Staying calm in tense situation?

There's a lot of really interesting information being shared in this thread, to the point of being extremely meaningful and perhaps life changing if it's followed. I'm amazed.

Jim567 said:
I go calm and cool in intense situations. Especially when folks around me are in a panic.
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I have that same reaction. I immediately detach from group panic, I think that's a good thing. Mob mentality escapes me on a personal logic level. When others are panicking most often I'm trying to find a solution. If people are crowding into an area I go a different way (not like the ones you see in movies that instead of running away from the monster, end up becoming easy pickings).
 
Road rage is an everyday event in cities around here. Sometimes they turn into intentional crashes, shootings, and fights/assault. Some people go "Godzilla" when they get behind the wheel. Men and women alike. Put these same people face to face in public, outside of their cars, no problems whatsoever.

I don't know exactly how I would do in military combat. I hope that I would have been prepared prior to actually seeing combat. The stories from former soldiers of being under fire for hours on end are life changers, according to those same soldiers.
 
Behind the wheel imparts an anonymity to drivers. I have driven in several Asian and western countries where driving ranges from offensive to safe and polite. In Indonesia and New Orleans most drivers practice offensive driving skills. In Ireland and New Zealand the drivers are polite and considerate.

Road rage is facilitated by the hiding behind the shield of an automobile. Driving every other week between New Orleans and Houston via the racetrack they call I10 is an experience of constant defensive driving. Tailgaters in jacked up pickups are a worry for me in my little Camry. Best to drive calmly and not become too riled and escalate to violent behavior. By the way, Friday nights through Baton Rouge is compounded by many drunk drivers and many of them are armed.
 
Experts say the best way to stay safe while driving is to have a really fast and good handling car.
(And have the skills necessary to drive it well, of course).
That way it's very hard for anyone to get close enough to hit you, no matter how mad or determined they might be. :)
 
I had a similar road rage incident about 5 years ago. A jerk was aggressively tailgating me, honking and making hand gestures. I flipped him off, huge mistake. I ended up blocked by traffic at the next intersection and he pulled up next to me. He was screaming threats, and getting out of his truck. I made no vocal eye contact, just held my phone. Fortunately he drove off.

Since then I've made a point of pulling over to let these losers pass me, and ignoring offensive gestures and language. That's training I can do on most commutes. And I worked on breathing techniques to help me calm down when I feel rage coming. In my experience with all forms of conflict the calmer individual has a huge advantage.
 
Mainah said:
I had a similar road rage incident about 5 years ago. A jerk was aggressively tailgating me, honking and making hand gestures. I flipped him off, huge mistake. I ended up blocked by traffic at the next intersection and he pulled up next to me. He was screaming threats, and getting out of his truck. I made no vocal eye contact, just held my phone. Fortunately he drove off.
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Unfortunately those are the idiots who get themselves into serious trouble. My grandfather had a friend who made a similar mistake and he was just smart enough to stop just when he needed to stop. Another driver cut him off and rather than just let it go he decided to exit his vehicle at a red light and approach the drivers side of the individual that cut him off. He of course was cursing belligerently as he approached the vehicle, but by the time he got the rear driver's side passenger door he suddenly went silent, all he saw was a barrel of a large revolver and it was enough to make him rethink his ill conceived strategy. He promptly returned to his vehicle and never did anything like that ever again.

Those were the good old days when something like that was a simple but very clear message and that was all that was needed. The way people are today, I don't think that situation would have gone down the same way.
 
From 1960 to 1965, I worked as a Bouncer in Clubs, in Liverpool UK.

Lots and lots of fights, was stabbed twice. In 1965 we, family of 4 went to live in Australia. I was extremely sensitive to sudden movements, noises, etc.
For a couple of years.


I was 30 in 1965. At 79 YOA, I still have really fast reflexes! Nerves?
 
Hi, Besafe2,

I wasn't either, in the 50's, but I understand a lot of forces have gone to that kind of training, and it is also used in the National Guard. Of course, the NG can use other tactics. One NG NCO told me that if his unit confronts rioters, the first order is to put on gas masks. I said that was a good idea, since tear gas might have to be used. "Oh", he replied, "the gas masks are not just for use in case of gas, they are to keep the rioters from seeing our faces and finding out how scared we are."

