language" to help these individuals re-adapt to being productive members of society.
Thank God we have someone as caring as Obama in the White House. That evil, despicable little man who came before? He had the audacity to tell similarly traumatized individauls that they needed to "Suck it up, Princesses!"
Yeah, it's pretty bad when someone uses a word like pistol to refer to a revolver. It causes a neural pathway imbalance in virtually everyone within a 50 meter radius.
Symptoms include shambling to a dead stop, drooling, vacant eyes, unresponsiveness to simple questions, and a genera inability to communicate effectively.
Oh, wait, that's most peoples' natural states...
Fortunately, the Obama administration has addressed this problem head on and established SMART units under the auspices of the United States Office of Ethnolinguistics, Grammar, and Technical Mechanics (EGTM).
The SMART units (SMART stands for Situation Management, Assessment, and Reaction Team) provide drastically needed remediation and re-education to those suffering from a word-induced natural disaster.
SMART unit members are trained to use the EGTM-approved "National Dictionary of the American English Language" to help these individuals re-adapt to being productive members of society.
Thank God we have someone as caring as Obama in the White House. That evil, despicable little man who came before? He had the audacity to tell similarly traumatized individauls that they needed to "Suck it up, Princesses!"