This is fun - worst movie/actor?

B

Big Al

New member
I've found myself laughing till it hurts reading a thread like this at GT, so you guys have fun with it!

Real groaners in my book -

(1) COBRA - directed by and starring Stallone. What a piece of crap! The opening scene of Cobra - how big of a bad-ass did Stallone want to come off as, anyway?
*He pulls up in a bad-ass car, wearing cop shades, a black leather jacket, spray-on blue jeans, biker boots - with cuffed police search gloves an a match in his mouth. And he's supposed to be a cop? Sheesh. Talk about overdoing it.
*He goes in - gives a bad-ass speech over the grocery mike. Takes a drink of beer while being shot at, a la The Man Show. Gives the killer a bad-ass monologue. Yells "drop it" as he's pulling the trigger when he empties his .45 in the killer. Close-up to Stallone's waist as he spins his .45 on his finger and slams it into the front of his jeans for Mexican carry. Note the red-eyed cobra grip panels. Good grief.

(2)One word - Commando. I love Ahnold, but good lord, his acting was HORRIBLE in that movie. Sure, the fight scenes kicked ass, but Ahnold's monotone speaking - a la Mr. Roboto - were so laughable I couldn't take the movie serious. The funniest part? Where he had that guy held out over a cliff by one foot -

*Ahnold, in Roboto Monotone: "Hey Sully-remember when eye say eye kill you lahst. (statement tone, not question)"
*Sully: "Yeah man, you said you'd kill me last!"
*Ahnold, Roboto statement: "Eye lie."

Possibly overtaken in ridiculousness in the end, when he throws a pipe though that guy and says "Leht off some steam Behnnett." He had to have read that off a cue card - it sure sounded like it. I crack up every time I watch that movie.

Lots more - just can't think of them right now.




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Glock 19
S&W 629 Classic
KelTec P32

"Oh yeah? Well I talk LOOOUDLY! And I carry a BIIIGGER stick! And I'll use it, too." -Yoesemite Sam
 
Aw come on, Commando was a classic! :D
My award for worst acting/movie combo in a gun related movie is for the Nam flick Siege of Firebase Gloria. Wings Hauser using his M14 like a baseball bat to knock one of the dead villagers' severed heads off a pike and send it flying made me bust a gut laughing.
And F Lee Ermy's voiceover "we had trained with these people, laughed with them...which was why it HURT to see their heads stuck on pikes..." has to rank as one of the worst written and delivered lines ever.
 
My nomination......... Bill Clinton!
Movie................. The last 8 years!


[This message has been edited by Dennis (edited June 01, 2000).]
 
My vote is Cyborg with Van Damme.

Only time in my life (so far) that I actually fell asleep in a theater during a movie, and it was supposed to be an ACTION MOVIE!
 
Big Al, I'd have to agree with you that Cobra is one of the worst. Stallone's got sunglasses on everywhere he goes---even in his dark apartment. But, at the end when he rides off with the babe on a motorcyle, he's not wearing shades, or any eye protection at all. Anyone who's ridden an open bike without
glasses will tell you your eyes turn to raisins in a couple of miles.

Actually, that's the first Stallone movie I can remember where his woman friend lives to the end of the picture. Usually they get killed within minutes of meeting him. Could it be his breath?

Dick
 
How about that model in The World is Not Enough? She's a nuclear scientist up to her flotation devices in water inside a submarine and yells "It's flooding!!!". Nothing gets by this beautiful genius! Also, her wearing hotpants throughout the movie while entertaining, somewhat made me doubt her doctorate.

I third the Cobra nomination.
 
I'd say
1) the matrix - Jeesh! All thos stupid gunfights. And those silly leather pants.
2) Unforgiven - Duh!! Clint Eastwood as a gunfighter-how origional
3) Aliens - Pulse rifle - What a stupid joke of an Idea
4) Saving Private Ryan - Don't get me started
5) .. Why are all you guys looking at me like that?

...eeeeppp!

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Rob
From the Committee to Use Proffesional Politicians as Lab Animals
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She doesn't have bad dreams because she's made of plastic...
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bad Kiki! No karaoke in the house!
 
"bad Kiki! No karaoke in the house!"

Nice to see another Sluggy Freelance fan at TFL :)

"I'm all outta loooooooooooooooooooooooooove!"
 
The number of bad movies I've seen would boggle one's mind. In the category of the "not intended to be great cinema from the very beginning" the prize goes to Cyborg.

In the category of "big name actor with major league suck fest" the prize goes to 12 Monkeys with dishonorable mention to Battelfield Earth.

Worst person having a role in a film: Steven Seagal. I can't bear to call him an actor.
 
House on Haunted Hill and everybody in it. Worst movie I have ever seen. It got hyped up and I preordered it on DVD, now I have a 20$ dollar target.
 
I've probably seen to much MST3K, but "Manos, the Hands of Fate" was horrible beyond description.

Honorable mentions:
Independence Day-Never seen fireworks with less plot.
The Eternal Jew-Goebbels at his most rabid.

For those who hated Unforgiven, I did too, as none of the characters made me care about them.

Stallone should have stopped after Rocky.

If anybody wants to knock Ahnold, two words: Scavenger Hunt. One more word: Hercules.

Anything with Steven Seagal or Jim Carrey can be counted on to be awful.

