i have no problem handling hot and heavy .357 loads. i shoot out of a medium framed 2" and a 3 inch ...
Even though the Ruger is a good gun and plenty rugged, IMHO, no medium frame .357 will handle really hot and heavy loads. Neither will some carbines or single shots. I know this from personal experience. You may think they are hot and heavy loads, but in relaity they are just "warm", compared to what the .357 can do in the right gun.
I have a 125gr load that clocks 1670fps from a 6" S&W Model 28. You cannot safely shoot this in a K frame gun or smaller. Shooting it in the Marlin carbine and T/C Contender means extraction trouble. But out of my M28 or Ruger Blackhawk, it works fine and extracts normally.
Original 1935 .357 Mag ammo was loaded much hotter than anything you can buy today. It will not work well in small light guns. The original .357 was a 158 SWC @ 1550fps from an 8 3/8" barrel. Smith N frames can take that today, and a couple of others can as well, but the vast majority of .357 chambered guns cannot.
The .45 is a great caliber, and does the job of defense as well as anything can. THere are no magic bullets, and "one shot stops" are distorted data, useful for general comparison, but little else.
Since both rounds are more than adequate, it becomes a question of which platform you prefer, and there are many to choose from. Enjoy each, for what it is, and what it isn't!