Reasons why a handgun is better than a wife.

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Jeff OTMG

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You can buy a silencer for a handgun.

You can trade a .44 for two .22's.

You can have a handgun at home and another for the road.

If you admire a friend's handgun and tell him so, he will be impressed and let you try a few rounds with it.

Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a backup.

You can have many handguns and your friends won't think that you are stupid.

Your handgun will stay with you even if you are out of ammo.

A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

Handguns function normally every day of the month.

A handgun won't ask, "Do these grips make me look fat?"

A handgun does not mind if you go to sleep after you're done using it.

You can have more than one handgun living in the same house without having problems.

A handgun is always ready and willing to be used.

It is good to have a handgun with you if someone breaks into your house.

A handgun speaks loudly, but the speech is short and it doesn't get upset if you wear ear muffs so you can't hear it.

Nobody knows if you have a handgun unless you tell them.

You can take your handgun on a date.

When you fly with a handgun, it travels in checked baggage.

You can trade for a new handgun as frequently as you wish.

A handgun doesn't mind if you stay out all night and don't come home.

A handgun only eats when you decide to feed it.

You can feed a handgun as much as you want without it gaining weight.

You actually enjoy having your handgun with you all the time.

A handgun license is only good for a predetermined number of years.

You can lock your handgun up in the trunk of your car and nobody cares.

If you need money you can legally sell a handgun and someone might actually want to buy it.

Handguns and their acessories are really not all that expensive.

A handgun has the same 'personality' every day, year after year.

Any others?
 
OOPS! Thought I had lots to say till I got here - am now wordless but still have lots O handguns and one wife. The first one took several and I miss them. :D

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"Keep shootin till they quit floppin"
The Wife 2/2000
 
It's better to have a handgun, and not need one, than to need a handgun, and not have one.

You can get farther with a kind word and a handgun, than with a kind word alone.

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2cats

Glock 19
Colt Police Positive .38 Special
Smith & Wesson Model 41
Browning Hi-Power Standard (9mm)
 
A Handgun doesn't have a Mother.

If you screw with your Handgun it won't make a lot of baby handguns.

A Handgun will never ask for your ATM pin number.

Handguns don't get invited to "Candle Parties".

A Handgun won't make you question the deductible on your auto insurance.

A Handgun doesn't have it's own VISA card.

A Handgun will never "serve you papers."

A Handgun never gets behind on it's Student Loan.

A Handgun will never ask you to paint the house.

If you mistakenly call your Handgun by the name of an old handgun you use to own your Handgun won't get upset.

Handguns only need to be lightly lubricated.

Handguns don't talk to telemarketers.

Handguns don't collect "Precious Moments" figurines.

Handguns don't forget to pay the gas & water bill.

Wanting a Handgun "just like Dad's" doesn't have any deeper meaning.

When you part ways with an old Handgun you can often make money on the deal (or at least break even).

If your Handgun pisses you off you can cut it up into 100 pieces and bury it under the floor in your garage and no one will even care.

Once you get a Handgun you can change it to suit your needs.

You'll probably never try to talk a friend out of getting a Handgun.

-- Kernel

[This message has been edited by Kernel (edited April 06, 2000).]
 
The handgun will go bang when you want it to.
The handgun will never have a headache.
If the handgun is broke, you can either fix it, or throw it away.
You can have a handgun in your pants all the time.
You can have two or three handguns in your pants!
 
Hahaha :) I gotta stop readin this, people are lookin over the cubicle walls cause I'm laughing so hard. Some truth there guys!
 
LMAO!!!
:)
But, I gotta admit, I love my wife to the degree that I would give up my guns for her.
However, I wouldn't be with a woman that would ask me to get rid of them.
So, everything is cool!
Again, hysterical!!!!
:D
-Kframe
 
Hey, I enjoyed many of these one-liners. But, as with all humor, you have to know your audience. And if I were a woman looking for support and e-companionship in our shared interest, I'd look elsewhere really fast on reading this thread. Is TFL starting to sound a little too much like other sites that brought many of us here in the first place?
 
Deadcalm, I see your point and agree that TFL is held to a higher standard than the other RKBA sites. However I think that anyone reading the thread, male or female, will recognize it as simply humor. I know that there is no disrespect intended and am sure no offense would be taken by any but the most prudish. The real problem will come when the TFL ladys discover this thread. You'll also notice that I am not going to inject any humor here. I've been married four times and know better than to rile the fair sex. They scare me too much. ;)

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Gunslinger

We live in a time in which attitudes and deeds once respected as courageous and honorable are now scorned as being antiquated and subversive.
 
WARNING!!!!!! I have to go to bed and think on this, but I will return in the morning with my reply and hopefully brings some troops with me. HEHE

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WHEN IT COMES TO FRIENDS THE SKY IS NOT THE LIMIT
 
DeadCalm...the few ladies on board could always fight back with one liners such as:

My 9mm is as quick as my husband?? :D :D



[This message has been edited by LadydeeJ (edited April 07, 2000).]
 
Thanks Ladydee, I'm not offended either, but I think it was kind of funny, I like to see humor, and I will post a few of my comments back. :)

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WHEN IT COMES TO FRIENDS THE SKY IS NOT THE LIMIT
 
Let me say that I mean no finger-wagging here. And Jeff OTMG, I've enjoyed your posts and have never seen you anything but courteous and respectful, and have learned much from you. You ladies who have posted here: God Bless You. My intent is not to be PC, but to ask that we think about those who hit this site randomly or infrequently. What does it look like to you, and what do you want it to look like?
 
With handguns you can hold and play with them as long as you want before they go bang.

With handguns it doesn't take as long to draw them.

With handguns if you keep them oiled they don't get rusty.

With handguns you can pick many sizes.

With handguns you don't have to give them medications to work.

With handguns they don't complain if you buy a new outfit.

With handguns they can be used over and over without a break.

Well this is enough for now, but even as much as I had to say, I have to say men and husbands are nice things to have around. :)

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WHEN IT COMES TO FRIENDS THE SKY IS NOT THE LIMIT
 
With a handgun, there are no necessary "recovery periods" before it works again.

With a handgun, performance isn't affected by age

A handgun doesn't leave dirty dishes all over the house

A handgun doesn't pout when you play with a different handgun


I could go on ;)

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"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes" RKBA!
 
!**$@%@#!!@!#!@#$!@#$!@(#!@#!!
DC! My new monitor has MT DEW all over it now! My Keyboard is gunna get stuck keys now...
Thanks a lot!

Please - do go on... Thats very funny stuff
:D
 
If you decide to part, the handgun doesn't take the house and half of your bank accounts!

All a handgun needs to keep it looking good is an oily rag!

A handgun will never tell its friends about your poor performance last night (at the range of course).

Handguns do not have mothers in law!


Geoff Ross
 
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