The heavier the oil used with the steel wool, the lower the friction and the lower the abrasion. Use motor oil and you probably won't get much abrasion at all. Light machine oil (such as 3 in 1) or a penetrating oil (WD-40)will allow a higher degree of abrasion. Just have more than one pad of steel wool, and swap dirty pads for clean pads - quickly at first and then slower as the rust has been removed. And wipe off the oil on the rust spot between pad replacements and that'll take off any gritty rust residue that's sitting in the oily patch. You might even want to try a good car wax on the steel wool rather than the oil. However you go about it, go slowly and carefully. If 'slow and careful' doesn't take off enough rust, you can always get more energetic with the rubbing.