Jim
 
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Thanks for all the prior input.

Being this is on a gun forum, I'm assuming that the OP was armed. I don't have any specific training, but the preparation and thought process to carry a weapon has put me in a more relaxed and "forgiving" state of mind. When I am armed, any conflict has the potential to escalate to deadly force, and so I am the most polite and yielding in any situation. I never want to have to draw my weapon in self defense, never want to have to harm or kill another person. And if it ever does happen, I need to have the best legal standing by having in no way caused or escalated the situation.

If you have or can get training in handling stressful situations, certainly do so. Getting the right mindset when you put on your gun is a necessity, and should become second nature.
 
Behind the wheel imparts an anonymity to drivers. I have driven in several Asian and western countries where driving ranges from offensive to safe and polite. In Indonesia and New Orleans most drivers practice offensive driving skills. In Ireland and New Zealand the drivers are polite and considerate.
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I have been asked to compare driver's attitudes for comparison with other areas.

The Boston Mass. area has always been my favorite, when asked I always explain the attitude as: Don't worry about it, it is nothing personal. It is something their cars does to your car.

F. Guffey

Behind the wheel imparts an anonymity to drivers.
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Then there is the same person setting at the key board.
 
I drive trucks. Ye Olde Bigus Rigus...
Best thing to hit the freeways are Video Cams...
get a GoPro or whatever, mount it to yer dash, vid every trip.

Its amazing the things that can crop up on a long ride...

Like Honey Bees ;)
11224163_917423278340005_7392245169127690368_n.jpg


Also catches bad guys doing bad things...like pulling in front of a semi and slamming on the brakes...
guess how much fun COPS have with 'em after you show them the video :D
 
"Tactical" or "Combat" breathing has been around for a long time and works well, IMHO, for staying calm in times of need....

How to Do Tactical Breathing

With some practice, you can control your breathing, relax, and manage your distress. Here is how to do it.

Breathe from your diaphragm. Your stomach expands, moving out to make room for the air, as you breathe in, and contracts as you breathe out. Tip: Think of your stomach as a balloon filling with air as you breathe in, and emptying smoothly, automatically as you breathe out.

Breathe in through your nose to the count of 4.
Hold your breath to the count of 4.
Breathe out through your lips to the count of 4.
Hold your breath to the count of 4.
Repeat until you feel your body and mind relax.
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I have used and taught relaxed breathing exercises before going on stage. I am not sure that I will take the ten to twelve seconds required for even one cycle if I ever have bullets or an edged weapon coming my way.
 
Extreme Fear - J. Wise

The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes - and WhyJun 16, 2009
by Amanda Ripley

Two good books on the process and techniques.
 
Same type of breathing my wife trained to use in natural childbirth. It really works. Also the same breathing that a singer or wind player uses.
 
Best Advice

There is a lot of good advice on here. Devil Dogs got it right in my opinion. Muscle memory is huge, to alter what you will do when something happens.

Best advice I got in the Army was from a Vietnam vet. He stated he lived by tactical pauses. This gives you the opportunity to slow down, and process what to do. But what I have found in my experience was I paused and then used my muscle memory to execute.

Hands down best book you can ever read is "On Combat" by Lt Col. Dave Grossman.

There is a ton of techniques that I think anyone in Law enforcement or Military should learn and practice.
 
Jujitsu for me. Martial arts training helps to relax, it is healthy, and it is good for the mind. I had an uncle whose abusive son in law try to beat his door down to control his daughter. He put the gun on the guy and the only reason he didn't shoot him is because of his years as a champion boxer. He said that kept him cooler than anything else. It let him think it through quickly. I prefer grappling so I translated.
 
James K is correct. After 20 years in LE you learn to smile when you'd much rather issue a throat punch.

The best way to remain calm is stressful situations is self confidence, gained through training and experience.
 
So, is there away to "train" to stay calm in a tense situation?
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Train. First without any stressors, then add them.

I find it helpful to "soldierproof" any task you might have to do under "less than optimum conditions"- reduce it to simplest, numbered steps and if/then questions and practice each repetively, in order.

As an EMT, I know this works, even in the very worst situations.
 
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