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visitor at my door.
- Thread starter briandg
- Start date
FireForged
New member
If someone is intent on doing you harm do you think the door is really going to stop them? Even reinforced doorways with extended throw bolts are only going to slow someone competent with intent to come through. Yes I get that some home invasions the victim has opened the door but it’s not a prerequisite. Taking refuge in your fortress does not spare you the evil intent. It may end with the needy calling down curses upon you and others adjusting their opinion of you. You cannot have perfect personal safety. Are you willing to give up politeness and goodness to those in need seeking what you will not find anyways
Based on what you just said, I suspect that you may have very little experience regarding the nature of the majority of home invaderss or how they most often go about selecting target home.
I don't think anyone said anything about Perfect personal safety, I think the suggestion was "better" personal security which is common sense driven.
Am I willing to give up politeness and goodness toward strangers at my front door?? Yes I am... and I will replace politeness and goodness with cautious indifference. If I didn't invite them to my home, I don't owe them a darn thing.
Not answering my door is not "hiding in my fortress". Answering the door to strangers is simply not important to me and in this day and age, people going door to door are rather suspicious to me in general. It aint 1955 anymore
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We are willing to sacrifice different things. As I live in the middle of nowhere anyone on my door step who intends harm has travelled some distance already. He or she is not just seeing if I will open the door. It is more likely a traveler in need outside of normal cell coverage. Comrades are cheaply gained with minor hospitality around here.
A mile or so away, on the lakeshore, are million dollar homes. My comparative hut, which I am grateful for, would be a curious target for a random invasion
A mile or so away, on the lakeshore, are million dollar homes. My comparative hut, which I am grateful for, would be a curious target for a random invasion
If someone is intent on doing you harm do you think the door is really going to stop them? Even reinforced doorways with extended throw bolts are only going to slow someone competent with intent to come through. Yes I get that some home invasions the victim has opened the door but it’s not a prerequisite. Taking refuge in your fortress does not spare you the evil intent. It may end with the needy calling down curses upon you and others adjusting their opinion of you. You cannot have perfect personal safety. Are you willing to give up politeness and goodness to those in need seeking what you will not find anyways
If we want to entertain the hypothetical of someone could always get in, sure. We can go as crazy as to imagine someone battering down my door, blowing it open with a breaching charge, or rappelling through my windows. A door provides more security than no door, and it also further reinforces the notion that trespassers aren't allowed. I don't consider my home a "fortress".
As for people calling down curses and adjusting their opinions of me, I guess I don't consider telling a late night visitor that you don't feel like talking or, as mentioned above, ignoring an uninvited guest "giving up politeness and goodness".
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Outside of my neighbor coming to collect one of his children from my home or the neighboring children that come to play with my children, I dont let unexpected, uninvited visitors into my home. I am a compassionate human being and I will help someone in need, but they generally don't need that help from within the confines of my home. That's outside of my comfort zone. Having said that, I realize everyone's home environment is different.
Aguila Blanca
Staff
Frankly ... no.briandg said:Did anyone else take anything away from this other than I shouldn't have opened my door? That's entirely not the point, as I said.
FireForged
New member
Not a stranger, read the post, we had spent a number of hours in conversation before, not even the first time in my home. I didn't recognize him because he wasn't in work clothes
not a stranger? ok.. perhaps its more fair to simply say that you don't know much about this guy. An acquaintance perhaps
If a haircut throws you off, if a change of clothes throws you off, if you do not know about and are unaware of any mental problems that a person might have, if you experience is limited to a couple of encounters and a few hours of social conversation and if you honestly do not know much about them.. they wouldn't be invited into my home.
I have always treated relationships with others like the layers of an onion. One thing at a time, one progression at a time, and TIME being the rather important to the overall judgment and assessment of another human being and I am in no hurry. A person does not enter my home simply because I know his name and have had previous superficial contact in social settings. The question is "what do I actually know about this person and have I had adequate time to make a reasonable assessment of him/her. To enter my home is a very personal thing and a person has to establish a certainly level of trust and earn a certainly level of respect before they enter my home. That's just me and I sure wouldn't show them my guns.
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NoSecondBest
New member
One person in five suffers from some form of mental illness. I'm not sure what the percentage is of people with criminal records. I do know that I can't sort them out by looking at them. Over time I get to know people and develop a trust in them. I'm not afraid to invite people into my home, I just don't like it when people I don't know all that well show up at my door and want to come in. Especially at night. I don't show people I don't know that well my guns. My neighbor had someone break in to his house a couple of years ago and stole five of his expensive watches (he collects them. odd, but I collect guns which to him is just as odd), all his wifes good jewelry, and a laptop. They knew right what to go for and left everything else. It was pretty apparent that he'd shown this stuff to someone he casually knew and they came back and took it. I err on the side of caution. You might want to think about it.
FireForged
New member
The point is that even a well known and invited guest may become a threat.
sure... anything is possible but we typically mitigate problem via the application of good judgment. In the absence of good judgment, the potential for difficulties can be more pronounced. Inviting someone into my home and showing them guns is pretty much an ALL ACCESS pass. In my world, a person has to earn that pass simply because of the potential for problems which may easily develop when such access and information is granted to mere acquaintances. Its not only the nature of the acquaintance that is in question but also what kind of people they may assocaiate with. I simply cannot make a reasonable assessment of someone or hold a reasonable confidence in what I believe to be their habitual nature, if I barely know them.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by briandg
Did anyone else take anything away from this other than I shouldn't have opened my door? That's entirely not the point, as I said.
Frankly ... no.
Briandg, I do not get involved with this part of the forum, I read through this one because you are the OP.
