I've tried four different j-frames from the stainless 357's and the lighter weight 38's. They each have pro's & con's. So I decided if I had only one- which would it be? The answer was none of what I had so I sold them all to people eager to grab them up. And that's fine, their needs where not the same as mine. I replace them all with what I thought was the best choice. I bought a S&W MP360. It's a lighter weight black 357. However, at this writing, I didn't readily see it among the S&W revolvers on their website.
The stainless steel guns were fine for belted holster carry, but too heavy for pocket carry in a light jacket or especially summer shorts. The lighter guns were fine as far as sagging goes, but I desire the greater power of the 357. As far as recoil, for me it's mostly a non issue. I don't shoot my M&P360 and don't expect to unless the situation is absolutely necessary. And if that were the case, I really expect just a couple shots would do the job. It's not likely the bit of recoil sting in the hand would be a problem or even noticed. Of course I've fired other small handguns before, and I know how hard they can kick, so the recoil of my MP360 would come as no surprise. I'm also 100% confident it will be on target at such close ranges where these unfortunate events usually take place.