Reasons why a handgun is better than a wife.

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...I couldn't live with myself knowing this thread was just going to die.

As everyone knows...every second in America 6,952 feelings are either hurt, rediculed, or simply ignored. Won't you help stop the madness...give [insert own "gift" here] to your favorite liberal cause today.

Besides, a handgun never uses the smoke detector as a cooking timer.

Handguns don't answer every question on the long census form.

Handguns never associate with people who admit to voting for Bill Clinton.

Handguns don't forget to let the dog out.

Handguns don't mind splitting wood.

My wife has no interest in handguns!

Regards in good clean fun,
SM
 
I want to make it perfectly clear that I am not participating in this thread ...
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Wow, great stuff here but you folks took all the good ones
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How about?

Handguns don't mind spending time inside your pants.

It's easy to come to grips with a handgun.

Handguns only have one entrance and one exit.

Handguns don't mind if the dogs sleep on the bed.

With only a little polish, handguns can look brand new.

Gravity and time won't make a handgun sag.

Old men and young handguns are not a strange sight.

You can decock a handgun with one finger and know it's safe.

You can buy a handgun in exactly the size & color you want.

If they screwed up on the design, the manufacturer will fix your handgun for free.

Not everybody can carry a handgun everywhere they go.

It only takes one hand to make a handgun feel comfortable.

Handguns are loud ONLY when you want them to be.

A good smith can smooth out the roughness from any handgun.

Handguns can fire from ANY position.

ttfn,



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Just to be contrary, here's one reason a wife is better than a handgun...because a handgun won't get you a wife, but a good wife will get you a few handguns.
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Thought of a few more while driving home from work today
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15 + 1 in a handgun is a good thing, 15 + 1 in a woman means either somebody's getting married or they're going to jail.

You don't need to put a handgun into stirrups to use a borescope.

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Alright MEN, its almost Mothers Day you need to cut us some slack, you know we left you men alone because we really didn't want to post the true meaning of men and make you all feel bad. LOL

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WHEN IT COMES TO FRIENDS THE SKY IS NOT THE LIMIT

[This message has been edited by terridarri (edited April 19, 2000).]
 
You know, if we all wanted to be Politically Correct... It would be easy to just change the topic to "Why handguns are better than a SPOUSE" I mean, this way we are all on the same side.

Don't get me wrong, there are more important things than being PC, but we don't want to offend our readers of the opposite sex... And besides, we gun people need to stick together instead of fighting amongst ourselves.

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"...you're thinkin was that 5 shots or was it 6? Well, you've gotta ask yourself one question: Do you feel lucky??? ...Well, do ya PUNK!?!?
 
...with both feet,

failure to feed is a rare occurance and can sometimes be solved by a good whack

some have six nipples (think bp revolvers)

when it goes off, you know why

you're expected to hide it in public

...ugh, I don't know.
 
It won't steal the covers off you in bed and put its cold feet on you
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We preserve our freedoms by using four boxes: soap,ballot,jury, and cartridge.
Anonymous
 
Handguns don't know where I keep my credit cards...(although they might as well)

Handguns are not into the whole "nurture" thing.

Handgund don't think your clothes make great cat beds.

Taking a handgun out and feeding it for an hour doesn't obligate you to watch a movie with it.

With handguns, slapping leather is always a good thing.

With handguns, a "stovepipe" is a bad thing.

And last but not least...
A handgun never makes plans for your entire weekend without asking you first.
(Do I seem bitter...!)

Regards in Marital Bliss,
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SM
 
People don't grrrr at you when you tell them your a "Pistolgamist".
ie: Having more than one pistol at home
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Pistol envy is something you can be PROUD about with your mates !

Whether it be 2" or 8" it's mine & damn I'm PROUD of it
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Polishing repeatedly makes it look better
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A handgun doesn't get you to ring it on a mobile phone & expect you to "chat" for 1/2 an hour on arranging dinner dates.

A divorce with a handgun doesn't involve lawyers & a lengthy court battle.
Any lake'll do....
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Spandex doesn't make a handgun look thinner either !
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"The Gun from Down Under !"
http://www.para1911fanclub.w3.to/
E-mail hotshot_2000@hotmail.com
ICQ # 68806935

[This message has been edited by HS (edited April 24, 2000).]
 
You don't have to play the toilet seat game with your handgun
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We preserve our freedoms by using four boxes: soap,ballot,jury, and cartridge.
Anonymous
 
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