I'd be shooting one out of a 6" barrel. Damn! I just get so paranoid about gun performance during stressful situations! I've been screwed by a gun when I needed it most before, so now I am cautious. I'd love the power of a .357 Magnum but if the noise and flash and recoil would mess me up from being able to defend my life I don't want it. Please help!
The only way to answer this question is to try one yourself. As this thread has made apparent, perceptions of flash, blast, and recoil vary from person to person and no one can accurately predict how you will react to it.
One good thing about a .357 Magnum revolver is the wide array of loadings available. You've got everything from mild .38 Special target loads to .38 +P defense loads, mild .357's like Remington Golden Sabers which are roughly equivalent to 9mm +P, full-power .357 Magnums, and the really nuclear stuff from boutique makers like Buffalo Bore that will produce all the excitement that most shooters would want. If the flash, blast, and recoil of a full-power magnum turns out to be more than you want or can handle, there is no law that says you absolutely must use that ammunition.