Recoil....such a varied topic
It is different for each shooter. Is different for each type of gun and caliber. Many are very similar in feel, but each one has a feel. And that felt recoil is important, depending on what, besides hitting your target, your objective is.
Fractions of a second getting your front sight back on the target are heavily emphasised for rapid fire competition, for both serious and social purposes.
They should be of no consequence to a beginner (who should not be shooting heavily recoiling handguns anyway, that comes later) and for the majority of all other shooting are not as critical as a lot of folks make them out to be.
Recoil can be tolerable, at a level below pain, and still have physical injury result, if you "overexpose" yourself to it.
People's perception of what is tolerable, and what is "adequate performance" has changed over the century. In the early years of the .357 Magnum, it was thought of as something usable only by "men of exceptional physique". And that was in the largest heaviest revolvers available in those days! Today, some people think the .44 Magnum is a pussycat!
.44 magnum out of a TC Contender is a pussycat.
I own both, sir, and I can tell you from personal experience, they are not the same! Somebody said the Contender was a heavy gun, but my 10" octagon barrel .44 Mag Contender doesn't seem that way to me, compared to 6" or longer magnum revolvers, and nothing matches the feel of a Desert Eagle for "heavy".
Our expectations of how fast you should be able to get back on target has risen also. Action type shooting competition, as well as experience from combat and defense shooting teaches the faster you can deliver accurate followup shots, the better. It often sounds like if you can't "master" the recoil, expending the effort, shaving those fractions of a second off your time, you will fail. Recovering from the recoil, bringing the sight back on target smoothly, at a comfortable speed is what you need to be able to do. Forcing more speed is not for the beginner, and for recreational shooting, only has value in competition.
In other words, don't play games where time is the difference between winning or losing, until you are up to it. Just like don't shoot too much gun, until you are ready for it. And don't shoot the hard kickers too much, when you get there.