What do you do?

D

DasBoot

Moderator
I don't know what catagory this would fall into, but I'd like to hear your thoughts on this.
How do you maintain a relationship with someone whose political views are the polar opposite of yours?
Let's take the immigration issue.
If you firmly believe that granting illegal aliens amnesty, visas, gov't handouts, etc will have a profoundly negative effect on the culture and future of the USA, how can you still maintain a relationship with someone that is totally in favor those things?
In essence, a relationship with someone that advocates something you believe could, in time, destroy this country
Or the proposed admittance of 7000 Iraqi civilians into this country for asylum.
If you believe it's a good idea to allow 7000 Moslems to enter the US, how do you stay on good terms with someone that feels allowing this will only increase the chances of terrorist infiltration?
I just pulled out these 2 topics as illustration, not as the focus of this thread.
I really want to know how you deal with someone that advocates ideas/policies/philosophies etc that, in your view, are detrimental to this country and it's people.
And what if it's your spouse?!:eek:
Or girlfriend/boyfriend/family member/friend?
Just curious.
 
My current significant other has some political views that counter my own. I'm still trying to convince her to come to the range with me but she's not a fan of loud noises. She leans more toward the socialist side of things but I think I'm changing her mind, at least on the basic economics of it. My enlistment into the military is a big point of friction between us but it stems more from her distaste of the current administration as well as ridiculous training practices in OCS that a friend of ours went through. Usually, though, we have other things to talk about. :p

One of my previous relationships didn't really involve politics very much; I wasn't as politically minded a few years ago as I am today and his opinions were actually stronger than my own but generally in line. In fact he was partly responsible for me reconsidering my opinions on capitalism and the free market. I went through a short socialist phase myself before I truly understood the mechanics and philosophy behind it. We were diametrically opposed on religion, however. Was one of the reasons it didn't work out.

I actually don't have much of a problem being with someone with opposing political views, it's a lot better than dealing with someone with no political views. :eek: I just can't feel a connection with someone that doesn't care what's going on in the world around them.
 
I've got many friends/ loved ones/ etc. with wildly divergent political opinions and I get along with 'em fine. :confused:
If they (or you) can't handle candid, open discussions....then don't talk about it. Me personally, I'm comfortable discussing whatever and most of my friends are too. We can agree to disagree with no hard feelings.
 
If they (or you) can't handle candid, open discussions....then don't talk about it
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I don't think being able to "handle" it is an issue.
Is it just a matter of ignoring the fact that this person is contributing to, and/or advocating, things that are contributing to the weakening/demise of our society or country?
If you are truly firm in your convictions, how do you put them aside and act like everything is fine?Like if you were an American married to a pro-Nazi during WWII.:confused:
 
Is it just a matter of ignoring the fact that this person is contributing to, and/or advocating, things that are contributing to the weakening/demise of our society or country?
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If you truly believed this person's beliefs are contributing to the demise of our society then why would you be with said person? :confused: I can be with someone that doesn't like guns or capitalism or LS1s but I couldn't be with someone that holds pro-nazi ideals or advocates things that I find truly immoral.
 
Is it just a matter of ignoring the fact that this person is contributing to, and/or advocating, things that are contributing to the weakening/demise of our society or country?
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In who's view? :)

For example SWMBO-san is anti choice, semi anti gun, anti immigration, pacifistic, semi xeonophobic and semi authoritarian. During elections, she sneaks around the house at night taping up democratic election posters just to provoke me. She still hasnt apologized to me for WW2 and thinks that Japanese are superior (in some ways she is right, dang it, after all she can read Chinese and speaks probably six languages, I cant). On the other hand, your loving and tender WA is pro choice, pro gun, semi anti immigration, non xenophobic and semi anarchistic.

We both are destroying the planet. We love each other even though we are each political idiots in the eyes of each other.

Of course, I speak english better and since I am not polite Japanese, I can always win arguments by such mature techniques as screaming "remember pearl harbour" and jumping out at her from behind a door, or by telling her that the Japanese are descended from Koreans or my personal favorite: finding a picture of Hirohito or the present semi divine whoever the Emperor is and scratching his nose! Drives her up the wall. Great for making her express the 100 different ways one can say "fat stupid American Old man".

Lighten up. The world will be here 10,000 years from now, unless the sun goes supernova.

WildmakeyourpoliticaldifferencesaformoffunAlaska
 
but I couldn't be with someone that holds pro-nazi ideals or advocates things that I find truly immoral
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That's exactly what I'm asking.
So if this belief system manifested itself AFTER you had had a relationship for any length of time, you would end it?
If your spouse was in total agreement with, lets say, Sharia (?) Law replacing our own form of gov't, how would that effect your relationship?
Or they feel that NAMBLA is an upstanding organization.
How far do you let your beliefs affect your dealings with others.
What are you willing to overlook for the sake of preserving the relationship.
 
That's exactly what I'm asking.
So if this belief system manifested itself AFTER you had had a relationship for any length of time, you would end it?
If your spouse was in total agreement with, lets say, Sharia (?) Law replacing our own form of gov't, how would that effect your relationship?
Or they feel that NAMBLA is an upstanding organization.
How far do you let your beliefs affect your dealings with others.
What are you willing to overlook for the sake of preserving the relationship.
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I imagine if I'd been with a man or woman long enough to be married to that person I'd know their core values and beliefs.

I really don't know what I would do in such situations, which is why I feel that long term relationships with an individual as well as living together prior to marriage is important (to me at least). I can't imagine marrying someone I haven't been with so long that I know all their ins and outs, all the quirks and facets of that person's personality. It would take a drastic event to make an individual change their core values like that.