Years ago I had plans on getting married, problem: I was invited to my 'wife to be' apartment, I would like to think she wanted to show off her cooking skills. About the time she got started their was a knock at the door. I did not see who was knocking but it sounded like a mob. The wife to be took care if it; she explained she did not know of anyone having a party, she explained she was not invit4ed and she did not know of anyone having a party and she made it very clear she was not interested in having a party.
She went back to cooking and I went back to waiting when there was another knock at the door; I told her I would take care if it. Another mob looking for a party. I reminded them what she said; she did not know who was having a party, she was not invited, she did not know of anyone having a party and she was not interested in having a party, it was at this time I told the party goer to 'MAKE TRACKS!' He had a bottle in one hand and a glass in the other; he gave me his best James Dean smile and I stepped out of the door and on him.
I was told by neighbors it was one on hell of a noise, I stepped back into the apartment without asking the wife to be what she thought, I honestly expected I did what she expected me to do.
Well there was a party, the host of the party wanted to know what happened to his party goers, He told the apartment manager he did not know anyone that lived on the second floor out side of the Gay guy and the two girls that lived above her. She corrected him, she informed him one of the girls was dating the guy that rides the Harley and then said, "here he comes right there".
I parked, spoke and then went upstairs, it was about that time the ship hit the sand. The marriage was off. She informed me she never saw anyone get so mad so fast and hit someone so hard in all of her life. I explained to her I was outnumbered, I told her I did not have time to hit anyone twice, I told her they should have learned how to act before they left their homes and no one warned them about me.
It helped that most of the neighbors came over to her apartment to tell her they were horrified at the mob that took over the complex. The little Gay guy said he had never seen pictures fly off the wall and then there was the noise.
On Monday she went to work to informed them there would be no wedding. the boss said it was too bad he was not in Denver Saturday night. An article in the paper gave an account of a mother and son that were murdered by a stranger that knocked on the door.
And then there was 'THE classic motor rage event in Ft. Worth, Texas.
A whole new meaning to, "He did what?" there were no Bob Ukers there. No one was in a hurry because they were concerned I was going to make them late, they all waited patiently.
F. Guffey
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Your doorstep is not the world and I should have limited my scope
Most understood what you meant without further explanation. It is not a better place for the dumbing down to the lowest common denominator, either.
I hope that some of you never have to answer to your God (gods, Karma, conscience, whatever) why you did not help the stranger who came to your door in a time of need.
I disagree that this story you keep putting forward, of the stranger looking for help, is what happened in this case. As for God, I'm not sure he's a member here.
You're not the only one confused.F. Guffey, you assaulted someone for smiling at you? Am I missing something?
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I disagree that this story you keep putting forward, of the stranger looking for help, is what happened in this case. As for God, I'm not sure he's a member here.
Do you disagree that the person have a mental health crisis is in need of assistance or that he was at the OP's doorstep?
I'm going to share a story that I should not about a friend I know well. The details were not clear at the time and they are less clear a decade and a half or so later. Said friend was going through less than an amicable divorce with a woman who was very good at manipulating situations. There was a point where said friend left his house, as best as memory goes, to get a drink or a bottle of drink. The local sheriff department called him and asked for a location meeting him at his destination with four deputies. Said individual was rather armed though everything was in the trunk and legally carried. It was a Sunday night and the officers likely would have been within their rights to detain the individual and hold him or her until Monday morning or perhaps longer though as I recall the story no laws had been broken. Cause was there to let a judge sort it out.
What did the officers do? One, at risk to himself perhaps, offered to sit with this young man and have a piece of pizza or two and did for a couple hours. In this particular case the agitated young man calmed down, went home, and the story ends well for everyone involved.
In this life we have the option to live it boldly and in a manner that can be remembered with praise or in fear behind doors even when our help is sought. The officer in the story won a friend for life at little cost but a touch of boldness and a slice of pizza.
I'm going to share a story that I should not about a friend I know well.
Then please don't. I don't understand why people say this and then share.
In this life we have the option to live it boldly and in a manner that can be remembered with praise or in fear behind doors even when our help is sought. The officer in the story won a friend for life at little cost but a touch of boldness and a slice of pizza.
I am not a police officer, nor was the OP acting as an active duty officer in this thread. A man came to his house to talk in a social manner. At the moment he knocked, per the OP, he didn't display any behavior that indicated he was in a mental health crisis and needed aid. I'd add that frankly the OP didn't render aid. When he realized the man was in trouble he asked to call someone or give the man a ride, but the end goal was to get the man out of his home. The man eventually left and the OP didn't follow up, from what we know I am not trying to assume behavior, as to how the man did or if he's feeling better. I don't blame the OP for those actions, I'm merely stating the reality of the situation.
In your own story law enforcement are brought in to interact with this man. I'm not suggesting, for myself, that I watch or listen to someone struggle on my doorstep and not do anything. Ask him what we needs, call him a taxi or an ambulance, there are plenty of options I'd consider. Would I invite that person in my house? No. I am not just responsible for myself. I have family I am not going to deliberately put in what could be harm's way.
If you want to help people in life there are many, many ways. Charitable organizations, both church related and not, outreach programs, the list goes on. There are a lot of ways to give back in settings that don't involve inviting people you don't know into your home. If me not inviting someone I don't know into my home means when I die that people won't praise me, I guess I have to live with that. Frankly I think bringing someone's relationship to God into question and asking them to debate it on an internet forum isn't worthy of praise either, but here we are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GarandTd View Post
F. Guffey, you assaulted someone for smiling at you? Am I missing something?
You're not the only one confused.
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No, the wife to be gave him all the information he was going to get. I repeated everything she said. the last thing I said to him was, "MAKE TRACKS", Smiling was not an option, again, I was outnumbered, I have been there before, I understand if I do not get started early I may not have time to start at all.
Ya though I walked through valley I feared no one.
F. Guffey