As told to me by Mr. Nimrod Idiot:
"Just today I had a guy honk his horn at me. I was on the highway and changing lanes. I was halfway between the middle lane and the far left lane when I became distracted by my phone. I was replying to a text message, and it was a long text message, and I was straddling the dashed line for a long time, maybe a half mile. I was also occupied with trying to sop up the beer I had spilled in my lap because I was trying to text. Between holding the phone, trying to get the beer bottle back in the cup holder, and fumbling in the glove box looking for a paper towel, I sort of drifted back into the far right lane and into the exit only lane. By the time I noticed, the exit was coming up fast. I swerved quickly out of the exit only lane, and some insane maniac who was in my blind spot honked at me... HE HONKED AT ME!!!! "
"Which let's face it, is really a threat of violence. I mean honking is practically assault. I was in fear of my life, so I drew my firearm. Well, I wasn't able to get a good grip on it, so I did not get a clean draw. After much wrenching and jerking I was finally able to get it out of the holster, but then it flew out of my hand and banged into the windshield. It bounced back into my chest and I reached for it with my left hand, and somehow my pinky got snagged on the trigger of that glock 20. Can you believe that stupid gun discharged? The 10mm bullet went into the console right below the dashboard and somehow made its way to the transmission case. Now I got a transmission leak. Thanks a lot Gaston Glock! "
"Any way, the maniac who honked at me must have seen my gun, and maybe he saw the gun go off. So now he is threatening me with his cell phone. He is calling someone, probably his mafia cohorts or some Al Queda operative, and pointing at me very aggressively. I was still trying to get a solid combat grip on the glock, when I realized my ears hurt really really bad. Now I was really mad. Not only did this terrorist assault me with his car, his horn, and now his phone, he forced me to do something which damaged my hearing. However before I could shoot him in justifiable stand my ground self defense, he found an exit and got off the highway. "
"After another mile or so I found an exit, and good thing because the warning light was on. At the gas station I discovered the transmission leak, and then the car would not go into second gear. I refilled my beer cooler in the back seat, and contemplated how lucky I was to be alive, after that vicious assault. I may not have shot the lunatic, but I firmly believe that had I not been armed, I would have further victimized. Only the sight of my glock caused him to flee."
"So my question is Do I file a police report, or just send my story to the "armed citizen" section of the NRA magazine? When will the painful ringing in my ears go away? I need to sue someone to get the money to repair my cars transmission... but who should I sue?"
.... not trying to make a point... just trying to bring some humor into the thread.