It really depends on the beliefs. A respect of Sharia Law and allowing others to practice it I can deal with. Fighting for it to replace our own wouldn't jive with me and it would eventually create a rift in the relationship. Same with NAMBLA; believing they have the same right to free speech as the rest of us is one thing but actually joining would be a deal-breaker.

So I guess it depends on the belief in question as well as the person in question. Case-by-case scenario.
 
We both are destroying the planet. We love each other even though we are each political idiots in the eyes of each other.

Lighten up. The world will be here 10,000 years from now, unless the sun goes supernova.
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WA, don't get in a habit of making me agree with you. ;)
 
Well... If my significant other said she was for Sharia Law. I would tell her to put on her dang burka on and fix my dang breakfast already.:D But alas, she isn't for it. So I most likely would be fixing her breakfast.;)
 
Can you wait a minute....

....while I go ask my second wife?



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"all my political views are bi-polar political views"
 
Well, I think there's often a difference in the intensity between women and men on the various issues. They may technically disagree with each other on some points, but it doesn't necessarily affect their relationship, because they can trade issues they care about for issues they don't care about.


Of course, I'm only familiar with heterosexual relationships. Two women had better frickin' agree on everything. Two men, well, I can't guess.
 
My political views have changed a bit over the last 6 years. I started out as very conservative about everything, but now, i try to look at everything on a case by case basis. I always have, and always will support the 2nd Amendment, but some other classical conservative views...such as those that promote religion in the courtroom and such, i dont support.

I dated some girls early on, who were pretty liberal in their polical beleifs. Instead of changing them, i opted to simply avoid the topic. At the time, i was nearly as conservative as Rush L.... Somthing i'm not very proud of. Changing a woman's mind is a difficult thing to do. (no offense ladies) I never was good with the ladies anyway.

The guy i'm dating now (funny how things change) is pretty open minded, and is open to discussion. Ive educated him alot on the 2nd amendment, and guns in general. He came from a very liberal bacground, but he's coming around. I've explained the mis-information he'd been fed from the media. Most of his politcal view stem from what he's seen on TV, so once he's given the complete, true story, he doesnt mind looking at things from another side. He's taken quite a liking to firearms too.
 
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I dated some girls early on
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The guy i'm dating now
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I guess you truly have evolved from the extreme conservative? :cool: :D



Back to topic, the manager of my base store differs on me from some of the most critical opinions (2nd amendment, abortion, current pres, etc), and him and I have some pretty nasty debates on them. However, we use that time to reflect on how great America is, and how in any other country you can't stand around and have those debates. One of us can't oppose the current leader while in Iran and expect to live much longer. Here we can. We also leave those debates and different views in the discussion. I have a strong working friendship with him, and know his wife and kids very well. BBQ's are another great place to have these civil discussions.
 
I fired my family except one member.
I have two ex-wives.

When anti-gun College classmates [with a Anti-Gun instructor in that class as well] begged, pleaded for me and like kind to walk them to their car after a Live Theatre performance, as they were really honest to goodness afraid of the dark, and all sorts of "folks" were known to be around" and had "done some stuff"...I walked off after I said:

I suggest you two flip a coin as to whom gets raped first and who gets to dial the cell phone awaiting their turn...

They survived, and showed up for class Monday am.
One called me aside, and this time had real serious questions.

She is now a CCW-er, Pro Gun, RKBA and on our side.
Oh yeah, something about I should get a honorary degree in something I cannot type on this forum. *grin*

We are friends, and at one time total opposites, and enemies .

The other lady still hates my guts, *shrug* , one cannot win them all...
 
Unfortunately I feel to strongly about certain issues and couldn't live with my wife if she changed to the dark side on those issues. I would have to call the lawyer LOL.
 
Whenever those kinds of subjects comes up, my face turns red and the ears start smoking. Seriously, if one more rightie accuses me of being full of anger I'm going postal on em. Not because they're incorrect, but because they don't understand that any patriot worth two cents should be angry.
 
DasBoot, it sounds like you need to lighten up, man! If you want to associate with a diverse and intellectually stimulating group of people, then you have to accept the fact that those folks will have different views and beliefs than yourself. It's the exploration of those views and beliefs that make sites like TFL fun!

You're the one who chooses whether or not to react negatively to someone's political views. If it bothers you to hear about pro-immigration, then it's because you decided to allow it to bother you.

You have to make the choice. Do I talk with these people, or do I exclude them from my life? If you talk to them, you might learn something - or better yet, you might actually teach something! In exchange, you'll have to hear some opinions you don't agree with. If you exclude all but those like-minded to yourself, then you'll never be faced with an opinion you don't like. On the other hand, you'll never have any stimulating conversations. You'll just sit around with your friends patting yourselves on the back for having this whole "immigration" thing all figured out. (Who rules? O'Doyle RULES!)

Make sense?
 
Samurai, it all depends on who you want to call friends in terms of who to rely on, too.

And in my experience, leftists, while talking the talk, are VERY selfish people deep-down, and far more likely to stab you in the back. It's all about me, me, me, my entitlements, I want, I need, I deserve. Massachusetts, for example, in its current hard-left leaning, is 3rd in the nation in income...but 47th in charitable donations. What sort of hypocrisy is that?

In my experience as well, conservatives tend to be genuinely GOOD people.

To me, it's far more likely that if you were stranded somewhere in cold and rain, the leftists would blaze right on by on their own interests. It'd be the conservatives who would stop, take you in and give you a hot meal with the family.
 
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