Steve
 
Quoting a family member who shall remain un-named: "Stalone looks so intellectual!" (uttered while watching Cobra) :D
 
The worst actor out there is hands down Keanu Reaves. He is so dull! The only movie he actually did a good job in was Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and that is where his career should have ended. Don't get me wrong though, the Matrix was conceptually and visually a great movie, but he did not help the movie at all.

It is a given that Stallone and Arnold are not good actors. The only movie Stallone was any good in was Rocky and that was because he played a dimwitted boxer. Actually, come to think of it, the only other movie that was okay with Sly was Night Hawks--definitely worth a video rental. Well, one more, he did a good job in Copland, but that's it!

Arnold, on the other hand, is so darn likeable that it doesn't really matter what he does, you gotta love it.

Worst gun-related movie? There are many that come to mind, but I recall suffering through Death Wish 3 late one Friday night. Talk about stupid and cheesy!

The all-time worst movie of any kind, although somehow endearing through it's cult status is "Plan 9 from Outer Space".

[This message has been edited by Hydejam (edited June 01, 2000).]
 
If you can, get Brian Garfield's *book* "Death Wish" -- it is excellent and a good RKBA argument to book...perhaps unintentionally.
 
Early '80s flick called...

"Megaforce" Yecccch.

It was on cable the other night, so I had to watch (part) of it again. I couldn't stop laughing when a C-130 takes a 90mm round from an M-48 tank just below the cockpit and the pilot says, "Uh oh. We'd better return to base." or some such. As if the guy would be alive to say anything...

The flying motorcylces were a hoot, too. I guess poo is too good a word for anything with Barry Bostwick in it.

Next. "Damnation Alley" with the late George Pappard. Another early-80s post-apocalyptic movie from the Cold War days when such mundane things as nuclear annihiliation still freaked people out. The movie's not too horrible, but it has one of the worst lines ever.

"Tanner! Get out of there! You're surrounded by a bunch of......KILLER COCKROACHES!!!!"

I'll second "Cobra" as one that goes on the dungheap. How about that part where he suddenly does a 180 on the freeway at 100mph, destroys a truck and then flips right way around? All one-handed, of course. :D

[This message has been edited by Gopher a 45 (edited June 01, 2000).]
 
The worst one I've seen was "The Island of Doctor Moerua" with Val Kilmer. God, that was a horible movie.

The worst gun-related movie I've ever seen was "Sniper". Come on, filing the burs of a bullet? Last time I checked Matchkings were pretty good out of the box. I had the misfoutune of watching that after reading the book "White Star"(one of the best books I've ever read by the way).
 
C'mon.....Cobra's bad but it's sure fun fantasy. Ain't none of u wanted a chopped Merc and license to shoot up ax-wielding neo-Nazis?
Kinda like a 2 story outhouse: Stupid but fun.

Now a bad movie.......Magnolia
 
The worst actor in my book is someone everybody likes, including me - Chuck Norris. He's a very nice guy, but so darned dead pan his "acting" gets old real fast. But when he is being himself he can't be topped. He gave a speech at the Kennedy Center for Armed Forces day that didn't leave a single dry eye in the place. (Heard the Navy Band, Singing Sergeants, Airmen of Note - a great day.)
 
*ROTFLMAO*

Keep it up fellas! Killer stuff!

Looks like Cobra is one we can all agree on. I forgot about the "spin car backwards, shift into reverse,cause a truck to explode with a submachinegun, then spin back around, shift into drive, all with one hand" move. Really realistic, huh?

I know it's an obscure one, but let's not forget Jonathan Cabot (I think) in that martial arts masterpiece -

Gymkata :-)



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Glock 19
S&W 629 Classic
KelTec P32

"Oh yeah? Well I talk LOOOUDLY! And I carry a BIIIGGER stick! And I'll use it, too." -Yoesemite Sam
 
Okay. Great movie, dumb moment, worst acting, even if by a walk-on extra:

The movie is Tora, Tora, Tora (I told you it was good). The part happens on Ford Island at the beginning of the raid, out in front of the seaplane hangers. Frankly, I don't know if the lines they gave this guy could have possibly been delivered well. It was something like,

"Oh, no! If the fire spreads to the gas lines, the mains will go up." delivered really fast, almost excited, but pretty much deadpan.

*************************

A funny/scarey story from the making of this movie:

An aquaintance served aboard a destroyer which was stationed off Vietnam during the war. One Saturday night/Sunday morning, they had a twelve-hour, quick turn-around resupply visit to Pearl. Because they were basically combat-ready the whole time they were on station, they had ready ammo by the main and anti-aircraft mounts and kept their crews at the ready.

At about seven in the morning, while tied up, they were suddenly and without warning buzzed at extremely low altitude by military aircraft. My friend, the chief of the watch, threw his and the captain's cups of coffee down the superstructure and ran to strip the cover from a fifty caliber mount. All the ships around them opened up at the aircraft. The captain called general quarters and announced anti-aircraft stations, but took the precaution of calling the flag for permission to fire.

They were glad he did. About the time the guys got to their guns, it dawned on the watch officer that these were WWII Japanese types. The order was belayed. It turned out that "Tora, Tora Tora" was filming that morning and because of their quick turnaround, the yard officers at Pearl had somehow neglected to get the word to them.

Now that's keeping your finger off the trigger until ready to fire.

Bobbalouie


[This message has been edited by Bobbalouie (edited June 01, 2000).]
 
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